No recent event precipitates this post, but I gotta put it out there. Sure, Phil Simms, Rich Gannon and Tony Kornheiser are wanks in their own right, but there is a special place in my hatered house for Randy Cross. I'm certain if you asked him, he'd tell you he's impartial and doesn't favor one team over another.... Not true Randy!
For some incredible reason it seems as though Randy covers every game we do. That gray loaf of hair sanded into that amorphous shape on his massive head. His teeth large and gleaming like some cheap Home Depot plastic fencing... What he does is subtle... bit by bit he degrades the team or over inflates our opponents. Jay Cutler breaks off a good run? Cross says it was luck... or that the usually dominating defense uncharicteristiclly allowed it. We get a sack? The offence took a play off, good for them - they need their rest.
When NFL Network was replaying Superbowl XXXII (as it aired on TV), the original broadcast was tossed to Cross at the studio where with the aid of computer graphics outlined how the Broncos had been lucky thus far and were clearly going to lose.
Okay, and I gotta say it... What's with the creepy mustache? As though there wasn't enough hair on that enormous mellon of his, he had to add a whisp above that big mouth of his. Was it grown to hide his pedo-smile?
This is good therapy... and Randy Cross is a Jerk Face.