(Ordinarily this would be printed on the back of a brown paper sack or napkin)
Dear Bronco applicant,
Each year the pro football hall of fame inducts only a small few to these hallowed halls. As you know, there are many Redskins, Giants and Bengals we need to induct and so, in case you haven't firgured it out already, there probably isn't any room for you despite your career qualifications or achievements.
Because you're a Bronco we've compiled the following Eligibility Application that you must complete to begin the consideration process. Please use a purple crayon and use complete sentances.
Again, any mention of your qualifications or achievements should not be noted, nor will they be considered.
Pro Football HOF
1. Have you been retired for longer than 5 years?
2. Have you been retired for longer than 25 years?
3. You were a Bronco. How do you feel this unfortunate descision should impact your application?
4. Are you John Elway?
5. Would you object to a possibly intoxicated or totally flustered Pat Bowlen present you to the Hall of Fame?
6. Are you Randy Gradishar?
7. Would you object going into the hall as a Giant, Cowboy or Cardinal instead (this would improve your chances)?
8. Are you Floyd Little?
9. As a Bronco, if we let you in, would you keep it a secret or yap about it to your friends and family?
10. Choose one: Jacket, Ring or Bust?
11. Are you Karl Mecklenberg?
12. Complete this sentence: [Your name] was the John Elway of [postition].
13. Are you Terrell Davis, Steve Atwater or any member of the Orange Crush?
14. Are you sure you didn't play for the Cowboys?
15. Think one last time... How long did you play for the Cowboys?