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The Dude Abides...It´s Charger Limerick Time

It´s not Raider week, but still, it´s a division opponent.  So I decided to create a few Charger Limericks.

 

And besides, I really hate powder blue.  I mean, I really hate it.

 

As always, give your own Limerick a whirl.  You can probably create an even dozen just from the Tila Tequila incident alone.  And yes, Charger fans, you can play too.  That is if you can actually rhyme and count syllables.

 

For those that may be missing the thread of Raider Limericks, you can find them here.   Prepare to laugh yet again at all of the drag queens in the Black Hole. 


On to the Limericks.

 

 

Ode to Phil Rivers

A real leader stands with his team,

But your cries make winning a pipe dream.

     There you are near the stands,

     arguing with the fans

While your title hopes melt like ice cream.

 

 

 

Shawn Merriman Gone Wild

"Lights Out" is a very good catch phrase

for a guy muddled in steroid craze.      

     Now your sacks are so down.

     And Tequilia´s a frown.

So AJ might trade you from this haze.

 

 

 

Old Man Turner

Norv Turner is a very nice cat,

but you don't  take him into combat.

     His record is scary.

     So be very wary

That Al Davis just might want him back.

 

 

 

Know your Place, San Diego

Charger fans, you're looking up again.

It's part of McDaniels' master plan.

     It´s his AFC West,

     where Denver is the best.

So to the bottom where you began.

 

 

 

The Mind of AJ Smith

14 wins and you ran Marty out,

but you found the GM great no doubt.

      You´re such a spotlight whore,

      your head´s too big for the door,

So jettison more talent you trout. 

 

 

Go Broncos!!!!

This is a Fan-Created Comment on MileHighReport.com. The opinion here is not necessarily shared by the editorial staff of MHR

13 recs  |  Comment 80 comments

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Bravo!

Hmmm…

LT was the cream of the crop
An All-Pro who ran straight to the top
Now he carries the rock
Like a thorn’s in his sock
Watch his fantasy value just drop!

"Take what you can. Give nothing back!"

by Colorado_Kitten on Oct 16, 2009 5:04 PM MDT reply actions   0 recs

Not bad for a Pirate!!

I am amazed. I think mine are pretty funny until I read the rest of these. I am rolling on the floor!

Smokey, my friend, you are entering a world of pain.

by TJ Johnson on Oct 16, 2009 7:34 PM MDT up reply actions   0 recs

That was great! I'm with you lebowski, I can't stand powder blue either.

It makes me wanna puke. You know what keeps me from puking when I see their horrid jerseys, a Broncos win!!!

Great limericks!

"When you put on that jersey, the name on the front is more important than the name on the back." - "Miracle".

"Winning means you're willing to go longer, work harder, and give more than anyone else." - Vince Lombardi.

by broncoholic on Oct 16, 2009 5:21 PM MDT reply actions   0 recs

ok, its been years since I tried this and I probably suck...but here it goes:

There once was a rich man named Dolt
Who thought he was as powerful as a bolt
But then showed up a Bronco – orange & blue
Who revealed this man Dolt had not a clue
The West is to be won by that hot young colt

Verbose in style, dispersion of thought, procrastination in life.

by Tim Lynch on Oct 16, 2009 5:27 PM MDT reply actions   0 recs

Zappa, Nice.

Verbose, baby. Very verbose!!! And that’s the point!!

Smokey, my friend, you are entering a world of pain.

by TJ Johnson on Oct 16, 2009 7:36 PM MDT up reply actions   0 recs

Oh Felipe, we hardly knew ye.

There once was a QB named Rivers
Who made the Charger fans hot with quivers
Then along came week 6
And he tossed up 4 picks
While the Bronco defense delivers

"He can take his'n n beat your'n, or he can take your'n n beat his'n." Florida A&M Coach Jake Gaither on Alabama Coach Paul "Bear" Bryant.

by turnerstoe on Oct 16, 2009 5:48 PM MDT reply actions   4 recs

tuner, awesome!

Imagine, you could replace Rivers with Cutler in line one and week 6 with week 1 in line three. then throw in GB in line 6, and you would have reality!

Smokey, my friend, you are entering a world of pain.

by TJ Johnson on Oct 16, 2009 7:37 PM MDT up reply actions   0 recs

It's the new "green" eco friendly lymeric"

Renew, reuse. recycle. 3 cheers for Kyle Orton!

"He can take his'n n beat your'n, or he can take your'n n beat his'n." Florida A&M Coach Jake Gaither on Alabama Coach Paul "Bear" Bryant.

by turnerstoe on Oct 16, 2009 8:09 PM MDT up reply actions   0 recs

That was friggin awesome!

Had to recommend that!

Lady, you want me to answer you if this old airplane is safe to fly? Just how in the world do you think it got to be this old?
— Anon

Both optimists and pessimists contribute to the society. The optimist invents the aeroplane, the pessimist the parachute.
— George Bernard Shaw

by Choochoobonewagon on Oct 18, 2009 4:08 AM MDT up reply actions   0 recs

I'll give it a shot

The state of Chargers Fans

So your a charger fan and your feeling some doubt
Your team has been experiencing a drought
your see your running game is dead and the o-line is to dread
and the Broncos seem to have all the clout

"even a stopped clock is right twice a day" Yosemite Sam

by lovewatchinthegame on Oct 16, 2009 5:50 PM MDT reply actions   0 recs

another

Phylis Rivers has quite an arm
But Monday he’s headed for harm
you see the Bronco’s “D” is for real
And are ready to seal the deal
I hope Phylis doesn’t end buying the farm!!!

Hope the bolts are ready for a shock
As Orton and company ROCK
With Marshall, Moreno and Buck
The bolts defense is a sitting duck
Now who’s gonna clean who’s clock???

"even a stopped clock is right twice a day" Yosemite Sam

by lovewatchinthegame on Oct 16, 2009 6:02 PM MDT up reply actions   0 recs

lwtg

Damn I forgot to use Phylis in mine!!! You got me man!!!

hahah, I should have used that. Good ones!!! I totally spaced it!

Smokey, my friend, you are entering a world of pain.

by TJ Johnson on Oct 16, 2009 7:38 PM MDT up reply actions   0 recs

Classic!

LOL!

"He can take his'n n beat your'n, or he can take your'n n beat his'n." Florida A&M Coach Jake Gaither on Alabama Coach Paul "Bear" Bryant.

by turnerstoe on Oct 16, 2009 6:15 PM MDT up reply actions   0 recs

+1

Precision in thought, concision in style, decision in life.

by Jeremy Bolander on Oct 16, 2009 7:10 PM MDT up reply actions   0 recs

odarol

very concise and very sweet, dude. That’s why I love reading the others because they are funnier than mine.

Smokey, my friend, you are entering a world of pain.

by TJ Johnson on Oct 16, 2009 7:40 PM MDT up reply actions   0 recs

?

I remember when Fouts who threw,
But don’t recall quite the same blue.
This Phyllis and Powder,
Like Manhattan Chowder.
Is something I just have to spew.

Guardian of the Gate to La La Land!
Gonsoulin, Taylor, Little, Wright, Gradishar, Atwater, Davis, and Sharpe...
Why are they not in the Hall...I just don't understand.

by Mike Clark on Oct 16, 2009 7:16 PM MDT reply actions   1 recs

LOL lovin' it!!!

"even a stopped clock is right twice a day" Yosemite Sam

by lovewatchinthegame on Oct 16, 2009 7:33 PM MDT up reply actions   0 recs

I'm thinkin Pulitzer, Clark!!!!!!!! Nice

Smokey, my friend, you are entering a world of pain.

by TJ Johnson on Oct 16, 2009 7:34 PM MDT up reply actions   0 recs

?

The Monkey on Shanahan’s back,
Is about to be put on a rack.
McDaniel wants no part,
His team has a new heart.
We CRUSH and we’re not looking back.

Guardian of the Gate to La La Land!
Gonsoulin, Taylor, Little, Wright, Gradishar, Atwater, Davis, and Sharpe...
Why are they not in the Hall...I just don't understand.

by Mike Clark on Oct 16, 2009 7:36 PM MDT reply actions   1 recs

Mike,

Dude, you have a talent for this. Either your Irish or just damn funny. What’s in that Kool Aid again? ha!

Smokey, my friend, you are entering a world of pain.

by TJ Johnson on Oct 16, 2009 7:41 PM MDT up reply actions   0 recs

Wrong moves kept me from being a poet and a author, funny how we wess up our lives.

Guardian of the Gate to La La Land!
Gonsoulin, Taylor, Little, Wright, Gradishar, Atwater, Davis, and Sharpe...
Why are they not in the Hall...I just don't understand.

by Mike Clark on Oct 16, 2009 7:43 PM MDT up reply actions   0 recs

?

Last year ‘Diego did feast,
They made us look like the least.
But ’Doom’ is a looking,
Our defense is cooking,
We unleash Royal and ‘The Beast’.

Guardian of the Gate to La La Land!
Gonsoulin, Taylor, Little, Wright, Gradishar, Atwater, Davis, and Sharpe...
Why are they not in the Hall...I just don't understand.

by Mike Clark on Oct 16, 2009 8:09 PM MDT reply actions   0 recs

a nudder one

McDaniel’s was seen as a dunce
Who may not win, even once
    He supposedly gave away the farm
    When he traded the arm
But now who’s looking like the punce?

"even a stopped clock is right twice a day" Yosemite Sam

by lovewatchinthegame on Oct 16, 2009 8:12 PM MDT reply actions   0 recs

or...

QB Orton has taken a lot of heat
It was said he was easy to beat
   He has a noodle arm
   Can’t cause ya much harm
But he has yet to face a “defeat”

"even a stopped clock is right twice a day" Yosemite Sam

by lovewatchinthegame on Oct 16, 2009 8:19 PM MDT up reply actions   0 recs

I have to say Lebowski...

this has to be one of the funnest post’s I have had the pleasure of playing around on… thanks!!!

"even a stopped clock is right twice a day" Yosemite Sam

by lovewatchinthegame on Oct 16, 2009 8:21 PM MDT reply actions   0 recs

no problem....just think, we still have the Chiefs twice, the Raiders, and the Chargers once again

and if that´s not enough, we can always write a whole series of Ray Lews murder Limericks.

Smokey, my friend, you are entering a world of pain.

by TJ Johnson on Oct 17, 2009 12:04 AM MDT up reply actions   0 recs

?

Once ‘Norved’ a team is just that,
A car rolled over the cat.
The cat knows he’s dying,
but just keeps on trying.
But that is the end of that.

Guardian of the Gate to La La Land!
Gonsoulin, Taylor, Little, Wright, Gradishar, Atwater, Davis, and Sharpe...
Why are they not in the Hall...I just don't understand.

by Mike Clark on Oct 16, 2009 8:21 PM MDT reply actions   0 recs

MC

The best yet. I can smell a MHR coffee table book coming…

Smokey, my friend, you are entering a world of pain.

by TJ Johnson on Oct 17, 2009 12:04 AM MDT up reply actions   0 recs

Actually I didn't like this one....here's the redux

A car rolled over a cat,
Once ‘Norved’ a team is just that.
They both know they’re dying,
They soon give up trying,
Content with getting more flat.

Guardian of the Gate to La La Land!
Gonsoulin, Taylor, Little, Wright, Gradishar, Atwater, Davis, and Sharpe...
Why are they not in the Hall...I just don't understand.

by Mike Clark on Oct 17, 2009 2:11 PM MDT up reply actions   0 recs

Thanks lebowski

This has been one fun post!!

Guardian of the Gate to La La Land!
Gonsoulin, Taylor, Little, Wright, Gradishar, Atwater, Davis, and Sharpe...
Why are they not in the Hall...I just don't understand.

by Mike Clark on Oct 16, 2009 8:26 PM MDT reply actions   0 recs

There once was a city by the sea
To which players for big paychecks would flee
They had lots of skill
But their coaching was nil
Per Rivers, “It’s all pretty much about me!”

by OrangeKnuckleDragger on Oct 16, 2009 9:44 PM MDT reply actions   0 recs

OKD

Welcome to MHR once again. Thanks for joining the party, bro!

Phil is going get crushed on MNF! I will think of this one when he talks about how tough he was taking hits from Doom.

Smokey, my friend, you are entering a world of pain.

by TJ Johnson on Oct 17, 2009 12:02 AM MDT up reply actions   0 recs

Thanks!

I’m a big fan of your posts already.

Cheers!

-OKD

by OrangeKnuckleDragger on Oct 17, 2009 12:05 PM MDT up reply actions   0 recs

I like these

There once was a cat named Sproles
Who could move like Beyonce’ Knowles
He went out for a screen
and got crushed in between
Two LB’s knocked out of his soles.

Character may be manifested in the great moments but it is made in the small ones -- Philip Brooks

by KaptainKirk on Oct 16, 2009 9:58 PM MDT reply actions   0 recs

Kap

Glad to see someone got Sproles in there.

You are a closet Beyonce fan, I knew it!

Smokey, my friend, you are entering a world of pain.

by TJ Johnson on Oct 17, 2009 12:00 AM MDT up reply actions   0 recs

Last year we played in a trance,
To the playoffs the chargers did prance
        But now we’ve got Dawkins
        He’s no Sadie Hawkins
The bolts won’t be asked to the dance.

"My job description is to win football games. I'm a hard worker. I'm not flashy by any means, but my job is to play football and win and I plan to do that." Kyle Orton

by odarol on Oct 16, 2009 10:21 PM MDT reply actions   0 recs

Sadie Hawkins....classic man

I knew there were some funny cats at MHR, but this stuff has me rolling.

Smokey, my friend, you are entering a world of pain.

by TJ Johnson on Oct 16, 2009 11:55 PM MDT up reply actions   0 recs

/

In the AFC West world of sports
Theres a team makin pundits mess their shorts
They thought it was all blue
Admit it, you did to
But the orange is crushing pre-season reports

"Change is inevitable - except from vending machines."

by EastCoastBronco on Oct 16, 2009 11:03 PM MDT reply actions   0 recs

-

There’s a qb from the wolfpack
Who has a nasty aerial attack
But when Doom hits him blind
It will scramble his mind
And the Bolts will beg Drew Brees back

"Change is inevitable - except from vending machines."

by EastCoastBronco on Oct 16, 2009 11:16 PM MDT reply actions   0 recs

ECB

I like all 3, but this one the most! Anytime you can work Doom into a line, you´ve just got to!

Smokey, my friend, you are entering a world of pain.

by TJ Johnson on Oct 16, 2009 11:54 PM MDT up reply actions   0 recs

This is fun

They say in the eyes of the Bolt’s team
you can see “Quiet confidence” gleam
but out on the field
a different look they will wield
The pain of the end of a dream

You’re time is up San Diego. Nice run though.

"Change is inevitable - except from vending machines."

by EastCoastBronco on Oct 16, 2009 11:23 PM MDT reply actions   1 recs

I meant for the comment below to be a reply to this.

Smokey, my friend, you are entering a world of pain.

by TJ Johnson on Oct 17, 2009 12:41 AM MDT up reply actions   0 recs

Outstanding

I particularly liked your recovery when finding a rhyme for phyllis was gettin squirley on you, you threw in some Gary Coleman! It was a damn fined counter-punch sir. A damned fine Gary Coleman counter punch. Well played.

Rec’d

"Change is inevitable - except from vending machines."

by EastCoastBronco on Oct 17, 2009 12:57 AM MDT up reply actions   0 recs

Epic

This one is absolutely epic. The Coleman reference was absolutely hilarious

god created earth in 6 days....on the 7th day, he took a break and created elway

by Bronkos on Oct 17, 2009 9:57 AM MDT up reply actions   0 recs

Igor, I knew there was a reason for me staying up late tonight!!!!!!!!

I have to rec this reply, hombre. Truly truly sweet.

This is the kind of thing I am talking about over at the smack thread. Satire, man! You get it!

Classic and awesome. Well done, sir.

Smokey, my friend, you are entering a world of pain.

by TJ Johnson on Oct 17, 2009 12:41 AM MDT reply actions   0 recs

First try

There once was a team from So Cal
Whom the media loved like a pal
“Just let them get started”
Said Dukes as he farted
“Who cares if Rivers throws like a Gal”

by Rain on Oct 17, 2009 12:48 AM MDT reply actions   0 recs

Rain

First try ain’t bad. And a body function reference to boot. Good stuff.

Smokey, my friend, you are entering a world of pain.

by TJ Johnson on Oct 17, 2009 4:12 PM MDT up reply actions   0 recs

Here is my limerick:

The Chargers suck.

Verbose in style, dispersion of thought, procrastination in life.

by Tim Lynch on Oct 17, 2009 12:50 AM MDT reply actions   0 recs

lol

Guardian of the Gate to La La Land!
Gonsoulin, Taylor, Little, Wright, Gradishar, Atwater, Davis, and Sharpe...
Why are they not in the Hall...I just don't understand.

by Mike Clark on Oct 17, 2009 2:12 PM MDT up reply actions   0 recs

But not as much as

the faders!

Character may be manifested in the great moments but it is made in the small ones -- Philip Brooks

by KaptainKirk on Oct 17, 2009 5:32 PM MDT up reply actions   0 recs

Closer to a haiku....

but I’ll take it. LOL

-Harvey J. Neptune

"Practice doesn't make perfect. PERFECT practice makes perfect." - Vince Lombardi

by HarvJNep2n on Oct 17, 2009 5:34 PM MDT up reply actions   0 recs

Sponsor Fantasy League

I drafted LT for my Fantasy Doop
Hes the best running back in my group
He cant gain a yard
And runs like a tard
But I get points when he eats chunky soup

by Rain on Oct 17, 2009 12:55 AM MDT reply actions   0 recs

Nicely done.

-Harvey J. Neptune

"Practice doesn't make perfect. PERFECT practice makes perfect." - Vince Lombardi

by HarvJNep2n on Oct 17, 2009 5:35 PM MDT up reply actions   0 recs

This made me laugh out loud

Honestly

Lady, you want me to answer you if this old airplane is safe to fly? Just how in the world do you think it got to be this old?
— Anon

Both optimists and pessimists contribute to the society. The optimist invents the aeroplane, the pessimist the parachute.
— George Bernard Shaw

by Choochoobonewagon on Oct 18, 2009 4:14 AM MDT up reply actions   0 recs

They’ve been the big boys in the room
LT, oh he could zip and zoom
       But the Broncos retooled
       Chief and raiders ’ll be schooled
And the Chargers hear the tolling of DOOM

"My job description is to win football games. I'm a hard worker. I'm not flashy by any means, but my job is to play football and win and I plan to do that." Kyle Orton

by odarol on Oct 17, 2009 1:05 AM MDT reply actions   0 recs

Back in oh six, the chargers were sound,
A running LT was the best back around,
Yes, LT was a Burner,
Til entered Norv Turner,
Who then ran the the team into the ground

by Rain on Oct 17, 2009 1:09 AM MDT reply actions   0 recs

good one

Guardian of the Gate to La La Land!
Gonsoulin, Taylor, Little, Wright, Gradishar, Atwater, Davis, and Sharpe...
Why are they not in the Hall...I just don't understand.

by Mike Clark on Oct 17, 2009 2:12 PM MDT up reply actions   0 recs

How can we believe what we see?
What a coach we have in McD!
      I’ve got a vision
      we’ll take the division.
And represent the west AFC.

"My job description is to win football games. I'm a hard worker. I'm not flashy by any means, but my job is to play football and win and I plan to do that." Kyle Orton

by odarol on Oct 17, 2009 1:26 AM MDT reply actions   0 recs

That Rivers he taunted,
‘oh, i’ve a big arm’ he flaunted.
     But Orton was cool,
     he took him to school.
It’s the brains that win games that are vaunted.

"My job description is to win football games. I'm a hard worker. I'm not flashy by any means, but my job is to play football and win and I plan to do that." Kyle Orton

by odarol on Oct 17, 2009 1:40 AM MDT reply actions   0 recs

od

Orton was cool…..yeah, baby

Smokey, my friend, you are entering a world of pain.

by TJ Johnson on Oct 17, 2009 4:12 PM MDT up reply actions   0 recs

Good stuff here.

LOL’s all around

Character may be manifested in the great moments but it is made in the small ones -- Philip Brooks

by KaptainKirk on Oct 17, 2009 8:18 AM MDT reply actions   0 recs

wow hp

especially the dude that gets sucker punched by the charger fan….that is some black hole stuff right there

Smokey, my friend, you are entering a world of pain.

by TJ Johnson on Oct 17, 2009 4:09 PM MDT up reply actions   0 recs

Ok here's one:

There once was a fella named phillis
Who swore up and down he would kill us
But the Bronco pass rush
The new orange crush
Had us fans sayin’ “whatchyou talkin’ bout willis”

by ThunderBringer on Oct 17, 2009 11:58 AM MDT reply actions   0 recs

lol

Guardian of the Gate to La La Land!
Gonsoulin, Taylor, Little, Wright, Gradishar, Atwater, Davis, and Sharpe...
Why are they not in the Hall...I just don't understand.

by Mike Clark on Oct 17, 2009 2:18 PM MDT up reply actions   0 recs

can't get enough Gary Coleman, baby

Smokey, my friend, you are entering a world of pain.

by TJ Johnson on Oct 17, 2009 4:11 PM MDT up reply actions   0 recs

An Ode to the crazy ole Bolts
Who always seem to lose to the Colts
They can get just so far
Before they crap in a jar
And all go home crying like dolts!

Coach Marty had the chargers at fourteen and two
Then Smith said to Marty, hasta luego, adieu!
It took just three years
And a boatload of tears
For Norv to have them smelling like poo.

Its rumored five-six was pumping the juice
His opponents, all scared, were screaming for truce
Then the guy shagged his knee
Lost the edge, and you’ll see
Now in sacks, he’s bringing up the caboose

Philip Rivers was a hero when he hurt one of his knees
He played on it like a champ, while trying to please
But he cant shut his Trap
With all this Taunting and Crap
He makes the Fans wish they still had Drew Brees

by Rain on Oct 17, 2009 6:47 PM MDT reply actions   0 recs

my turn.....

There was once a man called Phyllis
who was jealous of the though man Hillis
He though he could run,
hit by BDawk once and was done,

The Broncos dominated the night,
SD’s fairweather fans were out of sight
and Norv shook in fright
of the beating to McD’s delight!

fader nation is a conquered nation

Jerry Jones is Al Davis with a smile!

by mdierk on Oct 17, 2009 9:34 PM MDT reply actions   0 recs

Elvis will rain fire and doom
On Rivers he’ll lower the boom
Like a bull seeing red
He’ll put him to bed
As we send the Dolts into gloom

Champ will fly like a star
Dawkins wont let them get far
DJ and Davis will stuff
A run game thats like powder puff
And leave the Dolts with a scar

Wild Horses will run all amok
As Orton smiles with pluck
Cuz deep down he knows
Hes thumbing his nose
At pundits who don’t know fu…..ummmm didley hehehehe
At the pundits who really are schmucks

"The question that sometimes drives me hazy, Am I or the others crazy?" -Albert Einstein

by Disturbed70 on Oct 17, 2009 10:57 PM MDT reply actions   0 recs

The classic

There once was a girl from Nantucket
Who thought Phillip Rivers could chuck it
After betting the farm
Upon Phillis’s arm
The Broncos D made her say….

by Velveeta on Oct 17, 2009 11:06 PM MDT reply actions   0 recs

Though the San Diegans in Blue
On the field were performing like poo
With their picks MSM
Hacks fawned all over them
As they shrugged, just assuming they’re due.

by Velveeta on Oct 17, 2009 11:16 PM MDT reply actions   0 recs

I’m Phyllis, I Quarterback San Diego
It’s My Team! So Leggo my Eggo
And I know I’m the best
Better than Orton and the rest
Even though I run like I’m Preggo

Make those miracles happen - Jon Keyworth

by IgorBStrange on Oct 17, 2009 11:18 PM MDT reply actions   0 recs

There once was a back named LT
Who had prev’ously been MVP
But with increasing age
He will exit the stage
After hitting the wall: Denver’s D

by Velveeta on Oct 17, 2009 11:31 PM MDT reply actions   0 recs

Not a Dolt limrick, but I couldn't resist....

Our front 7’s garbage stink defaced
Last is where we will place
Well stink you’ve failed
Your rings you’ve paled
And now your just a disgrace

"The question that sometimes drives me hazy, Am I or the others crazy?" -Albert Einstein

by Disturbed70 on Oct 17, 2009 11:36 PM MDT reply actions   0 recs

The preseason media thrashed
Even Mark Schlereth did bash
But these Garbage Men
Proved again and again
That they know how to take out the trash

by Velveeta on Oct 17, 2009 11:54 PM MDT up reply actions   0 recs

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