Broncos Culture Exclusive Interview With Jay Cutler (A Parody)--Part I

Recently, former Denver Broncos quarterback Jay Cutler granted broncosculture.com an exclusive interview. Our high tech audio video recording equipment was malfunctioning that day, so all I can provide is the transcript of the interview.

So many Broncos fans responded to Cutler's departure with morbid comments such as: the Broncos are only going to win four games this year, McDaniels will be out after one season, and our offense is going to suck with Kyle Orton.

Since, people seemed to be so in love with Jay Cutler, I thought I owed it to the five fans who visit this page to get in touch with Cutler and interview him. Here is how it went:

Broncos Culture (BC): A lot has been said about what went down between you, Josh McDaniels, and the Denver Broncos organization this season. In your own words, what did go down?

Jay Cutler (JC): After a difficult end to the 2008 season which included the firing of my master and head coach, Josh McDaniels came in and wanted nothing to do with me. Not only did McDaniels not want anything to do with me, but Pat Bowlen didn't want anything to do with me. I know this for a fact because there was a rumor that Josh wanted to trade me for Matt Cassel straight up. At that point, I knew that there was no point in even listening to them. No explanation was needed. It was the biggest, most undeserved slight--next to the time that Philip Rivers taunted me in San Diego--I have ever endured. I was their franchise quarterback, and they wanted to trade me. When I saw that they didn't want to keep me anymore, I stopped answering their phone calls and refused to meet one on one with any of them. Instead, I demanded a trade. I ended up in Chicago. Denver ended up with Kyle Orton and two first round draft picks. It is Denver's loss.

BC:With all due respect, the Broncos are undefeated and the Bears are .500 right now. How was that Denver's loss?

JC:Well, I have already mentioned this, but I was their franchise quarterback. It is a fact that NFL teams do not win Super Bowls without franchise quarterbacks. No offense to Kyle Orton, but he is not a franchise quarterback. Also, have you seen that guy's hair?

BC:Are you seriously making fun of someone's hair?

JC:Come on! You at least have to admit that the neckbeard thing is ridiculous. I can't even grow one of those.

BC:You keep mentioning the adjective "franchise" and placing it in front of quarterback. You claim to be a franchise quarterback. You have mentioned that franchise quarterbacks help teams win Super Bowls. Could you please elaborate on what else makes a franchise quarterback?

JC:All of the right tools. To be more specific, all of the tools that I have. I can throw the deep ball, I can scramble and am good on bootlegs, and the mainstream media adores me. Also, the team spends a high draft pick on a franchise quarterback because they believe the media hype about him, and they bench a winning quarterback in favor of the new and flashier "franchise" quarterback. Those are the key ingredients.

To Be Continued...