Late Thanksgiving afternoon, a few hours before game time and just before posting my Denver Bronco flag in it’s holder above my garage (which I have done before every game this season), I did something momentous and I truly believe to be game- (and perhaps, season-) changing: I fixed the green twisty that holds on the lower half of the flag in place. You see, it had begun to fray over the bye week after the Broncos galloped to their 6-0 start. I noticed the flaw, but hardly thought twice about it. After all, why fix what ain’t broke? The flag could dangle by one string and still wield its magical powers, assisting the Broncos to victory after victory without hardly another thought.

Then came the Baltimore game. Oh well. A loss was bound to happen. As a matter of fact, thank you, Baltimore for taking that albatross of an “undefeated record” off of us so we can just concentrate on winning a Super Bowl. Coach McDaniels knows all too well how ominous those 1974 Dolphins are when their sacred mark is tested. Let us leave well enough alone and merely take the Lombardi Trophy home for—

Oh. Okay, Pittsburgh. I see. You have something to say, too, eh? Alright. 7-2 and a little spanking juice will be brought to the hapless Redskins where ---

What the flip? Is my flag upside down or something? No. But I do see the tattered edges of the lower green twisty more clearly than ever. Now I really should do something about it…except, it’s the Chargers and this game is for first place. A season-sweeping win puts the Broncos squarely in the driver’s seat. Why should I have to do anything? There’s no way a team that started out 6-0, then dropped three straight would come unprepared for a division rivalry game like—

Now…now I see my foolishness from the beginning. I somehow believed that what I was doing (or not doing) didn’t make a difference. How selfish could I be?! The frayed green twisty was but a metaphor for my beloved Broncos. I quickly switched out the old twisty for a new one and reposted the corrected, magical flag.

Ah yes. Now, that is something to behold. Just a few hours before the New York Football Giants make their way to Mile High to show off their east coast superiority complex, I have brought in a secret weapon the G-men cannot thwart (can’t very well thwart what you don’t know about).

As the game results showed, clearly it was my care of the flag that made all the difference. In the immediate sense, I’ll humbly accept all your thanks. It is my pleasure to use my awesome powers for all things orange and blue.

And now, with that slice of ridiculum past, I ask you to share your favorite rituals. I especially treasure those which you certainly did the first week, mysteriously forgot or overlooked the following four games, then miraculously rediscovered for the Thanksgiving feast against the Giants.

My best to you all. Happy Chiefs week.