A one-on-one with Josh McDaniels

Me: Josh, thanks for taking the time to sit down and chat with me, just a common long-time Bronco fan.  Why are you giving me this opportunity while you have hardly spoken to the local media?

JM: Well, Bob or whatever the hell your name is, the media there in Denver just hasn't really warmed up to me or our Patriot ways yet.  They need to get used to the way we do things here in New England.

Me: Ummmmm, errrrr, Josh.  We're in Denver.  And you are now head coach of the Denver Broncos.  You are confusing me.

JM: Nope, Bill, I think you are confused.  You see, when I say "we" or "us" or "here," I'll always be referring to New England and the Patriots.  "They" or "them" or "there" always refers to Denver and the Broncos.  I hope that clears things up for you, Ben.

Me: Mmmmmkay.  Back to business.  The whole Jay Cutler fiasco has fans divided and confused.  Care to shed any light on what happened?

JM: Jay Cutler has talent.  We have proven here in New England that we don't need a quarterback with talent.  We don't even need one who started in college.  So I looked at what they had in Denver, and I said, what went wrong the last few years?  A bajillion points scored on their defense?  Nope, it was obviously the talent at QB bringing them down.  I want them to have someone who can just plug and play, dink and dunk, and basically do whatever the hell I tell them to do.  That wasn't Jay Cutler.  So it is time for them to let him go.  Did you know that I am only 32 years-old, Buck?  And now I am coaching them!  I'M KING OF THE WORLD!

Me: Speaking of king of the world, what happened with the GM situation, where one week our .... errrr ..... their owner was comfortable with the 3-headed position, the next week the Goodmans were canned?

JM: This one is a little bit more complicated, so bear with me Brock.  One reason Mike Shanahan was fired was their owner wanted to divide up the power he had.  So naturally, he brought in a young, super inexperienced, coach with absolutely no experience in making personnel decisions.  Well, that whole plan sat well with me for, like, 2 days.  Then I realized that I am fricken KING OF THE WORLD, and those guys, the Goodmans, didn't seem to understand that.  So I had them canned.  The other guy, Xavier or whatever the hell his name is, he isn't much of a personnel guy either.  But he's a damn good yes man.  By the way, know of any teams that may be interested in Eddie Royal, Peyton Hillis, or Ryan Clady?  Those guys are on the block, baby!

Me: Well, thank you for your time, Josh.  This has been rather, well, enlightening.  Good luck to you and them this season.  You're going to need it.