Jarvis Moss returning tomorrow; Peyton Hillis one-on-one interview coming

To understand the situation it’s necessary to appreciate the fact that the opportunity may be part of the problem. It hasn’t bought him happiness so far, and the money may have merely isolated him further and accentuated the fact that money and acclaim don’t make someone happy.

Constant negative press, much of which questions his character, doesn’t help either.

I’ve often spoken of the “big man’s disease,” which is a emotional vulnerability, lack of social skills and support system. Being a large male can be a kind of curse, particularly for successful athletes.

They’re feared because of the size, so they often don’t develop social skills. Or to put another way, they have the perfect tool for ending any conflict, so there can be little opportunity to develop coping skills.

They lack support networks because they’re treated as adults at a much earlier age than their peers. This is because they aren’t viewed as needing emotional support because they’re “a man,” a designation that is prematurely bestowed on them because of their size.

The added burden for athletes is that they are ‘pushed’ into sports at an early age because of the size & ability, which often makes their motivation for what they’re doing a ‘vicarious pleasing’ of others. The athlete isn’t pursuing sports for his or her own intrinsic motivations as much as fulfilling what other people expect of him/her.

Challenges, which are few during their early career because of their ability, bring the foundational motivations into examination. In essence, a big part of their motivation is to please other people, and when other people aren’t pleased, then why do it? The myth of the big, strong male often hides emotional vulnerabilities. Other people can rationalize emotional neglect and cruelty under the belief that aren’t like other people.

The truth is that big, strong male athletes often need more emotional support than other people and have a greater difficulty asking for it because they’ve been raised (though societal expectations) to equate having their emotional needs met as a form of weakness.

I could go on but — it can be as simple as having other people believe in them. The ironic thing is that since the athlete has been winning approval all of his/her life by being successful at sports, having that approval removed or replaced by strong disapproval (by nasty fans) is a recipe for getting them to quit. And to go on — accusations related to money are usually far off the mark, since it’s simple emotional reinforcement that drives the athlete to continue, along with the fact that it’s all they know, so there’s a tremendous personal investment in their career. Their reasons haven’t changed throughout their career, they still enjoy their sport for the same reasons that kids enjoy it. Harsh, untrue and unfair criticisms, especially when intentionally cruel, can cause them to question their reasons for continuing — (as it should, since there’s no reward). The attention that fans pay to the money is dangerously offbase, since it’s often the money that draws the attention of unscrupulous manipulators (thus cutting the athlete off from normal social relationships), and it’s the money that alienates them and hurts their values (i.e., being able to buy anything robs them of ’valueing" because acquiring loses its meaning).