The Dube Abides...It´s Raider Limerick Time!
by TJ Johnson on Sep 1, 2009 1:12 AM MDT
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PrintIn the spirit of demonstrating that Bronco fans are a cultured bunch, I present you a few Limericks....Raider Style.
Feel free to make up your own. I resisted the urge to do one about Jay Cutler. The Raiders just make it too easy.
There was a guy named Big Tom Cable,
Whose sneak attacks were very able
One day he spied Hanson
In meetings just prancin'
So he broke his skull through a table.
Raider fans, Sundays are Halloween.
Another silver and black drag queen?
Your team is so scary,
Your women so hairy,
That the Black Hole isn't awfully mean.
The Crypt-keeper won't draft a team need.
Like Tom Cruise, he's got the need for speed.
His draft board just consists
Of 40-yard dash lists
And unknown guys who likely can't read.
For a Hutt, JaMarcus throws so hard
That sometimes you forget all the lard
But even his rocket
Can't match the soft pocket
When you check down as slow as a guard.
Poor babies, Randy Moss got away
For a 4th round draft pick, you don't say?
Vampire Al had to watch
Himself kicked in the crotch
As Casual Chronic still could play!
This is a Fan-Created Comment on MileHighReport.com. The opinion here is not necessarily shared by the editorial staff of MHR
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Man good job! I’ll try to think myself of 1, but im pretty bad at at… had a good laugh anyway, nice work!
Bleeding Orange & Blue in The Netherlands
Thanks BN
Don’t worry about coming up with one. As long as you laughed.
Smokey, my friend, you are entering a world of pain.
Here's a try.
There once was a man named McFadden
Whose speed left the other teams saddened
Yet with no one to block
Other teams cleaned his clock
Now he even runs frightened on Madden.
by bowma101 on Sep 1, 2009 2:50 AM MDT reply actions 13 recs
Awesome Stuff!!!
I should have consulted you in the making of this post!!
Smokey, my friend, you are entering a world of pain.
that's totally hilarious
thanks for a Tuesday morning laugh.
"The best defense is a good offense. Or is it the other way around." Wolverine
Pray for the best, prepare for the worst, and know you will come down somewhere between the two.
Livin' in La La Land and Lovin' It
BShrout
Thanks. By the way, I enjoy the hell out of your posts and perspective from your job. Please keep it coming.
Smokey, my friend, you are entering a world of pain.
Al
There still is a man, name of Al
For Denver fans, a great big pal,
While we may be re-building,
he’s constantly gilding,
the stuff you scoop from a Horse’s corral.
"Life is a daring adventure or nothing" - Helen Keller
"He will always be a slave who does not know how to live upon a little" Horace
by PositivIntegral on Sep 1, 2009 8:44 AM MDT reply actions 2 recs
Yes, Cutler. Sincerely.
There once was a lad, call him Jay,
Could he play? Yes, my friend he could play,
But when New had a point…
the lad Old did anoint,
Said “Not my point, I’m going away.”
"Life is a daring adventure or nothing" - Helen Keller
"He will always be a slave who does not know how to live upon a little" Horace
I mean great work PI, not commenting on my own post!
Smokey, my friend, you are entering a world of pain.
Here's my attempt
The fans of the Silver and Black,
have nothing to do but talk smack.
They’re team is so easy to attack,
Cuz the owner is such a hack.
He drafts for speed,
which is not what they need,
I think it’s a brain that he lacks.
The iambic meter is wrong, but off the top of my head,it works for me.
"You give 100 percent in the first half of the game, and if that isn't enough, in the second half you give what's left." – Yogi Berra
"No, I'm from Iowa, I only work in outer space."
Kaptain,
Just got back from work and you had me laughing.
I had to stray from iambics too, so don’t worry, man!
Smokey, my friend, you are entering a world of pain.
Thanks, Lebowski - all clear
I’ve admired this site and your particular take for years, and finally joined up. Should have some philosophical posts by and by.
This was a great idea – limericks…nice.
"Life is a daring adventure or nothing" - Helen Keller
"He will always be a slave who does not know how to live upon a little" Horace
Thanks for joining Posi
and Welcome!
"You give 100 percent in the first half of the game, and if that isn't enough, in the second half you give what's left." – Yogi Berra
"No, I'm from Iowa, I only work in outer space."
hey thar Posi
good to have you amongst us!
Conversation nonstarters: hoping McDaniels fails, comparing Bears to Broncos, Cutler to Orton, apples to oranges, and casual drinkers to Raiders fans.
by broncosmontana on Sep 1, 2009 4:39 PM MDT up reply actions
poor Raiders
Though its cheaper to live outside the Bay,
When the time comes to line up and play,
With no grand strategy,
Hell, not half an idee,
Lets hope Darth Vader knows how to pray.
"Life is a daring adventure or nothing" - Helen Keller
"He will always be a slave who does not know how to live upon a little" Horace
by PositivIntegral on Sep 1, 2009 10:00 AM MDT reply actions
I like it
But Why would we hope he can pray? lol its sounds kind of like a raiders fan with no faith in the team rather than a bash on them lol.
Overall great work all, and def worth a great laugh at work. keep it up, all.
"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
- Thomas Alva Edison
"Success is not a place at which one arrives, but rather... the spirit with which one undertakes and continues the journey."
- Alex Noble
Ode to Da Raydu's
“Commitment to Excellence”, that’s what they say.
Cheap shots and penalties, that’s how they play.
Their banner declares pride & poise.
While their actions are are shameful & wrong.
The truth about the black hole boy’s noise.
Under their costumes they wear a tight thong.
“Just Win Baby”, they used to yell.
Now the baby needs some petroleum gell.
"He can take his'n n beat your'n, or he can take your'n n beat his'n." Florida A&M Coach Jake Gaither on Alabama Coach Paul "Bear" Bryant.
TT, Rock it!
I love this. Wait until Raider week!
Smokey, my friend, you are entering a world of pain.
For the CSU-cu game
The Buffs are scared to play in Mile High,
So they moved this year’s game to their own sty,
But the Rams will come callin’,
And the Buffs will be ballin’,
As Ram fans let their victory banners fly!
Our 2009-2010 Avs: The towel has been thrown into the rink.
BB
Good, my man. I’d hate to see what you would write for the CSU-Wyo game….
Smokey, my friend, you are entering a world of pain.
for the CU-csu game (hehehe)
The bloody scene was one to abhor
The blood, the stench and the horror
The Rams bodies lay torn apart
As they searched for their hearts
In the welter of their gore.
Strength and honor
"It's easy to have faith in yourself and have discipline when you're a winner, when you're number one. What you've got to have is faith and discipline when you're not yet a winner." -Vince lombarti
by kybroncomaniac on Sep 2, 2009 7:02 AM MDT up reply actions
GO RAMS!!!!
"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
- Thomas Alva Edison
"Success is not a place at which one arrives, but rather... the spirit with which one undertakes and continues the journey."
- Alex Noble
variation on a favorite Raider theme
There once was a coach name o’ Chuckie,
His Raiders team wasn’t so lucky…
Thought they had a sack!
Pats got the ball back!
And showed us how bad Raiders suckie!!!
Conversation nonstarters: hoping McDaniels fails, comparing Bears to Broncos, Cutler to Orton, apples to oranges, and casual drinkers to Raiders fans.
by broncosmontana on Sep 1, 2009 3:03 PM MDT reply actions 4 recs
Hey, it’s not my fault fumble doesn’t rhyme with back. ; )
Conversation nonstarters: hoping McDaniels fails, comparing Bears to Broncos, Cutler to Orton, apples to oranges, and casual drinkers to Raiders fans.
by broncosmontana on Sep 1, 2009 3:03 PM MDT up reply actions
montana
I rec’d this, because it makes me laugh even when the raiders get screwed by the refs!!! nice post!
Smokey, my friend, you are entering a world of pain.
The owner may not know his role,
The characters questionable,
But the coaches and players
. cannot stop the naysayers
When the whole frikkin team’s on parole!
Conversation nonstarters: hoping McDaniels fails, comparing Bears to Broncos, Cutler to Orton, apples to oranges, and casual drinkers to Raiders fans.
revised
The owner may not know his role,
The talent is questionable,
But the coaches and players
. cannot stop the naysayers
When the whole frikkin team’s on parole!
Conversation nonstarters: hoping McDaniels fails, comparing Bears to Broncos, Cutler to Orton, apples to oranges, and casual drinkers to Raiders fans.
by broncosmontana on Sep 1, 2009 3:12 PM MDT up reply actions 1 recs
Warn all of your little third graders,
To lay off of their Space Invaders,
“Go thou to school
. so you won’t be a tool
And have to play for the Raiders!”
Conversation nonstarters: hoping McDaniels fails, comparing Bears to Broncos, Cutler to Orton, apples to oranges, and casual drinkers to Raiders fans.
there once was a corpse from oak
who despite his decay couldn’t croak
since he is undead
his team dies instead
as year in and year out they choke
Precision in thought, concision in style, decision in life.
by Jeremy Bolander on Sep 1, 2009 3:48 PM MDT reply actions 6 recs
Styg!!
Awesome. Is this Walt Whitman? Just perfect!
Smokey, my friend, you are entering a world of pain.
A dehydrated girl from Nantucket,
Cast into the well her wood bucket
But the water was green
and smelled just obscene.
“The Raiders were here?” she cried. “F—- it!”
Conversation nonstarters: hoping McDaniels fails, comparing Bears to Broncos, Cutler to Orton, apples to oranges, and casual drinkers to Raiders fans.
Montana, Styg, I say we put out a whole book of these, I am laughing too hard
Smokey, my friend, you are entering a world of pain.
Totally Rec'd
Let’s do Raider Haiku next week.
"He can take his'n n beat your'n, or he can take your'n n beat his'n." Florida A&M Coach Jake Gaither on Alabama Coach Paul "Bear" Bryant.
Al Davis is dead
But luckily for Denver
He is still in charge.
Our 2009-2010 Avs: The towel has been thrown into the rink.
by Bob in Boulder on Sep 1, 2009 4:04 PM MDT up reply actions 3 recs
lol
gonna be hard to top that one
Conversation nonstarters: hoping McDaniels fails, comparing Bears to Broncos, Cutler to Orton, apples to oranges, and casual drinkers to Raiders fans.
by broncosmontana on Sep 1, 2009 4:27 PM MDT up reply actions
Here goes hope you like them !
There once was a hobbit named Davis……. Who drove a rental car
rented from AVIS……… As he flew off the road …… He croaked like
A toad….. I guess this is the end of the raiders !!!!!
by broncosfaninphilly on Sep 1, 2009 4:26 PM MDT reply actions
Cable !!!
There once was a raider named Cable…….Who thought that he was
ready willing and able……..He punched someone in the face ……
Now hes disgraced…….Makes one wonder if his minds really
stable???
by broncosfaninphilly on Sep 1, 2009 4:32 PM MDT reply actions
I take it back
With Cable they will 4-12 and in jail.
Smokey, my friend, you are entering a world of pain.
Some people call them the “Faders,”
Others like “Jokeland” or “Gayders,”
But to really nail
. how vastly they fail
Nothing quite says it like “Raiders”.
Conversation nonstarters: hoping McDaniels fails, comparing Bears to Broncos, Cutler to Orton, apples to oranges, and casual drinkers to Raiders fans.
Montana, I am beginning to think Pulitzer for you.
Smokey, my friend, you are entering a world of pain.
So I have been reading for about five months
and I just had to sign up to let you know I quoted you on facebook. Don’t worry, I gave you credit.
Gosselin
Way to join up. Feed the machine that is Broncomania…
Smokey, my friend, you are entering a world of pain.
wow!
thanks, G! I’m honored! And welcome to MHR!
Conversation nonstarters: hoping McDaniels fails, comparing Bears to Broncos, Cutler to Orton, apples to oranges, and casual drinkers to Raiders fans.
by broncosmontana on Sep 2, 2009 4:00 AM MDT up reply actions
win
Precision in thought, concision in style, decision in life.
by Jeremy Bolander on Sep 2, 2009 12:43 AM MDT up reply actions
someone should set these to music
Conversation nonstarters: hoping McDaniels fails, comparing Bears to Broncos, Cutler to Orton, apples to oranges, and casual drinkers to Raiders fans.
Raider fans !
To be called a fan of the Raiders……Is like being grouped in with a
whole bunch of haters……..They cry through the nite dressed in
costumes of fright …….they should be shipped out to sea on
freighters !!!!!!
by broncosfaninphilly on Sep 1, 2009 4:38 PM MDT reply actions
They’ve got one good player – Asomugha
But the rest of the team plays like dung (uh!)
the coach is a thug
the owner on drugs
And the fans are just rude muthahummas
"Remember, it's only a game."
by robswenson on Sep 1, 2009 8:20 PM MDT reply actions 1 recs
lol
Conversation nonstarters: hoping McDaniels fails, comparing Bears to Broncos, Cutler to Orton, apples to oranges, and casual drinkers to Raiders fans.
by broncosmontana on Sep 1, 2009 9:57 PM MDT up reply actions
They have an owner whose last name is Davis
A Great Coach he practically gave us
For Denver the schedule lies tough
But the Raiders are fluff
In fact, playing them twice just might save us.
I really enjoy this, both in writing and especially at the game!
Watched the 08’ opener in “Cry-Town”
Then Hoorah’d whilest their secondary did Lie Down
It just wasn’t quite Fair,
Bombs scorch’d down from ‘ze Air
As they got smoked by a Rook’ and a Sell-Out!
(No offense Eddie, I figured you would humbly accept the cheese if it was at the Fader’s expense. I did Capitalize it for you though. <3)
In It to Win It
It's Orange Crush Time
Hey Lebowski
You should collect these all and stuff them into a book. It would sell like mad in Denver. Just Author it: “MHR” and Title it: “Ode’ to Al Davis”
Kind of has a ring to it, you know?
In It to Win It
It's Orange Crush Time
P.S.
Would it be like, TOTALLY not classy to post these on the Raider Board? Lol.
In It to Win It
It's Orange Crush Time
Well, I am game, but I would think they could do some great ones about BM
…wait a second, so could we!
Smokey, my friend, you are entering a world of pain.
I could see a book of these, or at least a post with all of these collected with by-lines of the users
…..I am thinking there is a Chiefs and Chargers post coming as well
Smokey, my friend, you are entering a world of pain.
I think that i've discovered a new addiction Dude.
A secret genius I know hired Cable,
Along with every other felon ‘twas able,
And wouldn’t you guess?
They swept the AFC West.
P.S. This Marine is mEntAlLy UnSTABle!!
In It to Win It
It's Orange Crush Time
USMC
If you are unstable, what does that say about the rest of us???? haha
Smokey, my friend, you are entering a world of pain.
Kickin' it old school with this one. It's a Limer-Riddle!
I know a name, and no Raider can bear it,
It even tingles my skin just to share it.
After a bounce so divine
That the Faders still pine:
“Immaculate Deception!” Of course, Franco Harris!!
In It to Win It
It's Orange Crush Time
My first attempt (lol)
A storm will come over the bay
When the Orange and Blue come to play
The Raider fans will cry
Al Davis might die
Leaving the Black Hole behind in dismay.
Bleeding Orange & Blue in The Netherlands
BN
That is better than my fifth. Good work, my friend!
Smokey, my friend, you are entering a world of pain.
Mmmm fun.
Hey Davis, FYI Oakland hates you,
Your own fans, the first to berate you.
Keep drafting for speed,
You will never succeed,
And Denver will congradulate you!
In It to Win It
It's Orange Crush Time
I told you I was addicted...
No completions against our pass rush,
And Davis will erupt in a fuss,
He will stick to the run,
And still won’t get it done,
We will laugh as we chant: “Orange Crush!”
In It to Win It
It's Orange Crush Time
Here is a try (kind of dark though)
In hell ther’s is yelling and screaming
But Satan is literally beaming
Death is in the Black Hole
Laying claim to a soul
Of Al’s while he lies there dreaming
Strength and honor
"It's easy to have faith in yourself and have discipline when you're a winner, when you're number one. What you've got to have is faith and discipline when you're not yet a winner." -Vince lombarti
First time on..Love the site
There head coach name is Tom Cable
He broke his assistant coaches jaw on a table
The last coach name was coach Kiffin
Al Davis had a press conference just to rip him
The drafted for speed
Instead of Crabbtree
When will they ever learn
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