FanPost

jokeland faiders Jokes

In honor of Broncos - raiders week, I'm proud to present the faiders jokes fanpost! We all know what makes a great joke....the truth! Feel free to add your jokes in the comments.

 

A man walks in to a bar with a Jack Russell Terrier that is wearing a raiders helmet and jersey, festooned with raiders pom-poms. 

The bartender says, "No pets are allowed in here, you have to leave!"

The guy begged him, "Look I'm desperate, we're both big fans and my TV is broken. This is the only place we can watch the game."

After securing a promise that the dog would behave and that he would get kicked out the moment it misbehaved, he allowed them to stay and watch the game. 

The game began with the raiders receiving the kick. They marched down, got stopped at the 30 and kicked a field goal.

The dog promptly jumped up on the bar and began walking up and down giving high-fives to everyone!

The bartender says, "Wow, that's the most amazing thing I've ever seen! What does he do when the raiders score a touchdown?"

The man replies, "I don't know, I've only had him for 4 years."

 

A teacher walks into class on the first day of school in San Diego. Eager to make a good impression she says “I am a Chargers fan, who else loves the Chargers?”

To which every hand in the class is raised except one. Frowning, the teacher asks the girl with her hand down “Why didn't you raise your hand.”

The little girl answers “Because I’m not a Chargers fan, I root for the Broncos.”

The teacher, in shock, asks “Why would you be a Broncos fan when you live in America's finest city, San Diego?”

The girl answers “Well, my mom is a Broncos fan and my dad is a Broncos fan, so I’m a Broncos fan.”

“Well," said the teacher in an annoyed tone, "that is no reason for you to be a Broncos fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mom was a prostitute and your dad was a drug dealer?”

The little girl answered “Well, then I'd be a raiders fan.”

 

How do you stop a raiders fan from masturbating? Paint his member orange and blue and he wont beat it for years.  

 

A teacher asked her class to share what their fathers do for a living. As the children were taking turns sharing she noticed that Timmy was being unusually quiet.

She asked him “Timmy what does your dad do for a living?” Timmy replied, “My dad takes off his clothes for other men.” Shocked, she quickly changes the subject and after class pulls Timmy aside.

“Timmy is it true what you said about your father?”, she asks.

“No, my dad plays football for the raiders, I just couldn’t stand letting all the other kids know that.”

 

 

Al Davis was on the side of the road with a flat tire and no jack. A good samaritan stopped and offered to lift his car up while Al changed the tire. That being done, the good samaritan let the car back down.

"Wow," Al said, "you are really strong. How would you like to play football for the best franchise in the NFL?"

The samaritan looked at Al a bit puzzled and replied, "That would be great! So, who do you know that works for the Broncos?"

 

 

A boy took his parents to court because he did not want to live with them any longer. The judge asked him, "Why don't you want to live with your Dad?"

"Because he beats me." Was his response.

"Why don't you want to live with your Mother then?"

"Because she beats me too."

"Oh, well then who do you want to live with?" Asked the judge.

The boy answered, "I want to live with the oakland raiders because they don't beat anyone."

 

 

Two Broncos fans were walking through a cemetery when they came upon a tombstone that read: Here lies Jose Sanchez. A good man and a raiders fan. One of the Broncos fans asks the other, "So when did they start putting two people in one grave?"

 

 

Did you hear the one about a raiders fan that died in a pie eating contest? The cow kicked him in the head!

 

This is a Fan-Created Comment on MileHighReport.com. The opinion here is not necessarily shared by the editorial staff of MHR

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