The Dude Abides...Limericks to Jay Cutler, We Salute You

Good idea TJ

Oh the fun that we once had with Jay
He would throw it and run it all day
But when inside the 20
He threw picks aplenty
And that let the game slip away.

JC, its time to say goodbye
Your fit isn’t looking so sly
It’s your ten cent head
that leaves a team dead
and waiting for you’re next big cry

Chi-town it’s a new baby boy
Happiness and respect you’ll employ
But ignore the “pick” line
And you’ll be just fine
That stat you ignore gives us joy

Jay threw the game away once again
Nobody in Chi-town can grin
In May, look away
With Bears fans in dismay
Orange and Blue picks a player at ten

Tremendous tallent has this Jay,
Some strut, ‘He failed’, its his way.
Yet from sacks he tears apart;
Shows tremendous non stop heart,
In Chicago he will find his way.

Not sure why some must put him down,
This childish thing brings a frown,
Funny this Cutler Jay,
I hope he really has a day,
When his tallents bring a crown.

and a ring

I’m really tired of this knock Cutler nonsense.

There is a QB numbered 6
Who always throws ignorant picks
The sad player pouts
While the other team routs
Hey Jay, frowns don’t attract chicks.

Jay, you make it easy to smile
Limericks really are the best style
But I’ve hurt you enough
Throwing picks is real tough
Now, I think that I’m done……for a while.

I really laugh at all the Fuss
Jay pouts like a big Sour Puss
When he has a bad game
He avoids all the blame
and throws his teammates under the Bus!

“i’d rather not get in the fray
and start pointing fingers today
but my only receivers
-they’re decent retrievers-
but all seem to run the wrong way.”

Most picks from a Francisco niner?
Do their safeties and corners catch finer?
Jay throws to all
So watch for the ball
If it hits you, you’ll get quite a shiner.

Do you think that chi-town misses Kyle?
His neckbeard is the manliest style.
Cutler gets all the props
Cuz his arm is the tops
But It don’t matter if you throw it a mile.

Ode to Jay

Franchise quarterback you are not
They don’t throw picks a whole lot
Stats gain
without a brain
4 years and you have learned squat

Little Jay throws the ball on a line
To the other team most of the time
and we all laughed
as we moved up the draft
But I’m just a 6 and they are a 9

There once was a six that was almost a seven
Still much to learn but we wouldn’t let him
For his part in it he suffers a year
For ours we’ll be years in first gear
Meanwhile laughing Shanny’s a Redskin

Laughed my ass off at that Emo Jay.
The hair and the piercings! Touche!
Through off-season and drama
And Jay’s Pick-o-rama
It’s sad PapiGrande’s gone away.

I had his back up til the end.
Against Rivers, it’s Jay I’d defend.
But it just took a bit
When I turned hypocrite,
To become Jay’s best fairweather friend.

It’s not that I want him to fail;
His success was our Holiest Grail
The part that’s so funny
Is we could lay money
On the second his drives would derail.

The accuracy was uncanny
With which we predicted a whammy!
It’s second and goal,
He drops back, out he rolls,
The receiver, midst defenders many.

The way he got out of D-town
Was suspect and caused us to frown.
You might blame McD
But the big thing, to me,
IS THAT HE SNUBBED HIS BOSS! What a clown!

Oh Jay I loved your game plenty
Until you got inside the twenty
  Then the defense would gorge
  You are Baby Jeff George
Your head, is it really that empty?

You were so full of fire and fight
Your passes they sailed like a kite
  The Chargers called you a punk
  Said it was arrogance not spunk
How unfortunate you proved they were right

Da Bears thought they had it all
until Jay got hold of the ball
Just like Obama in DC
Chicagoans can’t begin to see
The mess they made every fall

There was a young QB named Jay
Who was traded one happy spring day
He brought with him his tricks
Like his talent for picks
’Til Chicago fans could only pray

Oh, the limericks always are fun
It’s so hard to create only one
It’s lacking in recs
but not in respect
I hope it’s read by everyone.

I think this is my final rhyme
Until the next Limerick time.
It would be such a laugh
To write verse for the draft!
If we get Suh it would be sublime!