You're really going to have to blame Papi and Sayre for this one. I had no intention of doing this, but when Sayre revealed that he used a simple online program ( http://www.easportsworld.com/en_US/ncaafootball/create_a_school ) to make his, I had no choice but to let my imagination loose (not that I've been bottling it up anyway, I prefer to use my will power for more important things, like resisting the urge to take a 45-minute bus ride to Manchester's Chinatown for the sole reason of buying fried jackfruit).
After the jump, you will get to witness the fruits of my labour. Are you ready? Really? Are you sure? Because the jump is coming up... and you may not actually be ready for the unbridled spectacle that you'll have to face. And there are lots of pictures. And crazy ideas. And stuff you may not want to hear. Are you confident in your ability to handle it? Really? Really? REALLY?!!
Okay. After the jump, I will reveal that after letting my creativity stew in the soup of NCAA Football Create-a-Team I have... decided... to...
Steal from the state of Colorado.
It's really simple. Basically, all we have to do is contact Frank Sinatra and tell him we have a plan to... eh... liberate Colorado's vast amounts of gold. See that picture up there? That yellow circle? It's code. It's actually a gold coin. And it's surrounded - oppressed - by a red near-circle (called a "c" by the cryptographers I've hired out of my own pocket - for which I expect to compensated). Red means danger. It's simple logic here, people! The person that designed the flag wanted us to know... to know Colorado's deep, dark secret. Twist the picture 90 degrees to the right... what do you see? The white looks like a mountain, with the gold laying on top of it, and it's surrounded by armed guards with lots of guns (red means danger, and guns are dangerous, duh!). White obviously means the Rockies, because snow is white until children (and adults, you know who you are) decide to pee on it and the Rockies are apparently covered in the stuff because I keep hearing stories about it from people on MHR and elsewhere.
So, what do we know? Colorado has been stashing all of its gold in the Rockies. This gold is guarded by people with lots of guns and probably surveillance cameras that shoot laser beams. There is no way to get through to the giant heaps of gold -- no way from the surface, that is. The designer has let on how to get to the gold: from underneath (use your logic banks here! It's really simple! We can't penetrate the circle, except for where it is broken). We will tunnel through the Rockies, and snatch - I mean, liberate the gold from under their noses. It's brilliantly simple! And brilliant! Just think of what we can do with all that gold! I'm going to buy SBNation, change the background to orange again, and then, seeing as I'll be John's (Bena) boss probably, I'm going to force him to write about the Broncos without using the letters D, E, N, V, R, B, R, O, C, and S, just for lulz.
Okay, so the plan is this: we contact Frank Sinatra, tell him our plan for freeing the oppressed gold, and he'll call his buddy Sammy Davis, Jr. and his colleague Dean Martin, who'll e-mail his good friend, Peter Lawford, who will then get in touch with Richard Conte, and he'll --
Oh.
Uh...
Hm.
Okay, I don't know how to say this... but... I've just been told that all these guys are actually, um, dead. Wow. As if discovering that Lamont Jordan is no longer a Bronco wasn't bad enough, now I get the shock news that Sinatra has died. What next? David Carrad--
Oh.
Huh...
Well, at least Mich--
Geez.
Ju--
Oh.
K-
Dang.
Well, I warned you not to come in here. I guess we'll just have to abandon my plan... unless... well, we could get John Wayn--
Oh, okay. I understand. Yeah, so much for liberating that mountain of gold, betraying you and taking all of it for myself, turning MHR into an orange paradise, and spending the rest of my days in a panda bear sanctuary, chasing down pandas and shooting them (you know, so I can have a panda gallery on Flickr).
Well, *sigh*, I'll just go to plan B... and steal the colours of that flag, except the red (which means danger), replacing it with the fan-favourite orange.
So, the idea was to keep the orange and blue (though in a lighter shade), and add a dash of the 'ol mustard. The biggest change is probably the numbers in the home uniforms being blue now; this may cause visibility issues, but I wanted to stick to the colour scheme and white isn't a part of it (except for the pants). I also refrained from using straight lines, sort of employing Gaudi's philosophy that nature prefers curves. I already know a couple people are going to hate me for it. :p
The program allows 2 helmet designs, 4 jersey designs (home, away, home alternate, away alternate), two pants designs, and I ignored the shoes/socks; i.e. a total of 16 variations.
Home 1.1:
Home 1.2:
Home 2.1:
Home 2.2:
Away 1.1:
Away 1.2:
Away 2.1:
Away 2.2:
Home Alternate 1.1:
Home Alternate 1.2:
Home Alternate 2.1:
Home Alternate 2.2:
Away Alternate 1.1:
Away Alternate 1.2:
Away Alternate 2.1
Away Alternate 2.2:
...all that gold... I wonder if George Clooney is still robbing ridiculously-impenetrable casinos...
Poll
Do you want to help Tempestuous Binary liberate the over-flowing gold of the Rocky mountains?
Of course! I want to live in a panda sanctuary, too! (But what's this about betraying us, eh?) (6 votes)
Yes! But I'm going to be doing the betraying! (3 votes)
Not in a million years! (Ask me in a million years' time, I may have changed my mind then.) (3 votes)
No... Utah has more gold buried in the Great Salt Lake. Let's steal THAT gold. (14 votes)
26 total votes
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