I have decided to get a sheeplasty and join the uniform-creation fad.
by Tempestuous Binary on Feb 23, 2010 9:55 PM MST
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PrintYou're really going to have to blame Papi and Sayre for this one. I had no intention of doing this, but when Sayre revealed that he used a simple online program ( http://www.easportsworld.com/en_US/ncaafootball/create_a_school ) to make his, I had no choice but to let my imagination loose (not that I've been bottling it up anyway, I prefer to use my will power for more important things, like resisting the urge to take a 45-minute bus ride to Manchester's Chinatown for the sole reason of buying fried jackfruit).
After the jump, you will get to witness the fruits of my labour. Are you ready? Really? Are you sure? Because the jump is coming up... and you may not actually be ready for the unbridled spectacle that you'll have to face. And there are lots of pictures. And crazy ideas. And stuff you may not want to hear. Are you confident in your ability to handle it? Really? Really? REALLY?!!
Okay. After the jump, I will reveal that after letting my creativity stew in the soup of NCAA Football Create-a-Team I have... decided... to...
Steal from the state of Colorado.
It's really simple. Basically, all we have to do is contact Frank Sinatra and tell him we have a plan to... eh... liberate Colorado's vast amounts of gold. See that picture up there? That yellow circle? It's code. It's actually a gold coin. And it's surrounded - oppressed - by a red near-circle (called a "c" by the cryptographers I've hired out of my own pocket - for which I expect to compensated). Red means danger. It's simple logic here, people! The person that designed the flag wanted us to know... to know Colorado's deep, dark secret. Twist the picture 90 degrees to the right... what do you see? The white looks like a mountain, with the gold laying on top of it, and it's surrounded by armed guards with lots of guns (red means danger, and guns are dangerous, duh!). White obviously means the Rockies, because snow is white until children (and adults, you know who you are) decide to pee on it and the Rockies are apparently covered in the stuff because I keep hearing stories about it from people on MHR and elsewhere.
So, what do we know? Colorado has been stashing all of its gold in the Rockies. This gold is guarded by people with lots of guns and probably surveillance cameras that shoot laser beams. There is no way to get through to the giant heaps of gold -- no way from the surface, that is. The designer has let on how to get to the gold: from underneath (use your logic banks here! It's really simple! We can't penetrate the circle, except for where it is broken). We will tunnel through the Rockies, and snatch - I mean, liberate the gold from under their noses. It's brilliantly simple! And brilliant! Just think of what we can do with all that gold! I'm going to buy SBNation, change the background to orange again, and then, seeing as I'll be John's (Bena) boss probably, I'm going to force him to write about the Broncos without using the letters D, E, N, V, R, B, R, O, C, and S, just for lulz.
Okay, so the plan is this: we contact Frank Sinatra, tell him our plan for freeing the oppressed gold, and he'll call his buddy Sammy Davis, Jr. and his colleague Dean Martin, who'll e-mail his good friend, Peter Lawford, who will then get in touch with Richard Conte, and he'll --
Oh.
Uh...
Hm.
Okay, I don't know how to say this... but... I've just been told that all these guys are actually, um, dead. Wow. As if discovering that Lamont Jordan is no longer a Bronco wasn't bad enough, now I get the shock news that Sinatra has died. What next? David Carrad--
Oh.
Huh...
Well, at least Mich--
Geez.
Ju--
Oh.
K-
Dang.
Well, I warned you not to come in here. I guess we'll just have to abandon my plan... unless... well, we could get John Wayn--
Oh, okay. I understand. Yeah, so much for liberating that mountain of gold, betraying you and taking all of it for myself, turning MHR into an orange paradise, and spending the rest of my days in a panda bear sanctuary, chasing down pandas and shooting them (you know, so I can have a panda gallery on Flickr).
Well, *sigh*, I'll just go to plan B... and steal the colours of that flag, except the red (which means danger), replacing it with the fan-favourite orange.
So, the idea was to keep the orange and blue (though in a lighter shade), and add a dash of the 'ol mustard. The biggest change is probably the numbers in the home uniforms being blue now; this may cause visibility issues, but I wanted to stick to the colour scheme and white isn't a part of it (except for the pants). I also refrained from using straight lines, sort of employing Gaudi's philosophy that nature prefers curves. I already know a couple people are going to hate me for it. :p
The program allows 2 helmet designs, 4 jersey designs (home, away, home alternate, away alternate), two pants designs, and I ignored the shoes/socks; i.e. a total of 16 variations.
Home 1.1:
Home 1.2:
Home 2.1:
Home 2.2:
Away 1.1:
Away 1.2:
Away 2.1:
Away 2.2:
Home Alternate 1.1:
Home Alternate 1.2:
Home Alternate 2.1:
Home Alternate 2.2:
Away Alternate 1.1:
Away Alternate 1.2:
Away Alternate 2.1
Away Alternate 2.2:
...all that gold... I wonder if George Clooney is still robbing ridiculously-impenetrable casinos...
This is a Fan-Created Comment on MileHighReport.com. The opinion here is not necessarily shared by the editorial staff of MHR
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Comments
I am all for orange and our primary color
however orange pants and an orange helmet have to go. I don’t like that look at all. Blue helmet, orange jersey, and white pants for home games.
Nice work putting this together though.
Floyd Little: HOF Class of 2010.
2009 NBA Champions L.A Lakers
2009 NBA Finals MVP Kobe Bryant
I can dig that.
Blue helmet, orange jersey, and white pants seems solid to me.
"All by their heads, he places crowns."
Matt Prater, pre-2009 season: Despised, lambasted, Josh McDaniels is derided for not replacing him.
Matt Prater, post-2009 season: Loved, praised, everone forgets the time when they called Josh McDaniels an idiot for not replacing him.
by Tempestuous Binary on Feb 24, 2010 7:36 PM MST up reply actions
....
what just happened?
Precision in thought, concision in style, decision in life.
"That's MR.Styg..."
by Jeremy Bolander on Feb 23, 2010 10:13 PM MST reply actions
Eh...
I advocated stealing a mountain of gold from the state of Colorado…?
"All by their heads, he places crowns."
Matt Prater, pre-2009 season: Despised, lambasted, Josh McDaniels is derided for not replacing him.
Matt Prater, post-2009 season: Loved, praised, everone forgets the time when they called Josh McDaniels an idiot for not replacing him.
by Tempestuous Binary on Feb 24, 2010 7:37 PM MST up reply actions
You mean "liberate", right? lol
Your words, not mine.
If Taylor Swift were to try and tackle me, I'd let her.
PS3 ID: broncomaniac6
by Troy Hufford on Feb 24, 2010 9:18 PM MST up reply actions
Oh, yes... uh... I want to... liberate... the gold of the Rocky mountains.
Doesn’t anyone want to help me, um, free the gold? Come on, for freedom.
"All by their heads, he places crowns."
Matt Prater, pre-2009 season: Despised, lambasted, Josh McDaniels is derided for not replacing him.
Matt Prater, post-2009 season: Loved, praised, everone forgets the time when they called Josh McDaniels an idiot for not replacing him.
by Tempestuous Binary on Feb 24, 2010 10:20 PM MST up reply actions
I want to go on record (for legal purposes) saying that I don't want to help you liberate the gold. I'm not prepared for prison.
Off the record…………… I’m in.
If Taylor Swift were to try and tackle me, I'd let her.
PS3 ID: broncomaniac6
by Troy Hufford on Feb 24, 2010 10:28 PM MST up reply actions
Oh, of course... I understand...
cough Awesome! cough
"All by their heads, he places crowns."
Matt Prater, pre-2009 season: Despised, lambasted, Josh McDaniels is derided for not replacing him.
Matt Prater, post-2009 season: Loved, praised, everone forgets the time when they called Josh McDaniels an idiot for not replacing him.
by Tempestuous Binary on Feb 24, 2010 10:41 PM MST up reply actions
With the help of Frank Sinatra and MHR's resident pick pockets.
"All by their heads, he places crowns."
Matt Prater, pre-2009 season: Despised, lambasted, Josh McDaniels is derided for not replacing him.
Matt Prater, post-2009 season: Loved, praised, everone forgets the time when they called Josh McDaniels an idiot for not replacing him.
by Tempestuous Binary on Feb 24, 2010 7:38 PM MST up reply actions
I feel like my brain was just
….oh right…gotta use family friendly terminology……
I feel like my brain was just….touched in bad ways by someone who did not have consent…you know…that R word…..
shakes in the corner murmuring to self
"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
- Thomas Alva Edison
"Success is not a place at which one arrives, but rather... the spirit with which one undertakes and continues the journey."
- Alex Noble
Sorry.
"All by their heads, he places crowns."
Matt Prater, pre-2009 season: Despised, lambasted, Josh McDaniels is derided for not replacing him.
Matt Prater, post-2009 season: Loved, praised, everone forgets the time when they called Josh McDaniels an idiot for not replacing him.
by Tempestuous Binary on Feb 24, 2010 7:38 PM MST up reply actions
I think you covered them all TB
Character may be manifested in the great moments but it is made in the small ones -- Philip Brooks
I think I did, Kirk.
I wanted to provide as much variety as I could.
"All by their heads, he places crowns."
Matt Prater, pre-2009 season: Despised, lambasted, Josh McDaniels is derided for not replacing him.
Matt Prater, post-2009 season: Loved, praised, everone forgets the time when they called Josh McDaniels an idiot for not replacing him.
by Tempestuous Binary on Feb 24, 2010 7:40 PM MST up reply actions
If I give you my address can you send me whatever the hell it is you’re taking? Kthx!
I got a chuckle out of your lunacy, and the jersey’s look OK. Can’t say I’m in love, sorry! Also, my mother (world traveler) is completely obsessed with this jackfruit you speak of. However, I am having trouble getting hold of any, just thought I’d let you know.
Sorry to disappoint you, but I don't take drugs. :p (Anymore.)
Although, I think I need to get TJ or B on the phone, ASAP, because I think I’m beginning to see a pattern here. People keep thinking I’m bonkers… I wonder why…
It’s cool, though, of course you don’t have to like them. She has good reason to be obsessed, it’s really good. You should check out an east-Asian store if you can, because that’s where I find it here.
"All by their heads, he places crowns."
Matt Prater, pre-2009 season: Despised, lambasted, Josh McDaniels is derided for not replacing him.
Matt Prater, post-2009 season: Loved, praised, everone forgets the time when they called Josh McDaniels an idiot for not replacing him.
by Tempestuous Binary on Feb 24, 2010 7:47 PM MST up reply actions
Oh no I’m sure I would love jackfruit, I just can’t find any. South Texas sucks for finding ethnic food other than Mexican, haha.
I’m also pretty upset because I spent 3 weeks on an island in Panama, apparently with jackfruit all over the place, and I didn’t even know about it or see it until I got back in the States.
Oh, and drugs are bad.
Oh, okay, lol.
If you really wanted to, though, I’m sure you could find an online store.
Wow, ouch. I wonder what’s the first thing that popped into your head when you first discovered that!
Yeah. Just ask Mr. Mackey. :p
"All by their heads, he places crowns."
Matt Prater, pre-2009 season: Despised, lambasted, Josh McDaniels is derided for not replacing him.
Matt Prater, post-2009 season: Loved, praised, everone forgets the time when they called Josh McDaniels an idiot for not replacing him.
by Tempestuous Binary on Feb 24, 2010 10:23 PM MST up reply actions
I’m going to see if I can find an Asian market around here too, might try the online jackfruit store too, thanks!
No problem.
Hopefully you get some!
"All by their heads, he places crowns."
Matt Prater, pre-2009 season: Despised, lambasted, Josh McDaniels is derided for not replacing him.
Matt Prater, post-2009 season: Loved, praised, everone forgets the time when they called Josh McDaniels an idiot for not replacing him.
by Tempestuous Binary on Feb 25, 2010 3:59 PM MST up reply actions
I really like the Away Alternate 1.1
Clean, crisp, striking…
-Stick to the fight when you are hardest hit - it's when things seem worst that you must not quit!
Me, too...
Although I think I’m drifting towards the orange helmets there, only because you don’t see them right now (unlike blue ones).
"All by their heads, he places crowns."
Matt Prater, pre-2009 season: Despised, lambasted, Josh McDaniels is derided for not replacing him.
Matt Prater, post-2009 season: Loved, praised, everone forgets the time when they called Josh McDaniels an idiot for not replacing him.
by Tempestuous Binary on Feb 24, 2010 7:49 PM MST up reply actions
Fair enough.
"All by their heads, he places crowns."
Matt Prater, pre-2009 season: Despised, lambasted, Josh McDaniels is derided for not replacing him.
Matt Prater, post-2009 season: Loved, praised, everone forgets the time when they called Josh McDaniels an idiot for not replacing him.
by Tempestuous Binary on Feb 24, 2010 7:49 PM MST up reply actions
How do you know..
.. that the gold is not just a block of frozen solid wee.. generation after generation have journeyed up the mountain and deposited the contents of their bladder into one huge pit..
Not sure how to explain the armed guards but it will come to me!
With the uniform and uni-change rules in the nfl...
I don’t think we’ll see something drastic when it comes to font, basic colors, logo design, or style elements. In fact, I’d say that the 1997 switch to the current unis might be the most drastic uni change in modern NFL history. The Bengals recently got aggressive, but they didn’t swap out their primary team color or change their basic logo/helmet design.
I’d suspect that IF (big fat IF) Denver changes their uni’s, that we’ll either just see a swap to the Orange alternates as our main uni’s or some sort of throwback modernization (kind of like what the Giants and Jets did with their old unis). I’ve posted this before, but I’ll do it again, only because I think it’s realistic, and its what I wish we’d look like if I had my druthers.
I don't know about the '97 switch being the most radical...
The Patriots made a very similar move in adopting their current scheme, even inverting the color scheme to feature dark blue as the primary color. The Bucs made the most radical change, though, completely changing the color scheme and logo.
Yep - the Bucs went radical
you’re right. The Pats did too, but I think Denver’s was more aggressive – we introduced the swooh things and copycat uniforms followed suit for 10 years afterwards.
True
While Tampa Bay mady we a more drastic change in terms of logo and color scheme, they went with a more classic design… That’s probably why their uniforms aren’t as horribly dated as ours are.
Perhaps you're right.
Although, I think if they have a chance, they should just be as ballsy as possible. Even if only for a “test” design to see what they can do.
Eh, I think I should join Velv’s VSS campaign.
"All by their heads, he places crowns."
Matt Prater, pre-2009 season: Despised, lambasted, Josh McDaniels is derided for not replacing him.
Matt Prater, post-2009 season: Loved, praised, everone forgets the time when they called Josh McDaniels an idiot for not replacing him.
by Tempestuous Binary on Feb 24, 2010 7:56 PM MST up reply actions
Come on... do something crazy today!
"All by their heads, he places crowns."
Matt Prater, pre-2009 season: Despised, lambasted, Josh McDaniels is derided for not replacing him.
Matt Prater, post-2009 season: Loved, praised, everone forgets the time when they called Josh McDaniels an idiot for not replacing him.
by Tempestuous Binary on Feb 24, 2010 7:56 PM MST up reply actions
I like the touch o' mustard
It’s a good reminder of the Broncos’ humble origins. Of course, I’ve commented before that I’d like to see the VSS introduced in some form.
I’m not a big fan of the wrap-around stripe on the pants, though.
To be honest, I'm surprised more don't...
I quite liked the idea. And I have to say, we should totally go with the vertically-striped socks.
"All by their heads, he places crowns."
Matt Prater, pre-2009 season: Despised, lambasted, Josh McDaniels is derided for not replacing him.
Matt Prater, post-2009 season: Loved, praised, everone forgets the time when they called Josh McDaniels an idiot for not replacing him.
by Tempestuous Binary on Feb 24, 2010 7:59 PM MST up reply actions 1 recs
you really need to post more binary
+1
Because Montana has no professional sports, I gotta support the land of my birth.
Socrates was once executed for 'trolling'.
^Needs explaining: don't call someone asking uncomfortable, slightly antagonistic questions trolls. In all odds they probably just want to learn. It's real easy to differentiate a 'Socratic' post from a trolling one (unless you're a resident of WCG).
^Needs further explaining: I have yet to post anything on WCG, don't worry, I'm not trying to rationalize anything I've done. I've just lurked over there and man, they are the model of post-peloponnesian war Athens.
I know, but I suck at writing about football during the reloading-season.
I’m still learning the art of player evaluation.
"All by their heads, he places crowns."
Matt Prater, pre-2009 season: Despised, lambasted, Josh McDaniels is derided for not replacing him.
Matt Prater, post-2009 season: Loved, praised, everone forgets the time when they called Josh McDaniels an idiot for not replacing him.
by Tempestuous Binary on Feb 24, 2010 8:00 PM MST up reply actions
That shade of orange...
Is closer to the shade that the Broncos had ordered for their ’62 uniforms. Was that intentional?
Hehe, no...
But maybe I should just get some smarty-pants credits and say yes.
Thanks for the link, though, that was a nice read.
"All by their heads, he places crowns."
Matt Prater, pre-2009 season: Despised, lambasted, Josh McDaniels is derided for not replacing him.
Matt Prater, post-2009 season: Loved, praised, everone forgets the time when they called Josh McDaniels an idiot for not replacing him.
by Tempestuous Binary on Feb 24, 2010 8:05 PM MST up reply actions
rec'd for "sheeplasty"
Great variety of uni’s.
We live in an age when instant gratification isn't fast enough
LOL, I was waiting for someone to comment on that reference.
"All by their heads, he places crowns."
Matt Prater, pre-2009 season: Despised, lambasted, Josh McDaniels is derided for not replacing him.
Matt Prater, post-2009 season: Loved, praised, everone forgets the time when they called Josh McDaniels an idiot for not replacing him.
by Tempestuous Binary on Feb 24, 2010 8:05 PM MST up reply actions
I actually REALLY like the unis you created
But I LOVED the writing! I concur, you need to post more often….
- Nick
"We got 'em right where we want 'em!" - Keith Bishop, right before John Elway orchestrated The Drive. 'Nuff said.
Thanks, man!
It’s good to feel appreciated.
"All by their heads, he places crowns."
Matt Prater, pre-2009 season: Despised, lambasted, Josh McDaniels is derided for not replacing him.
Matt Prater, post-2009 season: Loved, praised, everone forgets the time when they called Josh McDaniels an idiot for not replacing him.
by Tempestuous Binary on Feb 24, 2010 8:06 PM MST up reply actions
No, thank YOU
I actually really like the first one in the list, but I ALSO like the idea of an orange helmet. Decisions, decisions….oh, and HELLS YES to the verty socks! Maybe orange and blue?
- Nick
"We got 'em right where we want 'em!" - Keith Bishop, right before John Elway orchestrated The Drive. 'Nuff said.
Yeah, me too.
Totally! Someone should photoshop the mustard unis just to see what it’d look like.
"All by their heads, he places crowns."
Matt Prater, pre-2009 season: Despised, lambasted, Josh McDaniels is derided for not replacing him.
Matt Prater, post-2009 season: Loved, praised, everone forgets the time when they called Josh McDaniels an idiot for not replacing him.
by Tempestuous Binary on Feb 24, 2010 8:50 PM MST up reply actions
This
We live in an age when instant gratification isn't fast enough
by Brian Shrout on Feb 24, 2010 10:02 PM MST up reply actions
Hahaha, me too.
Blue is boring :p
"All by their heads, he places crowns."
Matt Prater, pre-2009 season: Despised, lambasted, Josh McDaniels is derided for not replacing him.
Matt Prater, post-2009 season: Loved, praised, everone forgets the time when they called Josh McDaniels an idiot for not replacing him.
by Tempestuous Binary on Feb 24, 2010 8:06 PM MST up reply actions
Great jerseys....... great post.
+1
If Taylor Swift were to try and tackle me, I'd let her.
PS3 ID: broncomaniac6
Thanks, KB.
"All by their heads, he places crowns."
Matt Prater, pre-2009 season: Despised, lambasted, Josh McDaniels is derided for not replacing him.
Matt Prater, post-2009 season: Loved, praised, everone forgets the time when they called Josh McDaniels an idiot for not replacing him.
by Tempestuous Binary on Feb 24, 2010 8:06 PM MST up reply actions
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