How to Scout Players and Mock the Draft

(This is not serious, if you don't like non-serious posts stop reading)

Let me start off by saying I love reading everyone's mock drafts and I get so much information about different players that I haven't heard about from other sources.  Everyone does an incredible job, especially Jeremy and Sayre.  I thought I would give everyone a little guide on how to write good scouting reports on individual players as well as creating a good mock draft.  Here are some simple rules to follow after the jump. 

RULE #1: If a player is White, please only compare him to other White players.  For example, Riley Cooper must be compared to Ed McCaffrey.  We don't want to create confusion.  This is reverse for the quarterback position.  If they are a Black quarterback and can run please compare them with Michael Vick.  If they are not as athletic go with Jason Campbell.  However, it is okay to compare any horribly strong armed dreadful quarterback with Jamarcus Russell.  I.e. Ryan Leaf is just like Jamarcus Russell. 

Rule #2: If a player isn't very talented but you like them anyway make sure you mention the word intangibles several times.  Best if you do it in a John Gruden Voice "I'll tell you THIS GUY has got great intangibles."

Rule #3: To go along with intangibles if a defensive player is able to make plays but does not measure very fast or strong at the combine make sure you describe the player as having an "endless motor."

Rule #4: If a quarterback lacks ideal arm strength but they are still high on your list don't put weak arm. Instead write "he throws a catchable ball" Matt Hasselbeck throws a catchable ball. 

Rule #5: Any player who ever got a traffic warning should be listed as a character concern.  This is because all Pro Scouts never made any mistakes between the ages of 18-22. 

Rule #6: The best players twitter often.  Shawne Merriman, Shaun Phillips, oh wait, these are the best criminals. 

Rule #7: If a player played in a spread offense please deduct at least six points from their ranking.  Nevermind that had John Elway played in this day and age he would have been well suited for a spread option attack. 

Rule #8: Just for fun, base a mock draft off of cool sounding names.  It might actually work-think Nnamdi Asomugha.  Here is a 7 round mock with awesome names

Round 1-Ndamokung Suh DT Nebraska

Round 2- Vladimir Ducasse G/T UMass

Round 3- Akwasi Awusu-Ansah (Best Name of Draft) CB IUP

Round 4-Roddrick Muckelroy OLB Texas

Round 5-Zane Beadles G Utah

Round 6- LaGarrette Blount (Think of the potential nicknames here like Blount Force Trauma to the Head-Too Far?? Sorry) RB Oregon

Round 7-Seyi Ajirotutu WR Fresno State

Holy Crap that draft isn't horrible! I might be on to something here. 

Rule #9 Remember Division I-AA, Division II and Division III players don't amount to much.  You know guys like, John Mobley, Vincent Jackson, Pierre Garcon, Kurt Warner, Aaron Smith etc.  

Rule #10: Whatever happens draft day make sure you immediately put a grade on it, because it's pretty obvious whilch players will work out from the get go.  Just take a look at these immediate post draft reports

"Tom Brady QB Michigan Sixth Round: Brady has great intangibles and intelligence.  Probably will lead his team to at least 3 Super Bowls and be a future hall of famer.  Patriots are genius for drafting him.  Who did they draft in the fifth round again?

"Rod Smith WR Southern Missouri: Former quarterback went undrafted and was signed by Broncos.  Will however, set every Broncos recieving record and also be a pillar in the community.  Can't catch or run routes though to be a regulary NFL starter.  What a waste of Free Agency Broncos!

"Terrell Davis RB Georgia: Garrison Hearst he is not.  Lacks straight line speed.  Special teams contributer at best.  Probably will make an impact overseas though, say maybe in a Japanese league or something."

Most of all and have fun.  Don't spend too much time tearing down the reasons why someone's mock draft won't work.  The truth is we don't know what scenario's will come up but it's fun to think of different angles. 

Have a great Super Bowl Weekend everyone.