It's time for another edition of The MF Story.
In previous MF stories, our very own Josh McDaniels has been hiring and firing people, while learning Jedi mind tricks, stealing credit cards, and playing Madden Ultimate team. If you are behind on the MF story, here is part 1 and here is part 2.
In today's MF story, after a long OTA workout, Josh McDaniels takes a few of the guys (Dawk, Doom and Champ) out for a movie, while talking about the NFL draft. Don't worry, McD doesn't discriminate against his players and take his favorites, he just takes them three at a time because 4 people at the movies makes a good group. Anyways......
(Dawk, Champ, Doom and McD enter the movie theater and get in line to buy tickets.)
McD - Guys, thanks for coming to this MF movie with me. I just can't thank you guys enough for winning some MF games with me, last season."
Doom - "No problem, coach. I even changed positions for you. If you wanted me to play kicker, I'd do it."
McD - "That's awesome. Would you be our punter?"
Doom - "Well..... I don't know.......I'd have to think about it."
McD - "Great. Let me know when you decide. I'm looking for a new MF punter in the offseason."
Champ - "Oh yeah? Who are you looking at? Can you give us some specifics?"
McD - "Well, there's this guy in the draft named Zoltan."
Champ - "......... who?"
McD - "Yeah, there's this punter named Zoltan. I've been researching him, quite a bit, lately. He's a great World of Warcraft player, I'm 87% sure that he's a robot and I hear that he knows how to do some jedi mindtricks, too. But seriously, with a name like Zoltan, that's to be expected, right?"
Champ - "Well, is he a good punter?"
McD - "Champ, please.... he's basically a robot. Of course, he'll be good."
Dawk - "Well, when the Broncos go on the clock and Zoltan is available, you should TAKE IT.........."
McD - "Thanks, Dawk. That means a lot coming from you. So, guys, what movie do you want to watch?"
Doom - "What about Batman? I hear Heath Ledger is amazing as the Joker."
Champ - "Doom, that movie hasn't been in theaters since you were a defensive lineman......."
Dawk - "Maybe we could watch that dragon movie?"
Doom - "Avatar?"
Dawk - "No, I'm talking about the one about the little kid who trains his dragon."
McD - "How to Train Your Dragon? I already watched that one. I was trying to teach Al Davis how to behave and I figured that movie could give me some tips. He's all wrinkly, like a dragon, so I figured it would work, the same way. I just can't get that old devil to take his heart worm medicine. It's tragic, really. He's going to be 8, next month. You know..... in demon years."
Champ - "They just grow up so fast....."
Dawk - "Anybody want to watch Clash of the Titans? That sounds like a football movie. Did NFL Films make it?"
Doom - "I don't know, but let's watch it and see."
(Everyone buys their ticket, except for Champ, who intercepts his ticket away from the high school kid at the counter)
McD - "Who wants some MF popcorn?"
(Dawk, Doom and Champ yell "ME", so everyone gets in the concessions line.)
Dawk - "So, coach, who are we going to draft in the first round?"
McD - "I already drafted in the first round, Dawk."
Champ - "We aren't talking about your Madden franchise draft, coach. We talked about that, in the car, already. Let's talk about the real draft."
McD - "Oh.... never mind. I don't know that information, guys. Brian Xanders won't give me back my war room key after I painted a MF picture of Brady Quinn on his office wall."
Doom - "Wow......... why did you do that?"
McD - "Well, trading for Brady Quinn was Brian's idea, and his office needed decorating, so I thought...... MURAL!!! Who wants white walls, anyways?"
Doom - "Isn't Brian Xanders allergic to the latex in paint?"
McD - "I don't know, but he sure did storm out of the room, pretty quickly, when he saw it. I thought I did well. It took me like two hours to finish the shading for his abs."
(Champ puts a handful of popcorn in his mouth)
Dawk - "Champ, where did you get that popcorn from?"
Champ - "I intercepted it about 5 minutes ago. You didn't notice? I have already eaten 2 buckets of it."
Dawk - "TAKE IT......."
Doom - "If you can intercept so many things without us noticing, why didn't you have 12 interceptions last season?"
Champ - "I had way more than 12 interceptions, last year, Doom. I just intercepted the ball so much that I felt bad about it, so I gave the ball back to the QB and told him to try again, but you sacked them before they could."
Doom - "Oh...... That makes sense. I always wondered what caused that breeze before each of my sacks........ whoa, why is there popcorn in my hands?"
Dawk - "Yeah, there's popcorn in my hands, too....."
Champ - "It's the offseason, guys. I gotta intercept something...."
Dawk - "TAKE IT........"
Doom - "Most people call that stealing, Champ. Don't you feel guilty?"
Champ - "Doom, please..... I own this MF movie theater. Don't worry about it."
McD - "Don't intercept my MF catchphrase, Champ."
Champ - "Sorry coach."
McD - "It's okay.... So, now that Champ has intercepted us all some popcorn, let's go watch this MF movie."
(They walk toward the theater door.)
Dawk - "TAKE IT........"
Doom - "Take what?"
Dawk - ".........I don't know. I just like saying it.........."