(I know KentuckyBronco does the MF stories around here, but I'm sure he's got plenty cooking in the oven, and I just couldn't resist. )
This just in, the script from Tim Tebows acceptance call from Josh McDaniels.
The phone rings, area code 303, Tim picks up: "Hello?"
The phone: .... *arguments in the background*
Tim again: ".... Hello?"
McDaniels: "Hey Tim, hold on a MF second..."
Tim: "Sure, no problem; but if you wanted me to hold on, couldn't you have called me when you were finished?"
McD: "Nope, those idiots up at NFLN require us to call you guys and stay on the phone for like five MF minutes... you know, so the analysts have time to explain why they mispredicted who we were going to pick."
Tim: "I see."
McD: *in the background* "Brian, stop changing the MF board everytime i'm on the phone! We're trying to build a MF team here! Hey Tim, you still there?"
McD: "I talked to the Commish about the whole 'Big Ben' situation and he decided to offer a possible 4-game suspension instead of 6. So the Steelers weren't scared enough to go and draft you, but figured they'd better draft some O-line to protect their non-mobile backup QB's."
Tim: "That's awesome Mr. McDaniels."
McD: "Yeah, yeah, yeah, I wasn't finished talking."
Tim: "Oh. Sorry."
McD: "Its a good MF thing too.. cause I would have had to call Miami and tell them we were just kidding about trading Brandon Marshall. By the way... do you HAVE to have #15? Cause I mean, i've got no problems with bringing him back."
Tim: "Didn't you already trade away one of the picks you got for him to draft me??"
McD: "Yeah, but it doesn't matter man, it's 'Indian-giving'."
Tim: "No, 'Indian-giving' is just backing out of a deal thats already been made. When you just take what you gave somebody and keep what you got too, that's called 'Debowing'."
McD: "Doesn't matter, 'indian-giving' or 'tebowing', i'll do whatever it takes to win MF games man."
Tim: Not 'tebowing', 'de-bowing'."
McD: "Wait, your name is Tim Debow?"
Tim: "No. It's Tebow."
McD: "Xanders, knock it off! BDawk go take that MF marker from him. *further in the background Brian Dawkins is heard yelling: 'TAKE IT!' Look Tim, I don't have time for word games. Do you want to come win MF games with us or what?"
Tim: "Yeah. I'll do whatever it takes."
McD: "Good. Has it been five minutes yet?"
Tim: "67 more seconds."
McD: "Seriously? Wow. Have you been counting the seconds in the background this whole time while also listening intently to my every MF word??"
Tim stops looking at his watch: "Uhh... yeah. Of course."
McD talks in an annoyingly loud voice in the direction of Xanders: "Awesome, I knew you were the right choice!"
McD: "You're MF welcome. Oh... and if any of those MF guys from the MSM ask you about our conversation, just make up a bunch of random crap that sounds good; that's what I do everytime the put their nose in my MF business."
Tim: "All right Coach. Thanks again."
McD: "Yeah, yeah, yeah, no MF problem; but I gotta go. I have a feeling somebody's listening in on this conversation.
Tim: "Me too..."