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The Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

We may not have ALL experienced her....she may not always have held the title of girlfriend.....Flings.....one night stands....and party mistakes also fall into this category on a shockingly common basis.

No I'm not talking about that itch the next day....or those awkward mornings or even the walk of shame......

What I'm referring to is: That one that thought YOU were the one....but you want nothing else to do with her. (yes ladies this works both ways but I'm WAY too lazy to type everything twice so please just switch genders where necessary)

Now what is one thing a Crazy Ex may push  you to feel like doing?

JUMP!!!!!

(Welcome back to my world friends and lemmings)

I bring us once again to meanderings of too much caffeine, and way too many hours in the office....of course since its only Monday I would say extreme boredom, and already setting enough client meetings to not care about the rest of the day play a factor in today's pointless meanderings, and mindless ramblings.....(maybe I should make that the title)

So...Back to the Ex-Girlfriend....and in this episode is also called THE STALKER!!!!  Let me explain what I mean.

THE STALKER - in this instance does not necessarily JUST refer to those that spend their time following you around, trying to get a whiff of your cologne, and a lock of your hair. Its also that girl that you have a CRAZY night or relationship with (in this sentence CRAZY means AMAZING usually). But the next day...or the next month, year, eon..what have you....you realize she just isn't the one you would like to spend ANY more time with...Harsh I know, but rather common.

This girl may still be friends with you, though often she is not. She is the girl who still THINKS you two are a couple, even if you have told her MULTIPLE times that it is not going to be. She starts to assume things, and read deeper into everything you say. This leads to mis-information, and often leads to rumors beginning to fly about you. If you say "I went out to a bar last night" she hears "I went out and slept with every girl on the planet except for you last night". 

Often she will try to create something out of nothing....i.e. asking questions and filling in the answers before you have time to speak. "I hung out with Sara" becomes "Sara and I are together, and you (crazy stalker ex) will never be happy with anyone because I'm not with you".

Its a tough world we live in. Its not always fun....but now that we've all had a chance to relive some memories we wish we never had to re-live....(I'm actually living IN this world right now, it really is rather annoying) I will bring you to the POINT of this post. 

Who, in our lives, are constantly searching for SOMETHING to blow up about. Who is ALWAYS trying to infer something from nothing. Who is Amost ALWAYS assuming their own answers to questions we (or the people they are asking) have not even attempted to answer yet?  I mean come on....the Stalker Ex....is seriously similar to.....

 

(Ominous BUM BUM BAAAAAHHHHHHH! and chipmunk turn to look video!)

 

THE MSM!!!!

I have decided that today's MSM (only because I don't remember the MSM before I was born and therefore only have an opinion on the MSM of my lifetime) is similar to the Crazy Ex.

Example Number ONE.......Elvis Dumerville is a Brown...but is now signing with Denver.  This genious piece of writing screams rediculousness. A. the writer obviously could care less about all the facts. B. the writer CLEARLY wants to be part of the drama...and in fact create some of their own... C. Did this writer wait for an answer to their question?  NO!!!  This writer asked a question and spat out an answer that was what they wanted to hear before even listening for a response.

There are some ex girlfriends with whom you can be friends with. Some that you can even stay friends for the rest of your life with....though I've not met them. But when it all comes down to it....the MSM is the Drama seeking, Stalkerish, Assuming, questioning, paranoid Ex Girlfriend most of us wish we could have avoided.

Unfortunately the MSM is also the Crazy Ex that runs in the same cirlce with all of our closest friends. (in this case its sports...Mans lifelong friend and second best friend to Dog.)

I am tired of the MSM making rash accusations....in fact if the MSM had stayed out of our hair...and not been making a big deal of EVERY LITTLE THING WE DID THAT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THEM we would probably still have Cutler.....well crud....I guess that is the EXCEPTION to the rule then..........bad example........

Well even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in a while.

But come on....I really am too lazy to go about and find all the rediculous articles that obviously solidify my point, but I think we all know the ones I'm talking about. Mel Kiper, BTW, is probably the Craziest Ex-Girlfriend EVER!!! I'll bet this guy stalks all the girls he has ever met and does to them what he does to the draft.  Caroline is going to the BAR?! she's rated as a 2nd drinker tonight, lets see if any guys pick her up before the 2nd round! I mean come on...isn't he the one that said we would have to have our beer goggles on to pick Tebow? (thats 4 drinks down for those who are not following the poor analogy.)

I mean WOW! what a DB this guy is to pass judgment on people regarding something he has no personal experience in WHATSOEVER!!!!

 

Ok well I'm satisfied that my point has been made, and that I've sufficiently wasted enough of someone's time to get flamed....but I want everyone to take away from this that the Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is not something we are unable to escape. In fact its rather easy to avoid her on the majority of occasions. While she may not be threatening us, so we cannot get a restraining order.....she is avoidable by keeping quality friends and girls around....in this example I mean MHR.

So this beer is to you MHR (no I'm not actually drinking at the office) Thank you for being the grounded, normal relationship every guy needs in his life.

This is a Fan-Created Comment on MileHighReport.com. The opinion here is not necessarily shared by the editorial staff of MHR

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