FanPost

Tim Tebow to die in less than a week (not serious, in case you couldn't tell)

Denver Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow has long been known for his outstanding work ethic. Now he has apparently decided that there is not a place on Earth that allows him to work as hard as he can.

In a surprise move, Tebow has announced that he will willingly be killed this Friday in order to train in the ten-times gravity of King Kai's planet in Otherworld. 

"I feel that training with King Kai is the only way I can bring out my full potential and talent," said Tebow on Monday. "I can't physically train as hard as I would like to on Earth, and I feel blessed to have this opportunity to make myself into the best quarterback I can possibly be."

This of course means that Tebow will be unavailable for the 2010 NFL season, in which Tebow was primarily expected to appear in special goal-line packages and some "wild horses" plays. Coach Josh McDaniels, however, is excited about the opportunity for his star rookie to power up for when he is ready to actually start for the Broncos. Said McDaniels, "I'm excited for Timmy's opportunity. Obviously, we were excited to have him around for this season, but in the long run we feel that it is best for him to attain as much power in the early stages as he possibly can. We hope that he can come back next year as one of the most powerful quarterbacks in the NFL."

McDaniels also acknowledged that in order to bring Tebow back for 2011, he will first have to bring together all seven Dragonballs and wish his QB back to life. "We have the two and four-star balls in our possession and three of the other balls are accounted for. At the rate we have been finding them, we feel that we can easily acquire the other two balls before we open training camp in 2011."

It might not be that easy, however. An unnamed NFL source close to the Broncos told the associated press earlier today that "Josh McDaniels has done some dumb things as Denver head coach, but this one tops them all. You don't just kill your future franchise quarterback without knowing for sure that he can be brought back to life. It's a quarterback-driven league, and this move could seriously upset the balance of that position for many years in Denver. This is obviously the kind of thing that McDaniels' future in the NFL as a head coach hinges upon."

If the move pans out, Tebow could become the strongest quarterback to ever play in the NFL, if he wasn't close already (Tebow's power level of 682 was already high for a human). If it doesn't... we don't want to think about what will become of McDaniels.

 

As for the actual training, Tebow will begin after passing a test administered by King Yemma to get into Heaven (who honestly expects him to fail that?) and traversing the one-million-mile Snake Way that leads to King Kai's planet. Said planet is extremely small but provides an excellent setting for training: its gravitational pull is about ten times that of Tebow's home planet Earth. Tebow won't have only the gravity to deal with, though; it has long been rumored that the first task of King Kai's training is to tell him a joke that makes him laugh, and this is followed by having to catch a monkey and hit a grasshopper with a hammer.

Once his training is complete, Tebow will have to cross Snake Way once more and then join his team for training camp next August.

This is a Fan-Created Comment on MileHighReport.com. The opinion here is not necessarily shared by the editorial staff of MHR

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