If the Broncos were no more...


Like most of the people who frequent MHR I Love me some Broncos.  I visit this site 3 to 4 times a day to get the latest info, read articles, read comments etc.  I do this at all times of the year as well.  Even at times of the year when almost nothing is going on NFL wise, like the month of March and the few weeks leading up to training camp.  I can't get enough Broncos news.  After the loss to the Jags for a few minutes I was, lets just say, "a little upset".  In my mind (for a brief moment) I was ready to give up on the Broncos for the rest of the season.  I went so far as to begin to try to figure out in my head what team I was now going to start rooting for.  These thoughts passed of course, and I only went through about 5-7 teams in my head before I decided this was silly.  But later I started to think more about it.  What NFL team would I root for if the Broncos were no more?  The Football season is too long and too much fun not to have a favorite team.  Who would I root for if I couldn't root for the Broncos?  Say they took a year off from the league and I had to pull for someone else.  Hmmmm (rubbing my chin).

What I have to do here is a complete 180 from how I have been thinking football wise for the past 30 or so years.  It may be strange, but I have never had a second favorite team.  During football conversations I have been asked who I like besides the Broncos and have never really had an answer.  I have liked (tolerated) other teams in the past or have a fleeting interest in them for some reason or another, but I have never really liked any other team.  When I watch non-Bronco NFL games I find myself simply pulling for the underdogs or whoever is playing against the Raiders.  If the team that I am temporarily pulling for wins then I think..hey great that was cool, if they lose then I think...awe bummer and then change the channel to something else.  In other words it doesn't affect me one way or the other. 

I realize that all of my observations of other NFL teams are based upon the admittedly little I know about them vs. the Broncos.  But, I do keep pretty up to date with what is going on around the league.  I further realize that although I am going to try to be impartial, I still see all other teams through whatever the opposite of rose colored glasses is.  Furthermore, I can't really define the things I am looking for in a team, but I can certainly define the things I am not. 

Ok, here goes...the Broncos are no longer an NFL franchise, and now my favorite team is...

To begin with, I don't like "me first" guys.  Consequently, I don't like the teams that support me first guys.  What I mean is, its one thing to have me first guys on your team (this is unfortunately unavoidable for the most part these days), but when they become a distraction and nothing is done about it, or it is encouraged to some extent, then I couldn't possibly support this team. I have too much love for sportsmanship.  Right off the bat this knocks off the Cowboys due to Owens and Michael Irving from the past (plus many others).  This also knocks off the Ravens due to Ray Lewis (I wanted to puke when I saw his Super Bowl XXXV introduction dance..what a self serving idiot).  I will not even get into his past legal issues.  It also knocks off the Bengals for Chad Johnson (yes Johnson) and the Patriots for Moss.

I didn't and won't even consider any teams in the AFC bubye Chiefs, Chargers and Raiders.  I could literally write a book on how much I dislike the Raiders.  I know there are laws against profiling, but if I were a cop I would arrest every person I saw with Raiders gear on. I guarantee they are all wanted for something.

What about our old divisional foes, the Seahawks. Well right away, since they competed against us in our division at one time that disqualifies them.  Add in the fact that they wear the ugliest green colored uniforms (starting to sound like my wife) I have ever seen, I could not bring myself to root for them.  What color exactly are those uniforms and the trim?  Teal and Sea foam? What?

Much like not being able to pull for any team that has been in the same division with the Broncos, I cannot support any team that has beaten them in the Super Bowl. Period.  Adios Cowboys, Redskins, 49ers and Giants (I did pull for them to beat the Patriots in the Super Bowl a few years back but that was due to my distain for the Patriots).

I'm glad Bowlen didn't higher Rex Ryan a few years back.  From what I have seen of him he is a total meathead (admittedly if I was 22 and hanging out at a bar he'd be fun to have around).  This guy is just too over the top, his mouth is writing checks the Jets can't cash. Speaking of meatheads this is also the reason I don't like the Steelers (former coach Cower) and add another check mark in the distain column for the Ravens due to there former meathead coach Brian Billick.  Back to the Steelers for a second, its time to pony up and put your logo on both sides of your helmet. It might have been "cool" or "different" at one time but now it's just annoying.

Speaking of helmets, that brings me to the Browns, the only team with no logo on their helmets.  According Wikipedia, "the franchise conducted a team naming contest in 1945. The most popular submission was "Browns" in recognition of Paul Brown, already an established and popular figure in Ohio sports".  He was also the current coach and GM of the franchise.  Really?  People voted for this name?  Nope, can't support this team.

Hey, I never said my arguments were going to make sense and be well thought out.  They are simply about my capacity to root for said team based upon my shallow observations.

Then there's the Lovable Losers: the Lions and the Buccaneers (yes, I realize they won the Super Bowl a few years ago...matters not, one good year does not a good franchise make).  These poor teams, these poor cities.  Try as they might they just keep failing.  You can't be this bad for this long.  You pull for them for so long, you support them, you cajole and encourage, nurture them, defend them and they just keep losing.  I am so tired of seeing the Lions every Thanksgiving.  They are second tier teams.  I can't root for a second tier team.  It's not funny or cute anymore..its just plane sad!  You can add Buffalo in this category too, even with the four Super Bowl appearances.  They're not loveable any more just losers!  Heck, while we're at it let's go ahead and put the Panthers here too.  I know there still a young franchise but they are still losers.  Plus, I want a team with some history.  I have underwear older than the Panthers.  Seriously.

Last summer I was Sockeye Salmon fishing in Alaska.  I waded out into the river and had the perfect spot, at a bend in the river where the water is deep in a 5 foot troth area surrounded by the shallows that the fish don't like.  They are just moving through this shoot one after another.   I catch one, walk to the boat to unhook it and re-bate my hook.  When I get back some guy is fishing in my spot, I was gone 2 minutes, of all the nerve, the Kenai River spans 82 miles and this guy picks my special spot to stand in.  As I am glaring at him under his glasses and hat I notice that there is something familiar about his face.  I study him from a distance and then it hits me.  It's Brad Childress, coach of the Vikings.  Brad stinking Childress stole my prime fishing spot.  I couldn't believe it.  Then I glanced at his buddy to see if he could pick up on my laser beam eyes and perhaps inform his buddy Brad that it's not wise to steal another mans fishing spot and I recognized him too.  Andy frickin Reid, coach of the Eagles.  They both pretended like they didn't see me and ignored me.  I KNOW YOU SAW ME CHILDRESS!  YOU TO REID!  Shame befall you...shame I say!! 

Bears...three words.  Super Bowl Shuffle. Nuff said.  Titans...three more words.  Chris Johnson's Grill. 

Every time I picture a Packers fan I think of the movie Fargo.  "Think I'll go to the maaket n get some soooda".  Too cold, no real town to speak of, not close to anything.

Last year 5 teams had local TV blackouts because they couldn't sell out their own stadiums.  Talking to you Jags, Lions, Chiefs (yes they had one blackout in 2009), Raiders (dah) and Rams.  These teams, plus according to news reports, the Cardinals, Bengals and Chargers, could face blackouts this season.  Why would I throw my support behind you all the way from Colorado when you can't even find enough people in your own city to fill your stadium? 

I can't wrap my head around watching football in a dome or stadium with a closed retractable roof.  It just doesn't seem right.  It doesn't feel natural.  I'm no meathead (see how I came back to this term only to use it in the opposite way) but it just seems somehow weak or pansyesque to me.   I've played sports all my life and something is lacking when the outside elements are blocked or for lack of a better word, sanitized.  Sorry... Saints, Rams, Falcons (the dirty bird dance has to go down as the all time worst touchdown celebrations of all time), Vikings, Lions, Texans, Cardinals (what a pretty little red bird), Colts and Cowboys.

I can't put my finger on it, but I just can't root for the Dolphins.  Maybe it's because Dan Marino is sometimes compared to Elway when it comes to the greatest quarterbacks.  Maybe it's Marino in those dumb glove commercials.  Maybe it's the perfect season morons drinking champagne every year after the last undefeated team gets beat.  Probably all of the above.

So who does that leave?  Hmmm (rubbing my chin again).  What's the name of that new football league?  The UFL or something like that.

This is a Fan-Created Comment on The opinion here is not necessarily shared by the editorial staff of MHR

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