As in, I am extremely sick and feel like Phyllis Rivers did after the game. Awful.
So there's my built-in excuse; if I sound even more discombobulated and random than usual, it's because I feel like crud and barely remember my own name. But since I can't force myself to sleep any longer, I figured I'd put fingies to keyboard and throw down some thoughts.
Von the Don... Von the Vindicator... Von the Voluptuous... Von the Vagabond... Von the Vampire...
Von the Vanquisher? Good golly, this guy is damn near impossible to affix with a nickname. All I know is, "Miller Time" sucks, and I hate it. Comparing our monster rookie to a piss poor beer slogan is not only degrading to him, but to our abilities as a fan base to come up with nicknames. Please, MHR, let's be the harbingers of good and come up with something suitable for him, and make that dang thing stick!
I'm kind of partial to "The Vampire". As in, he sucks all the life out of the opposing quarterback... and he's very scary. Vampires are kind of overdone these days though, so it has that working against it.
Anyways, I just felt the need to brag on Von Miller some more. At this point, I don't think there is another player in the league I would trade for him straight up. And I'm serious about that. If you told me we could trade Von Miller for Tom Brady right now, I'd say "meh", and then go buy my Miller jersey. A young Tom Brady or Peyton? Absolutely. At their age right now? Negative. If you told me we could trade Miller for the #1 pick in the upcoming draft so we could get Luck... I'd say, "Good luck with that!", and go buy my dog a Von the Valorous jersey as well.
I think this guy is special, transcendent, even. I think he even outdoes the "once in a generation" tagline. I think he's a "once in the history of the league" type of talent. I will be completely unsurprised if his name is mentioned in the same breath as Lawrence Taylor, Dick Butkus, and all the other greats as one of the best defenders to ever play the game.
This guy is such an amazing combination of power, speed, smarts, football drive, and everything else that I am more pumped for him being a Bronco than any other player, ever. He makes plays that I've never seen be made. Remember the one from last Sunday where he was double teamed by two guys, split the double team and made the tackle, looking fluid as hell and like it was as easy as pie (pecan)? I don't know who else makes that play. Or the spin move sack? Freeney is the only other who does things like that. And as sublime as his pass-rushing and ability to stop the run is, let's remember that this guy can operate in space too. Remember when he was 30 yards down the field making that tackle that a safety should have made? Yep, that's once in a lifetime talent, for sure. Or when he popped Rivers right before he threw and the ball squirted 20 yards downfield? I watched Von hit Rivers, then the camera angle followed the ball downfield... as you could hear the whistles blowing for an incomplete pass, and about 1.5 seconds after the hit, Von came back into the frame, picked the ball up, and started running for the end zone. Again, the play was whistled dead, but how awesome is it when your pass rusher gets to the QB in the blink of an eye, knocks the ball out, and then gets back to the ball before anyone else even thinks of doing the same? Extremely awesome, that's what.
Allrighty, I'm done fawning (Vonning) over him. I'm probably over-reacting to a small sample size, but I really feel like this guy is the walking return of the Orange Crush, and with Doom opposite him, I couldn't be more giddy for the next decade of Broncos football.
Chill out on Champ
So I've been seeing a good amount of unnappreciation (is this a word? I don't think so, but only Webster knows) for Champ lately, and it's pretty annoying.
Here's the reception totals by the guys Champ has been covering over the last 3 weeks:
Dwayne Bowe - 2 catches - 17 yards
Santonio Holmes - 4 catches - 39 yards
Vincent Jackson - 2 catches - 25 yards
Man, that really sucks. He is slipping. Let's get rid of him, pronto! Or better yet, move him to safety where he'll magically reinvigorate his career because of a position switch. SCHWATTT?!?! Also, notice how I didn't write the word "touchdown) in those stats. I'm not very good at math, but I think I've got this covered. So, over 3 games, covering three pretty damn good receivers (and usually by himself with little help), Champ gave up 8 catches for 81 yards and 0 touchdowns. I've got my torch and pitchfork ready to storm the castle and get rid of this guy, are you with me?
I'm not saying we don't need to prepare for the future without Champ, because we do. All I'm saying is, this guy is still one of the best, and we should appreciate him for 1. Staying with us when we had the worst D in the history of the world, and 2. still being a super cool cat who covers receivers better than Rosie O'Donnell covers a Thanksgiving platter.
Oh, and here's a sidenote: I realize he gave up at least 1 catch to other receivers during this span, the only one I can remember is to that good-looking rookie from SD, Brown. That was a preemptive strike for all you haters out there. :)
Random Luff Notes:
2. Willis - Do your thing, big guy. Your bigger, stronger, faster, and just plain betterer than I ever thought possible. The way you carry a pile of 6 fat guys 5 yards downfield is like pure ass poetry. It's like a superpower. I think he's from Krypton, and he's Supermans long lost cousin, but the only super powers he got was the ability to carry a bunch of dudes on his back while he's running forward with a ball made of leather. I bet he wishes he had laser vision and was indestructible and all, but I'll take it.
3. Tebow - Y'all know I try to avoid talking about subjects that are beaten to death around here, but I have to show him some love. His running skills and vision while running are second to no one. Top-friggin'-notch. You've been throwing some Olivia Wilde pretty passes lately too, let's just do that more often and with more consistency, and we'll be rioting in the streets of Denver sooner rather than later.
4. Fox/McCoy - I really get myself in a tizzy over game management and offensive play-calling sometimes, but kudos to you two for putting together gameplans that fit your players perfectly, and that keep us in the game. If we could just not do that "run into a pile on first down, run into a pile on second down, run into a pile on third down, punt" thing any more, that would be great. Especially when we have momentum and a momentous defense behind us. Kthx.
5. DA - I refuse to write your name on here, because I don't want to give you any more exposure than is absolutely necessary for fear of you being poached as a head coach by another team. Hopefully, the fact that you've only held your current title for one year will keep you around for a while. But seriously, your game plans, your aggression, your play calling... I love it all. I officially have a man-crush on you.
6. Orlando Franklin - Your hustle when you ran down that fumble was awe-inspiring. I'm not sure if you'll be able to stick at right tackle due to a lack of apparent foot speed in pass protection, but you'll pretty much always be on my good side because of that one play. A for effort, and all that.
7. Zane Beadles - You've been nothing but good during this run of good play we've been having, and it's time you got some props. I think you're one of the best pulling guards in the league right now. Keep up the good work, I'd go to battle with you any day.
8. DJ - I am now convinced that you've been body-snatched. Mind-Snatched, at least. Seriously, you're like a whole new hombre out there. You're mean, you're faster, you're stronger, you're in position. That hit you administered to that poor sucker near the goal line was bonerific. Keep it up!
Dearest Vikings and Viking followers: You're not ready for this.
I'm probably just getting cocky without merit... but this should be our first comfortable win of the Tebow era since we smashed Oakland in their penitentiary. Remember that one, when they collectively dropped the soap?
Without Adrian Peterson, I don't think this Minnesota offense stands much of a chance to do anything. Christian Ponder will probably be pondering a new line of work after the DummerMill have chewed him up and spit him out. Phil Loadholt against Von Miller? Muahahahahahahaha!!!!! That's a dream matchup if I've ever seen one. His big ass won't know what hit him. They'll probably keep a tight end on that side to help him deal with Vons' speed, or chip him with a back.... but guess who that leaves free on the other side?
The matchup isn't quite as sexy on the other side of the ball, but when has that stopped us before? This Vikings D is (as always) fairly formidable against the run, and apparently pretty bad against the pass. In my eyes, this is the perfect opportunity to let Tebow take to the air. 30 passes or more sounds just about right. We are, of course, going to run the ball a fair amount, but I'd like to see a steady dose of play action with some quick slants and comeback routes thrown in. I'd also like to see the near invisible Demaryius Thomas get some more looks. There's no reason a guy of his size and talent shouldn't be able to dominate some pretty bad corners in this one. Let's get after it boys!
What should we nickname Von?
Von the Vampire (6 votes)
Von the Vanquisher (16 votes)
Von the Vapid (2 votes)
Von the Don (15 votes)
None of the above. You suck at nicknames, and I am officially dumber for having read your suggestions. I will suggest my own in the comments below. (139 votes)
178 total votes