FanPost

If They Were Food -- NFL Power Rankings -- Week 4, 2011


Power rankings aren't worth a whole lot if you can't at least get a laugh out of it. But what if the laughs were intentional? Orange Rush tries to explore this question with his second annual batch of food power rankings.

 

(If the Redskins beat the Cowboys on Monday Night Football, I'll probably switch their rankings. Try not to get too hung up on the ranks, though, and enjoy yourself a little.)

2010 Week 7 Rankings

 

Rank

Team

Food

Commentary

1

Green Bay Packers

Butter

It's buttah!

2

Detroit Lions

Soul food

Hard times and suffering have turned into a filling, feel-good meal.

3

New Orleans Saints

Ci Ci's Pizza

Their production outlasts a host of guests determined to take them down.

4

Buffalo Bills

Meringue pie

In your face.

5

New England Patriots

Pizza

You can't win when you turn it over.

6

Baltimore Ravens

Chicken

Lays an egg from time to time, but it's still good eating.

7

New York Jets

Slimfast

No time for a hot dog? Try tossing back a can of Slimfast!

8

San Diego Chargers

Sirloin steak

It's tough, but if it's the best you can do then just try not to choke.

9

Dallas Cowboys

Movie popcorn

It's overpriced, but people eat it up.

10

Houston Texans

Chorizo

Tends to give you heartburn.

11

Oakland Raiders

Best prison food ever

You're still in prison.

12

Washington Redskins

Really high cake

It's going to fall apart when you move it to the judges' table.

13

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Candy apple

No matter how nice that old lady looked, you're checking for razor blades.

14

Tennessee Titans

Mustard dogs

Lots of yellow all over the place

15

New York Giants

Sauerbraten

Better than it sounds.

16

Pittsburgh Steelers

Fried chicken

You just had to have some, and now it's made you sleepy.

17

Cleveland Browns

Tostada

Like a taco, but boring.

18

San Francisco 49ers

Shoe leather

You could really wear yourself out trying to get sustenance from this.

19

Philadelphia Eagles

Truffles

Well, you spent the money. Now do something with it.

20

Carolina Panthers

Dough

It's on the rise, but far from ready.

21

Chicago Bears

Soymilk remoulade and potatoes

Style? Technique? Where's the frickin beef?

22

Atlanta Falcons

Mexican hamburger

The burger part is good. Let's start with that and get back to basics.

23

Denver Broncos

Tortilla

It folds

24

Cincinnati Bengals

Truck stop food

They say cholesterol is bad, but we're willing to give it another chance on our menu.

25

Seattle Seahawks

Marinara pizza

Who doesn't like pizza? What's that you say about "toppings"?

26

Jacksonville Jaguars

Imitation hummus

For those who found hummus too bold, this replacement should really hit the spot.

27

Arizona Cardinals

Beck's

Now you're starting to get an idea why they exported it.

28

Minnesota Vikings

Quiche

Sometimes you have to break a few eggs to make a gross ass quiche.

29

St. Louis Rams

Dropped taco

What was once so promising is looking like a broken mess.

30

Kansas City Chiefs

Onion soup

You might scare away your friends with a bad case of Haleytosis.

31

Indianapolis Colts

Indianapolis Colts

It might be food in France, but in the U.S. you better take that crap to Purina.

32

Miami Dolphins

Planet Hollywood

Food? Hey look, celebrities!

This is a Fan-Created Comment on MileHighReport.com. The opinion here is not necessarily shared by the editorial staff of MHR

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