FanPost

Broncos vs Raiders Postgame +/-'s

My first installment was met with rave reviews here at MHR, as evidence of getting as many Recs(6) as the Raiders scored points. So I have decided to write up my second installment of plus/minuses. Before I do so, I would like to share a few reviews on my work...

"It was the greatest article I've ever seen." -Ray Charles

"Me too." -Stevie Wonder

"It sucks." -Monica Lewinsky

"Me too." -Monica Lewinsky

"I could not find your great article because I cannot navigate this new MHR layout." -50% of MHR readers

After 48 hours have passed since the game, and as I sit and continue to bask in the glory of a triumphant Denver victory over the unspeakable that is known as the Oakland Raiders...I will hand out my weekly +/-'s.......

Before I continue, let me explain my scoring scale...the general rule is a player will be graded from +10 to -10...but for the most part from +3 to -3...every now and then it could be way higher or way lower, depending on an infinite number of factors, of which I do not know how these factors affect my plus/minus ratings. But they are damn accurate regardless, so don't question them, you are to only marvel in their excellence.

THE PLUS MEN

Peyton Manning(+37)- Easily Peyton's best game as a Bronco in my opinion...and since it's my article, my opinion will be considered fact. Only one pass that I recall ever touched a Raider defender...besides the batted pass by Seymour, and maybe a few others...it's been a couple days guys and all I know for certain is there were no picks thrown. And there was only one opportunity for a pick and the defender was in silver and black, so it of course was dropped. Manning absolutely picked the Raiders apart and that makes me very happy. Being 2-2 isn't the greatest, but I am glad the two wins Manning has got have been vs. Oakland and Pittsburgh, who have two of the lamest fan bases around my parts out here in Central CA.

Willis McGahee(+11)- Its pretty hard to make names bold when posting on an IPad, so I am going to skip making Willis's name bold here...he doesn't need a bolder name. This man is as bold as they come. Willis punished the Oakland defense nearly every time he touched the ball, and it showed in the 2nd half big time. As the time of possession scale weighed heavier and heavier into the Broncos' favor, Willis began to impose his will more and more. Heavier and heavier, more and more...sounds like me ordering cocktails.

Jack Del Rio(+8)- Its pretty hard to unbold names when posting on an IPad, so I am going to skip making Jack's review unbold. Del Rio's experience in shutting down the opposition's running game was very much the key to this blowout in Denver's favor. Run DMC was reduced to a crawl on Sunday, rendered ineffective by the effectiveness of the Del Rio scheme.

Eric Decker(+5)- Decker came through with many big catches on Sunday, and looks to have gotten on the same page with Manning. The crossing routes were unstoppable it seemed. Please build on this performance Eric, we need you to come up big in Foxboro.

Dan Koppen(+9)- There has got be an easier way to bold and unbold! Anyway, Dan F'n Koppen was a stud on Sunday. I googled Dan Koppen Images and the first thing that came up was a brick wall, and that's what he was on Sunday. (Actually when you google him, a bunch of pics in Patriot gear come up, which kinda sucks).

Elvis Dumervil(+4)- Doom was in the Raider backfield causing havoc all game long! Let's hope we see more of that this Sunday!

Von Miller-(+3)- Von punished Carson Palmer consistently and by the 3rd quarter I think he was in his head. Von finishes his hits, without regard to if there will be a "donate $25,000 to charity" letter mailed to him via FedEx from the office of Roger Goodell.

Jacob Tamme(+3)- Tamme converted more third downs than Wilt Chamberlain ******...well, maybe not 10,000 third downs converted, but still a good number.

Joel Dreessen(+2)- Nice TD catch.

Ronnie Hillman(+1)- Ronnie looks to be 100% now and adds a different element to the Broncos attack. If not for the speed of Taivan Branch, he may have very well scored his first NFL TD on Sunday...let's see him score it vs. New England!

Lance Ball(+.00006)- Lance, you did your job on Sunday. Not much more. But no less, so for that you make the Plusmen for the week. You did score a TD so the stat sheet will look good for ya. For anybody who thinks you should be ranked higher on the Plusmen list, you are wrong. And once again my opinion is correct and should be considered fact.

Manny Ramirez(+1)- I must say I am impressed Manny! I'm not really sure why, but I am. You managed to play better this week or get away with holding, either way I'm proud of ya bud.

Mike Adams(+1)- A decent game would have been a studly game if you could catch sir...but since you can't, the next guy made the Plusmen list as well...

David Bruton(+3)- An awesome punt block which will not go into the record book as a punt block, but better yet will screw over Lechler's punting average since it counted as a 2 yard punt or so...or the same distance as a Jim Leonhard punt return.

Robert Ayers(+2)- I haven't watched the film, and it has been 48 hours...plus I may or may not be drunk...but(Run on Sentence alert) I think Ayers did a heck of a job containing his gaps and deserves a lot of credit for containing McFadden. If I am wrong, I'm still right, since it is my article...which contains only facts.

Keith Brooking(+5)- another pivotal player on Sunday, Mr. Brooking was phenomenal on Sunday. He may have only been better than average, but phenomenal sounds more intriguing than "better than average"...so Keith, you were phenomenal on Sunday. But you must do even better now to be declared phenomenal ever again.

Chris Harris(+3)- another solid performance by the most underrated CB in the league. And that statement is true. I tweeted to Chris Harris he is the most underrated CB in the league, he retweeted it, which confirms this as fact. Plus it's in my article, so it is double fact. Which is like a TD being confirmed twice. Double fact.

Jim Leonhard(+2 yards)- You managed to force a 15 yard penalty which improved your net yards per return to about 2 for the season. Thanks, and remember just fall forward!!! It's the same yardage bruh.

THE EVEN MEN

Champ Bailey(Even)- Champ would be a plus, but I am trying to piss him off for this Sunday. Get him a little extra motivation. Maybe I'll tweet this to Chris Harris so he can retweet it to his followers, which will get Champ twice as mad since I didn't tweet it directly to him, instead I tweeted it behind his back. Nah, that's too much work, plus Champ needs no motivation.

Tracy Porter(Even)- not a bad bounce back game. Time to step up this week Tracy!

Wesley Woodyard(Even)- Solid game by Woody.

Demaryius Thomas(Even)- And everyone knows why.

THE MINUS MEN

John Fox(-1)- The only reason why I am putting you here Fox is because of the 4th and 1 FG attempt. I almost blame myself for calling you and Mike McCoy "John Michael Fox McCoy, the two-headed Sultan of Simpleness" last week so you had to prove you are creative by sending Zane Beadles on a corner route while our kicker tries to lay it in there. I will never question your creativeness again. I do understand not going for it because...a) you are John Fox or b) our center just tied his ankle into a knot. But I still don't understand Prater throwing it to a linemen, but you still beat Oakland and that's all that matters. But you still get a minus. But, but, but.

All Linemen Behind Manny Ramirez on the Depth Chart(-40)- Seriously guys, your job is being fat and strong and tough and everything else that goes with general bruteness. And you have been bested by a former baseball player who got fat. Don't tell me this isn't the same ManRam. Remember, it's my article.

Summary

For those of you that skimmed through expecting a summary of the stuff I wrote you are in luck. The Denver Broncos played very sound football this past Sunday defeating a hated division rival. Many men made my plus list, and I only put a few on the minus list and that's just because I felt like I had to, in order to be mean-spirited and never satisfied until Super Bowl Glory returns.

The Good News

For Raider fans, you guys have a bye week coming up...

The Bad News

The bye is favored by 3 points.

This is a Fan-Created Comment on MileHighReport.com. The opinion here is not necessarily shared by the editorial staff of MHR

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