Well that sucked. Coming off a resounding performance last week, the Denver Broncos came back to Earth this Sunday. And in the words of Dennis Green, the Patriots were who we thought they were, and we let them have hookers...or something like that. Or was it let them off the hook? Meh, who cares...a loss is a loss and after 5 weeks, Denver sits at 2-3 which is right about where I thought they would be. Without further rambling, I give you this week's Plus/Minuses...
To explain the knoepke84 Plus/Minus scoring system for those of you that missed my previous articles, I have brought in Broncos Running Back Willis McGahee.
Willis McGahee: How's everyone doing out there in Bronco Nation?!!!
knoepke84: We like to be referred to as Broncos Country Mr. McGahee...
Willis McGahee: Oh.
knoepke84: Mr. McGahee, thanks for dropping by the knoepke84 studios in my mind and explaining the plus/minus scoring system to the fans here at MHR...
Willis McGahee: No prob my man! Here's the breakdown MHR readers...according to my boy knoepke84 the system kinda works like hockey's plus minus system but not really. A player will usually rank somewhere between a +10 and a -10 but most of the time between +3 and -3, although it could be much higher are much lower, but that is rarely the case.
knoepke84: What you talkin bout Willis?
Willis McGahee: Really? We are gonna go there, knoepke84??? Well I'm glad you asked, knoepke84...because I have no idea what the hell I was talking about because your scoring system makes no sense man!!!
knoepke84: yea, you're right Willis...I really did drop the ball there. Kinda like you did today on 4th and 1, huh Willis?
Willis McGahee:- I'm sorry man. And I am sorry Broncos Country for dropping the ball today, and fumbling, and not giving that one little old lady outside the team bus an autograph today. Actually I'm not sorry about that, she had a Patriots sweater on.
knoepke84: Thanks again for stopping by 23!
Willis McGahee: My pleasure, anything I can do for a writer that tells only facts, and doesn't believe in putting opinions out there.
knoepke84: Ok, now on to the damn article.
THE PLUS MEN
Peyton Manning(+18)- Peyton was vintage Peyton once again this week and threw the ball very well. I only remember him really misfiring on one pass(to Tamme), and when you throw over 40 balls that's quite a feat.
Willis McGahee: yea man! 18 was crazy good today to only misfire on one pass all game! I remember last year, our QB was throwing balls in the dirt, the stands, everywhere but the player's hands!
knoepke84: Wow, you're still here Willis.
Champ Bailey(+24)- I think I saw Champ get beat once during the game. That's pretty remarkable going up against the Pats offense. That or I'm wrong and he was beat more. But it is my article and I only pen facts here so I must be right, Champ had a great game.
Willis McGahee: My dude Champ was a stud today!
Von Miller(+58)- Von was a beast today. Yes, he did have a few slip ups in the run game but he was out there making plays. If he didn't have hands of stone on his drop into coverage, he may have had a pick 6 to go with his forced fumble and numerous hits on Brady today.
Willis McGahee: Yes that's my dude!!! But I got a question, I thought the plus minus rules were supposed to be between 1 and 10 most of the time? It seems like everyone is plus there number today...
Demaryius Thomas(+8.8) would have been 88 but you fumbled. And fumbles are unacceptable and this week it cost you 79.2 points. Plus more importantly, it cost the Broncos a possible TD.
Willis McGahee: ..........
knoepke84: Ahem(throat clearing dirty look towards Willis)
Wesley Woodyard(+52)- Normally a LB would not make a plus list after his opponent rushed for over 200 yards. But I screwed over Wesley last week and left him off the plus list, so he makes it this week with 52 points...although he probably deserves less than that. But I am doing a jersey number theme this week to my scoring it seems, so congrats on your sack, and 52 points.
Mike Adams(+20)- Great effort on the fumble recovery. You got beat a few times here and there but it was a tall order...and you did a decent job.
Rahim Moore(+26)- Nice hits today, six tackles. And Brady didn't beat us deep. Although he beat us annoyingly short.
Eric Decker(+8.7)- Nice TD catch, but no way do you deserve 87 points. Solid game, but with the time Manning had most of the day you should have been able to beat coverage more often.
Jacob Tamme(+8.4)- Another solid outing for 84.
Elvis Dumervil(+9.2)- Got held more times than...eh, that was gonna be a bit too dirty of an analogy so I will just leave it at Elvis got held a lot today. Especially when the Pats ran the ball in his direction or when he was getting a solid push toward Brady.
THE EVEN MEN
Willis McGahee: Hold up...I didn't make the Plus Men list knoepke84???
Joel Dreessen(Even)- All you do is catch touchdowns. Do more.
Brandon Stokley(Even)- All you did today was catch a touchdown. Do more.
Kevin Vickerson(Even)- Made some nice plays out there, but it's hard to make a plus list when giving up more than 200 yards rushing unless I screwed you over a previous week. And with you, that's not the case.
Britton Colquitt(Even)- Great punt to down the ball at the 1 yard line...then you booted one through the end zone and we have high expectations of you here in Broncos Country.
Chris Harris(Even)- You played your ass off today. Against a very formidable opponent. Today was a learning experience which I am sure will help you down the road Chris.
Jack Del Rio(Even)- Tom Brady didn't throw for 16 touchdowns in the 1st half so I guess that's improvement. I did like a few things I saw from the defense that fooled Tom today, but I also saw you rush 3 on 3rd and long again as well as allow a 3rd and 17 to be converted...a draw. And for that your +/- is a draw this week.
John Michael Fox McCoy(Even)- Please just throw your headsets away and let 18 run the damn show. Go to Best Buy and get some of those cool looking bright orange beats by dre headphones and slap those babies on, and McCoy...especially you. Just put some Nate Dogg on and enjoy the show...all you have to do is stand on the sidelines with a gangsta lean and let Peyton do the rest. You might even consider putting on one of those cool new beanies Stokley was sporting to complete the gangsta look.
THE MINUS MEN
Willis McGahee: C'mon man, you are my dude knoepke84! I came into your studio for this week's article and you gonna do me like this???
Willis McGahee(-230)- You dropped a 4th and 1 pass on what could have been a game-changing drive. You fumbled on what could have been a game-changing drive. I love the grit and determination you play with, but you must play smarter.
Willis McGahee: -230???? I'm number 23 though.
knoepke84: yep. Don't ever fumble again!!! Please.
Willis McGahee: I won't. I will look the ball in and I will use two hands to cover the ball while heading into a pile.
knoepke84: Broncos Country forgives you.,.if you run all over San Diego this week.
Willis McGahee: Will do.
knoepke84: Shouldn't you be on the team plane or bus right now???
Willis McGahee: Yea, about that...me and my dude, there wasn't enough room for the ride back they said.
Demaryius Thomas: Hey guys!!!
knoepke84: Wow, they really didn't let you guys on the team bus after the game???!!!
Demaryius Thomas: ............
Willis McGahee: ..............
knoepke84: Alright, moving on...my next minus man is...
Joe Mays: Hey guys!!!!
knoepke84: Wow!!!! I was just thinking about you Joe!!! You missed the bus too, huh?
Joe Mays: Yeah, what a crazy coincidence! Oh it must be for your plus/minus column! You must have just started because you know I gotta be on that Plus List!!!!
Willis McGahee: .............
Demaryius Thomas: ................
Joe Mays(-51)- Most of the reason why the Patriots were able to rush for over 200 yards was because of you, Joe. No gap discipline. Bad angles. And you didn't rip a piece of Tom Brady's ear off.
Joe Mays: Minus 51??? I thought your scoring system was like mostly +10 to -10???
Manny Ramirez: Hey guys!!!
Willis McGahee: Who are you?
Manny Ramirez: Hey guys!!!!
Demaryius Thomas: Hey!!!! It's ManRam!!! I'm such a big fan of yours from the Cleveland Indians days!
Manny Ramirez: Not the Red Sox days?
Demaryius Thomas: Nope.
Manny Ramirez: Who's that guy?
Manny Ramirez: Hi ManRam!!! My name is Manny Ramirez too! I play with Demaryius, Willis, and Joe!!!
Manny Ramirez: Wow what a coincidence.
Demaryius Thomas: Hold up. You play with us???
Manny Ramirez: Yeah guys! I'm the guy that you guys are always making fun of...you know....The El Matador!!!!
Willis McGahee: Oh snap!!! That's you??? Haahaahah, my dude!!!!
Manny Ramirez: Nice seeing you guys, and nice meeting you Broncos Manny Ramirez.
Manny Ramirez: Nice meeting you too, baseball Manny Ramirez.
knoepke84: Ok...that was weird. Moving on...
Manny Ramirez(-320)- I have not rematches the tape, but you are by far our worse linemen so I am going to assume every time 18 got hit today it was your fault.
Manny Ramirez: -320??? I thought your....
knoepke84: Yes, most of the time except when I'm grading you it's usually worse...this week I'm giving out plus/minuses based on your jersey number, and I can't think of your number right now...probably because when I see you, you are usually in the process of falling on your back so it's tough to see. So instead of your jersey number, I'm guessing your weight and giving you minus that. Unfair yes, but too bad.
Demaryius Thomas: Who's that guy walking up all slow to us???
Willis McGahee: Lance!!!! You missed the team bus too???
Lance Ball: Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Sssssssssssssuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeee Dddddddddddiiiiiiiiiiiddddddd.
knoepke84: Damn, not only does he run slow, he talks slow too?
Willis McGahee: yep.
knoepke84: Crazy coincidences today. The next man on the list is you Lance!!!
Lance Ball(-35): One carry and you managed to piss everyone off. Your name sounds slow. Laaaaaaaaannnnnnncccccccceeeeeeee Bbbbbbbbbbaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllll. I think the only reason you play on Sundays is because you are the perfect guy to go to when Fox and McCoy get into their "pound the ball up the gut to keep the defense honest" mentality.
Lance Ball: .........................................................................
knoepke84: Wow! Even your silence is slow!!!
Jim Leonhard: Hey guys! Sorry I'm late, but you know...
Willis McGahee: Yeah we know. You haven't got your new Nike "Fast is Faster" cleats...so you are still rock in' the Wolverine Dura Shocks you used to wear when you did cement pouring.
Jim Leonhard: Yeah, sucks too because about 35 pounds of concrete mix dried over them and they are literally cemented to my feet.
knoepke84: well, that explains a lot...moving on...
Jim Leonhard(-36)- I pretty sure I saw you on the field for the 3rd and 17 draw that went for a 1st down...yep or at least it was a cardboard cut out of you on the field. Either way, it didn't move much.
Demaryius Thomas: Hey, how are we getting to San Diego for the game on Monday?
knoepke84: The good news is I am going to the game!!! So you guys can come with me...I got room for...
Manny Ramirez: Shotgun!!!
Willis McGahee: Well we damn sure can't have Peyton line up under center with you out there whiffing on blocks so of course Shotgun!!!!
knoepke84: Alright guys!!!! On to San Diego and don't ever end up on my minus list again!!!
Willis, Demaryius, Joe, Jim, Manny: Yes sir!
Lance Ball: Yyyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeessssssssss Ssssssssssssssiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!
knoepke84: And there you have it, MHR. The Plus/Minuses for the week. I should be attending the Monday Night Football game in San Diego this week if all goes as planned. With a win on Monday, our Denver Broncos will be sitting on top of the division heading into the bye week!!! Through a grueling first part of the schedule, that's a great spot for us to be in!!! Go Broncos!!!