FanPost

John Elway - Dear Diary

This is completely tongue-in-cheek based on my observations on MHR for the past year. It's not meant to offend anyone, hopefully everyone can just enjoy it and have a laugh, no matter your perspective.

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1.2.2011

Dear Diary,

Happiest. Day. Ever. Master P (Pat Bowlen, duh) hired me! I am now THE VP of Football Operations for my favorite team ever, the Denver Broncos. I can't wait to get started. Yes, my team has alot of weaknesses and but you know what they say, better to replace an idiot than a rockstar! Can't wait.

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Training camp 2011

Dear Diary,

Lockout = over. 2011 draft = done. I'm 2 for 2. Just wait till people see Von Miller. Dude reminds me of Derrick Thomas. Remember all those sad diary entries I used to write back in those days? Yeah, well, now all those other scrub QB's can feel the same.

On another note, I keep hearing about this "QB controversy" here. I don't understand why. Orton looks sharp, confident and completely in control out there. This Tim Teabow guy almost hit me in the face on a screen pass. Note to self: Trade with Josh McDaniels as much as humanly possible.

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10.9.2011

Dear Diary,

That's it. I'm done. Kyle Orton, you suck. I've never seen someone a grown adult so scared in my life. And trust me, I know fear. You ever try and sell steaks when you've never cooked a day in your life? And charge $70 for it? Yeah, that's real fear. And don't even mention trying to sell cars.

So I'm gonna start Tim Teblow (haha, I just made that up). This should be a riot. We've won one game so we're right in the middle of the Andrew Luck sweepstakes. Now there's a real QB... smart, accurate, mobile... and he's a Stanford Grad!!!! !!!!!! !!!!!!! <3 <3 <3 Quiet my beating heart.

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12.11.2011

Dear Diary,

Sorry it's been so long but honestly, I don't know what's going on. Up is down. Down is up. My team has just won six games in a row. SIX GAMES IN A ROW!!!!! I didn't think we'd win six all year! Hell, I didn't think we'd win six in 2011 and 2012 combined! And the weirdest part? It's Tim Tebow! I thought all this religious mumbo jumbo was crazy but seriously, I'm starting to believe. He still can't throw a football (whatever) but for some reason, weird things are happening. Tell me what to feel diary! I'm happy my team is winning my but Andrew Luck is gooooooooone. Crap.

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1.8.2012

Dear Diary,

SUCK IT STEELERS.

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1.15.2012

Dear Diary,

So the season ended yesterday. We went 8-8 (six more than I thought we'd win), won a playoff game (wasn't expecting that until 2014) and then got demolished by the Patriots (again). I hate Tom Brady. Dude is gonna break all my records, just because his coach is awesome. WHY DIDN'T I HAVE BILL BELICHICK!? I had Dan-freaking-Reeves for more years than I can count. Me taking Dan Reeves to Super Bowls >>> Tom Brady winning Super Bowls with Belichick. Fact.

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2.29.2012

Dear Diary,

What do you think about Tim Tebow? What do you think about Tim Tebow? What do you think about Tim Tebow? What do you think about Tim Tebow? What do you think about Tim Tebow? What do you think about Tim Tebow? What do you think about Tim Tebow? What do you think about Tim Tebow? What do you think about Tim Tebow? What do you think about Tim Tebow? What do you think about Tim Tebow? What do you think about Tim Tebow? What do you think about Tim Tebow?

Seriously, that's what my last month and a half has been. What do I really think about Tim Tebow? I think he sucks. Problem is, he DID just win a bunch of games last year that the human scarecrow couldn't win and we even won a playoff game. What the hell can I say? He sucks? I don't believe in him? I would trade him for Peyton Manning's used jockstrap. No, seriously, I would. In the meantime, I have to keep kissing his ass otherwise I'm gonna get sniped by some Florida fanboi (I just made that up). This sucks. I'M SUPPOSED TO BE THE REASON WE WIN!!!

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3.20.2012

Dear Diary,

It's confirmed. I. AM. A. GOD!!!! You know what I did in the last couple of weeks? Oh you know, not much. Other than signing PEYTON-FREAKING-MANNING!!!!!!!!!!! This day is almost as awesome as when I sold all those car dealership to Wayne Huizenga (suuuuucker). I'll start fielding calls for Teblow tomorrow (Peyton told me to), but seriously, first GM to call and say Tim Tebow gets him. He doesn't even have to say Tim Tebow. Just Tim. Or, "hey John, how are you?" Really, first person to call gets Tebow. Seriously, it could be Comcast asking about the cable bill and I'd give him to them. 2012! Chaaaampionship.

xoxoxo,

John

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Go Broncos.

This is a Fan-Created Comment on MileHighReport.com. The opinion here is not necessarily shared by the editorial staff of MHR

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