You all know how this works. You have all seen a roast before. Usually the person being roasted is a movie star, or comedian or some big name sports star, but what happens is all their friends get together and tell stories on them, make jokes about them (with heavy sarcasm so be forewarned cause it's the norm) and in general poke fun at them.

Since you are all friends, you have all been invited to the roast! It looks like I'm the host, so let me start it off...

Kaptain!?! Captain of what! You don't even know how to spell it! Ya, I saw that set of movies and TV shows you were on, and you were pathetic! You can't even say a simple sentence without putting some huge pause in the middle of it, as if it needed a dramatic effect or something right in the middle of it. You couldn't even ask the replicator to produce a drink without pausing mid sentence!

Don't you ever sleep? What's with it with you anyway? Are you a glutton for punishment or something? Up so early in the morning collecting the bad news to dump on us all! You must have a room full of hate mail that you haven't opened yet just because you can't possibly keep up with it all. ;o) (Owch! Remember folks, sarcasm right?)

I remember the first article you wrote here was about Klingons! Something about they needed to replace the Morons at the helm or something. Wasn't it supposed to be an article about the Broncos coaching staff? Well, all I can remember is it never got any comments.

I'd just like to know why it is that you think we want a bunch of information every day in the first place! Hey, wipe that smile off your face! This isn't funny.

I'll bet you really liked your job as Head Coach here until McD got fired! Made you squirm in your boots a little bit didn't it? I've been watching you glance over your shoulder at The Guru every time he gets on MHR Radio. Your expecting him to announce that you got fired! I can see it in your eyes.

All joking aside though, if we had to vote for any one person we'd like to see fired it would be you...lol...hey you guys! Sarcasm!

All right. The truth is that this site would go in the dumper without ya man. (I meant to say deeper into the dumpster than it already is, my bad) We all love what you do for us day in and day out, and without you here, this place would double in membership! (JK)

Don't you dare run off and leave us like some of the other guys we miss around here. You would NEVER B 4 GIVEN!!!!!!

OK, who's up next?