Before I start, I wanted to say that the idea from this post came from a couple of ideas, a comment I made on one of Cali's old Weekend Threads (http://www.milehighreport.com/2013/5/24/4363492/calikulas-imperial-weekend-thread-memorial-day-edition#164816147) and from a post I read on our Chiefs sister site a while ago (http://www.arrowheadpride.com/2013/5/5/4303016/mend-the-bond).
I wish to spin a great tale of a great dynasty. I shall begin when this kingdom was younger.
A great warrior, known by the number 7 he wore, was the offensive masterpiece of the kingdom. All who beheld his playing were amazed and intimidated. He was assisted by a mighty runner, #30, and many other greats. After having conquered all comers for two straight years and ending his career with the Great Ring, the brilliant warrior left the team for retirement, leaving a population excited for the future under a master general as famed for turning seemingly useless peasants into great running backs behind a mauling line as for his seemingly endless sunburn.
And as the warrior walked away, the future seemed as bright as the orange and blue colors of the kingdom.
Yet no warriors proved to be as dangerous and reputable as the Magnificent 7. Although one, known simply as the Snake for his cunning, showed promise, he was abandoned for an unproven apprentice. The apprentice failed the kingdom and was jettisoned for another apprentice.
Ay, everything about the kingdom seemed cursed. A promising young defender was brutally assassinated by a common criminal (and not the kind that faced the kingdom twice a year from Oakland). The army's ranks became stocked with untalented peasants. Although the kingdom seemed destined for a playoff berth, the army broke and ran and the general was given his marching orders.
And so it was that the kingdom became leaderless. The king turned to new, young blood to direct his armies. He found it in a young soldier, a follower of a mysterious, hooded figure in the East. This disciple was reputed to be skilled in offensive prowess after having worked with another offensive genius and was selected to lead the armies of the orange and blue.
Yet this youngling was unable to achieve any lasting success. He used tactics deemed illegal, which brought shame to the kingdom. He drafted many new players, whose contributions at the time were few and far between. But the McGeneral selected a new apprentice to lead the team, known as the Tebow.
After less than two disappointing seasons of warfare, the McGeneral was fired. Instead, the king turned to a new commander of his forces. He discovered a general, known as Fox for his wiliness. The Fox had come close to the Great Ring before but had been defeated by the Hooded One and his mystics.
It was at this time when, one morning with an orange and blue sunrise, the warrior of #7 came riding into the kingdom. He was determined to prove himself as a leader and a strategist, and the kingdom welcomed him with open arms.
The battles that followed will not soon be forgotten by those members of the kingdom. Although an unshaven warrior with a neckbeard led the forces as the campaign commenced, he was abandoned in favor of the Tebow. The Tebow quickly proved he had mastered the art of Time Manipulation, which resulted in the astounding "Tebow Time." This proved to be the decisive factor in several major conflicts.
And so, under the Tebow, the army advanced to the playoffs. They faced the wily veteran leader Big Ben and his warriors of steel. And somehow, when all else appeared to have failed and nothing seemed to work, the Tebow struck a decisive blow and the armies were victorious. They were brought solidly back the following week as the Hooded One and his forces defeated them.
That offseason, a great warrior who had led a successful campaign to own the Great Ring began searching for a new home. He chose to lead the forces of the Broncos. He was welcomed by the population and quickly went to work. The Tebow was sent away to the employment of a kingdom whose greatest highlight from their campaign was that which can only be referred to as the "Butt Fumble."
And so, with PFMe commanding the forces as the field general he was, the people of the horse enjoyed great success and successfully went on to the next round.
On a sub-freezing day, they met their opponents, a murder of corpse-consuming carrion who trusted the supposed healing powers of deer antler spray. The battle was long, hard and well-contested, but in the end, the forces of the Dark Bird triumphed.
Those who hated PFMe for the power and skill he had, crowed that he would win a Great Ring "Nevermore." Yet, the offseason dawned with all manners of mercenary warriors flocking to the banner of orange and blue. Many renowned and powerful fighters joined the team, eager to work with such a renowned warrior. At this time, the kingdom stands at a time of great happiness. Although the Four-Letter-Network-Wizards predict and prognosticate, the future remains unclear. One thing remains certain: