Super Bowl LXVIII: Groundhog’s Day



I wrote this up yesterday and just wanted to share it. KK

This year, Super Bowl Sunday falls on what is traditionally known as Groundhog’s Day. It is mere coincidence, but such a topic could not and should not be ignored. Granted, Super Bowl LXVIII has been talked to death and frankly, we are all tired of waiting for the big day and doubtless, the Bronco and Seahawk players are as well. So while we bide the time, let’s have a bit of fun with this.

It all started in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania back in 1887. The tradition of Groundhog’s Day says that if the groundhog, Punxsutawney Phil, who is actually more of a Gopher or a Marmot, emerges from his hole on February 2nd after a long winter sleep and sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter; but if it is a shadow-less day, spring is near.

In context with the game, who should we portray as Punxsutawney Phil?

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell might be an obvious choice, but let’s use Archie and Olivia Manning instead.

If FOX, who is televising the game, shows Archie and Olivia for the First time, in their Club level seats during the 1st Quarter;

  • Peyton Manning will throw six Touchdown passes.

  • The Denver Defense will hold the Seahawks to 6 points in the 1st half.

  • The city of Denver will host a Super Bowl within the next six years.

  • The Super Bowl victory celebration in Broncos Country will last six days.

  • The city of Omaha will get six more weeks of publicity.

  • The Broncos will make the playoffs for the next six consecutive seasons.

If the Manning’s first appearance onscreen during the game does NOT come in the 1st Quarter;

  • No player with the surname of Manning, will win a Super Bowl Ring in the next six seasons.

  • The Broncos won’t cover the pointspread.

  • Phil Simms will continue his East Coast bias against the Broncos, endlessly reminding us that Peyton Manning can’t win the big game, perform in cold weather or win without a solid Defense.

  • Tom Jackson will be dumbfounded and Shannon Sharpe won’t have a single thing to say.

  • Joe Namath will "Guarantee" that he will finally kiss Suzy Kolber.

  • Roger Goodell will turn the NFL into a flag football organization to finalize all Concussion settlements.

Then again, what if This Groundhog’s Day ends up like the movie and we are transposed into an alternate reality where, "Hurry Hurry and This one’s for John!" are repeated endlessly, Champ Bailey never retires, Peyton gets a Bionic arm, plays forever and cements is legacy as the greatest Quarterback ever?

That would be like Deja Vu all over again.

Hey, a guy can dream can’t he?

Go Broncos!

-- Kaptain Kirk

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Kaptain Kirk on Facebook

This is a Fan-Created Comment on The opinion here is not necessarily shared by the editorial staff of MHR

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