35 things to help you survive the worst 35 days of your year - the offseason

Ron Chenoy-USA TODAY Sports

We're 35 days from the start of Broncos training camp. Lucky for you, we have some fabulous ideas for how to spend your time pretending this time of year doesn't suck so much.

The offseason.

More like the off offseason - No free agency to get worked up about. No Draft to watch (and no more hours wasted doing a mock draft before that draft). No OTAs and minicamps to salivate over.

No. It's just you and your Broncos gear getting cranky and dusty for another 35 days until ... wait, what?

Another freakin' month? How do we ever survive this month of the year anyway?

Thankfully, the Mile High Report writers have put their collective brains together to bring you a fool-proof way to get past the lull and cruise into training camp and preseason football fit and ready to get this season started.

1. Dress your dogs in Broncos gear and go hike some mountains. The fresh air will do you good and seeing a Broncos jersey in action will also lift your spirits.

2. Cure cancer. But wear Broncos scrubs while doing it.

3. Win the Super Bowl with the Broncos in Madden (wouldn't be the first time it's been done)

4. Have a Broncos-themed (or normal) fantasy football draft party

5. Organize a pickup football game at a local park (or go to one of Jon's games)

6. Go watch minor league and indoor football games (the Piranha are pretty good!)

7. Grab some sunscreen and a football and head to a beach or a lake where you'll undoubtedly find other lost souls holding a football and staring into the horizon.

8. Get in the "best shape of your life," just like the Broncos.

9. Work on your end zone dance. Everyone needs one. Not enough have one. Take advantage of this obvious glitch in the market and bust a move.

10. Create the ultimate Denver Broncos party drink. Something orange on the bottom with some blue liquid filtering down from above, perhaps? There's potential here.

11. Remind yourself why it's worth the wait. Watch a few baseball games and pat yourself on the back for having chosen pro football as your go-to spectator sport. Few things are more boring to watch than Major League Baseball still months away from anything important ( or, ahem, a no-hitter against the Rockies).

12. Wear a Broncos jersey every day and practice taking good selfies. This will be useful come game day at the stadium. You'll be the envy of all your friends who did not practice.

13. Become more active on Twitter. Here's a list of the 10 most active Broncos on Twitter.

14. Coach a pee wee flag football summer league team. It's almost as competitive as the NFL, will help keep you sharp on your penalties, and dealing with the parents will be good practice for dealing with obnoxious fans from other teams during the season!

15. Dedicate every Sunday from now until Sept. 7 to a different (and favorite) Denver Bronco: Send him a Mile High Salute tweet; do as many sit-ups as the number on his jersey; memorize three facts about him (this one will come in handy at the Super Bowl party next year when your friends will appreciate your depth of knowledge of the best team in the NFL).

16. Catch up on your Broncos history with throwback DVDs and books, or make YouTube your best friend. Watch every great Bronco highlight - from the 1977 and 1987 AFC championships to Elway's greatest comebacks to the 1998 and '99 Super Bowls. And don't forget all great games against top rivals - Patriots, Steelers, Jets - and almost any game against the Raiders and Chiefs.

17. Attend the three training camp practices at SAF@MH (the only training camp practices open to the public).

18. In the Colorado area? Conquer some 14ers! MHR's Kyle has taken a day off the last several training camps summitting 14,000-foot high mountains near Denver.

19. Assign Broncos' players and hated opponents to Game of Thrones characters...so when you're watching your favorite show, it's kind of like watching football. (Although, granted, Archie probably doesn't want to kill Peyton).

32. Create the ultimate Broncos Mancave. Send us pictures. Maybe the inaugural "MHR Tailgate at a Fan's House" has just been created.

20. Update your wardrobe to include more Broncos-themed clothing, especially with jerseys of top rookies (like, maybe 29 and 14 for starters).

21. Attend the Broncos' two home preseason games in August.

22. Golf where Peyton, Fox, and Elway hit the links.

23. Get to know the Broncos' 2014 opponents. This can help you get started.

24. Attend or organize a Broncos fan BBQ. The Denver Broncos Booster Club held one last year.

25. Hit up the best restaurants in Denver. Elway's is a must, of course.

26. Draw the faces of your favorite Broncos in chalk on the sidewalk/your driveway

27. Sharpie on a cardboard box "Honk if the Broncos will win SB 49" and go stand on the side of the street for awhile.

  • Don't get hit.
  • Don't overstay your welcome (especially if you live outside CO)
  • Don't get arrested.

28. Attend a concert attended by Peyton Manning. You may have to guess, but he does have a track record: Jake Owen last summer, Luke Bryan two summers ago and Kenny Chesney concerts many times.

29. Volunteer in the community like your favorite Broncos players. Become a Big Brother in Big Brothers Big Sisters like MHR's own leader Kyle Montgomery; teach a kid football and to love the orange and blue (Kyle is still working on that). Go to one of the charity events sponsored by Broncos players.

30. Catch up on MHR Radio podcasts and review Denver's offseason.

31. Try the Dave Letterman/Peyton Manning "throw a football through a moving taxi" contest with your friends. See who gets chased down first.

32. Create the ultimate Broncos Mancave. Send us pictures. Who knows - maybe the inaugural "MHR Tailgate at a Fan's House" has just been created.

33. Visit Shanahan's and hold one or both of the two Broncos' Lombardi Trophies.

34. Keep Peyton Manning on your ALL Scout Team Madden Broncos Franchise; set the difficulty accordingly.

35. Buy a Patriots' sweatshirt (from a thrift store, don't waste money on a new one), cut off the sleeves at the elbow, drape over a dart board and use all season. Another fun option is sprinkling with gasoline and lighting a match. Take your pick.

Feeling better already, aren't you? Then get your jersey on, do a Mile High Salute and let's get this offseason over with! Let us know your offseason plans in the comments.

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