clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

MHR's Overreaction Wednesday!

Each week on Tuesday (I know today is Wednesday), I will offer up a new version of overreaction to what we just witnessed over the weekend (and Monday).

The Eagles are the greatest team alive!!!! I mean, it isn't every day that a team can score 33 points against a Mike Shanahan defense! They are scoring at such an incredible pace that they'll have to upgrade the scoreboards around the league to handle triple digits by mid season! Nevermind that Vick got pounded and he was limping by the 4th Quarter. Nevermind that the Skins couldn't get out of their own way. All those things don't matter when you score an NFL record 33 points!!!!

Speaking of NFL records, how about the Kansas City Chiefs completely dominiating a team they had no business dominating! I mean, it isn't every day you can score 28 points and shut out an offense that sports a QB that makes Tim Tebow look like a passing God! To shut that team out is a rare feat and can only be accomplished by the elite of the elite! It's a good thing the Broncos didn't play the Jags or else we'd be heading back to Denver with our tail between our legs as the Jags would have beaten us 49-3. So to see the Chiefs beat them that bad? Man, Denver might as well just forfeit the division. They have no chance!

And HOLY SMOKES, how about the Seahawks! They held Cam Newton's team to 7 points! That's an out-of-this-world dominant defense! And they were missing 3 whole starters! We're not talking starters with the talent of Von Miller or Champ Bailey, we're talking players that are actually good! And to beat the explosive and unstoppable offense that the Panthers sport? FORGETTABOUTIT!!!! The Seahawks are going 16-0 (because they don't play Philly). I mean, when was the last time that the Panthers were held to such mediocre scoring? And Russell Wilson? Man, that cat is like John Elway meets Peyton Manning with a sprinkle of Randall Cunningham thrown in! Forget about Sophomore slumps, this kid is the best QB in NFL History!!! What? They scored 12 points? Bah, it's week 1. You can't tell anything from opening week except that Seattle is the best team in NFL history, the Eagles are co-best team in NFL history, and the Cheifs are going to the Super Bowl!!!

Just like every year, the NFC East is the best division in football. Not 1, but 2 teams will be wild cards. They will sport 3 playoff teams because they are just that ridiculously good! I mean, you have the Cowboys, the Giants, the Eagles, and the Redskins. If this isn't the best division in football, I'm going to eat my own shorts! Have we ever seen a division since the AFL/NFL merger that has completely set the standard for divisional play like the NFC East? The Cowboys are like 20-2 in the playoffs the last 10 years. The Giants have won 6 of the last 7 Super Bowls and have never missed the playoffs in that time, and the Eagles... well, you know all about the Eagles from above! Don't sleep on the reigning Division Champion Redskins because they have RGIII and that's all you need to win any game! The way he can run/throw and play defense is beyond the comprehension of feeble naysayers. Only the truly magnificent football minds can comprehend how amazing this division is! Don't fight me on it or else you'll just prove yourself to be anti-East Coast biased, and well, that's bias too!

The Running Game is a thing of the past (I'm guilty of saying this). The NFL is all about passing. Mark it down, you'll see so little rushing attempts and yards that eventually teams won't even carry a RB anymore. I mean, the average rushing attempts might be up 1 from last year, but hey, the yards per carry are down by .1 and the yards per game are down by 4 whole yards compared to last year's week 1. But those are just stats, and stats can be made to say whatever you want. My eyes tell me that each team ran the ball about 7 times as a whole for about 20 yards! It's all about the pass baby! Viva La Quarterback!!!!

Speaking of Quarterbacks, how about that Peyton Manning? That dude is on FIRE! He's breaking records left and right each time he passes the ball. Has anyone told you that he is on, get this, on pace for 7,500 yards and 112 Touchdowns!!! It isn't a matter of IF he'll pass for 7,500 yards and 112 TDs, it's more a matter of WILL he STOP at 7,500 yards and 112 TDs? Who's to say he doesn't shoot for 8,000 and 120 TDs this year? After all, word on the street is that he started slow and can only improve as the season progresses! Do it Peyton, go for 10 TDs and 700 yards against your brother on Sunday! Prove to the world that you are still the third best QB in the NFL behind Russell Wilson (1 TD) and Colin Kaepernick (3TDs)... Good luck Peyton, you're gonna need it!

The New England Patriots' Danny Amendola is the best WR they have ever, ever had! In his first game with them, he did something that Wes Welker has only done twice, he caught 9 first downs! At this current pace, Amendola and his groin should surpass everything Welker has ever done by week 3 of this season! And to think that the Patriots and their fans were worried when he left them for Denver. Fear not Patriot fans, for Welker didn't even come close to Danny's 10 catches for 104 yards with zero points to show for it. No, instead, he had a pedestrian 9 catches for 67 yards and 2 Touchdowns! That's 1 fewer catch than Amendola and 37 less yards, AND, Danny did it with a sore groin! If that isn't a feat of super human strength, I just don't know what is!

And finally (because we can't get enough of the gushing over the worlds greatest team, the Philadelphia Eagles), Man, have you heard? The Eagles are playing at a LIGHTENING FAST TEMPO!!! They are ushering a new era of playing fast. They are calling and executing plays so fast that you might miss an entire quarter of football while standing in line for the restroom at the stadiums. They ran 30, yes, 30 plays in the first quarter alone, and 77 on the evening. I have never seen a team move at a frenetic pace quite like them... you know, since the day before when the New England Patriots ran 89 plays, or preseason game #3 when the Broncos ran 30 1st Quarter plays! But again, that doesn't matter because they don't have the NFL Legend Chip Kelly running the show! He and he alone is capable of running an until-now, never before seen hurry up offense! Andrew Mason broke it down even better in his article here. It's the last paragraph. The Eagles were 10th in the NFL in average time it took between plays. FYI, the Broncos were 4th.