#2 sounds about right
Rules changes we can believe in!
Denver Broncos: the ability to play 4 safeties at one time in addition to the 11 other defenders on the field
Kansas City: The ability to substitute the other teams QB for their own. Also the ability make the last two weeks of the regular season their very own playoffs.
Oakland: The ability to substitute any team for their own
San Diego: An Additional five yards gained for each high pitched Phillip Rivers whine.
New England: Pass interference calls on anyone that looks at a receiver
Miami Dolphins: Ability to add 3 extra offensive lineman per snap
New York Jets: A fumble caused by a player’s ass is a forward pass
Buffalo Bills: The ability to end the season whenever they have a winning record
Pittsburgh Steelers: 7 timeouts in the last 2 minutes.
Cincinnati Bengals: A quarterback with a soul.
Cleveland Browns: Anything…Anything really.
Baltimore Ravens: The Ability to take back salary for every game Joe Flacco is ya know…Joe Flacco.
Indianapolis Colts: COCAINE FOR EVERYONE (I kid of course)
Houston Texans: Matt Schaub Interceptions count as touchdowns
Jacksonville Jaguars: The ability to relocate the team to South Dakota
Tennessee Titans: The ability to franchise tage 4 players at once
Philadelphia Eagles: The ability to have LeSean McCoy actually win something that counts
Dallas Cowboys: For every millionth dollar they spend on Tony Romo that is how much they are able to beat teams by.
New York Giants: Genetically engineered players who do not rely on knees
Washington Redskins: The ability to turn Albert Haynesworths dead contract money into another terrible contract.
Seattle Seahawks: 100,000 more seats at their stadium
San Fran 49ers: 100,000 less seats at their stadium
Arizona Cardinals: the ability to not make the playoffs even if they are 13-3
St. Louis Rams: the ability to sacrifice a live goat at halftime in order to appease Sam Bradford in hopes that he might actually play decent.
Atlanta Falcons: The ability for the DE’s to carry tasers
NOLA Saints: The ability to pick and choose which teams they face in the playoffs regardless if said teams made the playoffs or not
Carolina Panthers: The same thing as the Saints except they get to choose from a pool of high school teams
Tampa Bay Bucs: The ability to substitute the other teams coach with their own
Chicago Bears: Jay Culter gets to play in bubble wrap
Green Bay Packers: Players where cheeseheads instead of helmets
Detroit Lions: They get to handpick every player for every position on their team regardless if that player was on another team- And they still won’t make the playoffs
Minnesota Vikings: For every yard Adrian Peterson gains that is how many minutes the other team is not allowed to take the field.
You win the internet, sir!
Best first Tweet?
I saw this yesterday and instantly checked my first tweet. Unfortunately, I only tweeted the word "working", which really means nothing to me since its was like five years ago. What was I working on? We will never know, hell, I was probably lying ... I was on FREAKING Twitter after all!
Anyway, this first tweet takes the cake quite well...
- The Broncos are apparently looking to become a little more grounded in 2014, which is okay with me. Provided the defense is as good as it is on paper.
- Peter King interviews Aqib Talib about his contract and move to the Broncos. He asked some pretty interesting questions about the Broncos cap-friendly contract offer.
- One of the biggest winners in free agency was Emmanuel Sanders, because not only does he get a respectable contract, but he will also get to have his numbers inflated by Peyton Manning. Not a bad deal at all.
- A great post over on SB Nation about draft prospects and the terminology used to describe them. The information is invaluable to all of us who read up on potential draft prospects and whether or not we truly understand what the descriptors mean for each.