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Woof, what a week Broncos fans. If we can't celebrate our victory, we can at least have a little fun with teams holding little emotional attachment for us.
This season is weird. There are a handful of good teams and a boat load of mediocre and bad teams. Please note than ranks 12-32 are easily interchangeable. There are eleven NFL teams with a 4-5 record. Eleven. Any given Sunday was never truer; if my math is correct, 15 have teams dealt with injuries to their starting quarterback at some point this season. We are barely over the halfway mark, and 47% of the starting quarterbacks in the league have been injured enough to be pulled from a game.
Here are your week 10 power rankings! I'm a temporary punching bag this week, Tim will be back soon.
1. |
New England Patriots |
Record 9-0. The P*ts, ugh. We all thought they were about to lose to make us feel a sliver better on Sunday, but noooooo, Belichik teased us like this poor dog before he kicked us while we were down. Goodell was in the house, suspicious... In other old news, the NFL officially needs to figure out what a catch is. STOP MESSING WITH OUR EMOTIONS! |
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2. |
Carolina Panthers |
Record 9-0. This is a weird year. Cam Newton is undefeated with a bunch of no-name wide receivers and Greg Olsen. Their defense is stellar, their offense is working. They might be even more well-rounded than the P*ts. They might actually stay undefeated in the regular season, with only some of the worst of the NFC left on their schedule. |
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3. |
Cincinnati Bengals |
Record 8-1. And then there were 2. The Bengals imploded against the Texans. Bengals fans booed the best team in franchise history. At least the Broncos aren't the only team with privileged fans. Welcome back to prime time television, Andy. We missed you. |
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4. |
Arizona Cardinals
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Record 7-2. The Cardinals finally beat the Seahawks at home! We've all been waiting for Carson Palmer to play them again, and show everyone that the Seahawks defense, particularly their secondary **cough** Richard Sherman **cough** is overrated. The Cardinals, on the other hand, rival the Broncos secondary. They are the real deal this year if they can stay healthy. Glad to hear Iupati was okay after he took a nasty hit and was sent to the hospital. |
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5. |
Denver Broncos |
Record 7-2. I wish I could keep the Broncos in the top 3, but there was nothing to brag about in this week's performance. Peyton Manning was injured, and he and the coaches tried to cover it. I hope they learned their lesson, apparently last season's ending wasn't enough. Bright spot- the defense somehow prevented the game from spiraling out of control without the help of Talib or Ware. They never stopped fighting, even when it was clear they already lost. That is kicking and screaming. Too bad it wasn't enough to prevent me weeping. I miss the weeks when I just yelled at the TV in anger. Instead, it was more like this: |
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6. |
Green Bay Packers |
Record 6-3. The Packers are having an identity crisis at exactly the wrong time. Rodgers can't seem to find any open receivers, and Eddie Lacy just isn't having a good year. To their credit, the Broncos, Panthers, and Lions all have good defenses. Okay, maybe not the Lions, but as I always say, never bet on a division game. If Lacy can get healthy and the receivers can start getting open, the Packers will get back on track to lead in the NFC. Big test this week against the Vikings, who just overtook them as number one in the NFC North. |
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7. |
Minnesota Vikings |
Record 7-2. The Vikings did what we love most, beat the Raiders. Bridgewater came back after losing consciousness after a hit last week, and lit up Jack Del Rio's defense. Let's see what they can do against their division rival Packers. |
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8. |
Pittsburgh Steelers |
Record 6-4. Ben Roethlisberger wasn't even supposed to play this week, but Landry Jones was injured in the first quarter. The Steelers went through 2 kickers, and now they have gone through 3 QBs. Good thing Big Ben is a freak of nature and played like nothing was wrong with him. The Steelers scare me, to be honest. Unfortunately the Broncos have to play them when they are off of a late bye week. |
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9. |
Atlanta Falcons |
Record 6-3. The Falcons looked like the real deal at the beginning of the season. Devonta Freeman is a freak of nature, and will just continue to improve. Keep in mind their new coach was the Seahawks defensive coordinator for their two super bowl years, including last year after their 2-3 start to the season. The guy knows how to adjust to some losses. |
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10. |
Buffalo Bills |
Record 5-4. Sexy Rexy got the sweetest revenge on the team that canned him last season. It was an early Christmas for the Bills. |
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11. |
New York Jets |
Record 5-4. The Jets are still a legit team. I just wish they could have taken down Tom Brady the first time. I still have hope they can do it when Tom is in their house and he and Belicheat can't mess with the locker room. Seriously though, the Jets have a great defense, don't cast them aside for losing to their former coach. |
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12. |
Kansas City Chiefs |
Record 4-5. This hurts. I don't like it. So I'll just leave you with this play, to remind you that the Chiefs are dirty players.
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13. |
Oakland Raiders |
Record 4-5. The Raiders were brought back to earth by the Vikings. That doesn't mean they don't scare me, with their young quarterback and super old interception machine. But then I remember that Jack Del Rio is their coach. |
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14. |
New York Giants |
Record 4-5. ONE JOB, you had ONE JOB. Not to let Tom Brady get the first down on 4th and 10 on their last play. |
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15. |
Seattle Seahawks |
Record 4-5. The Seahawks are finally coming back to earth! Even when the refs tried to help them win, they couldn't come back against the red hot division rival Cardinals! My dreams are finally coming true, people are realizing that the Seahawks are NOT GOOD. Seriously, enough with the bad offensive line excuses, what did you think would happen when you traded your pro-bowl center for a tight end who is known to be a horrible blocker, with a quarterback who has never been much of an accurate passer? As someone living in Seattle, trust me when I say, Seahawks tears taste so good. |
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16. |
Indianapolis Colts |
Record 4-5. Andrew Luck played with injured ribs, and then we ruptured his kidney. It will be hard for the Colts to make the playoffs without Luck as their quarterback, so I'll make the bold claim that it probably wasn't worth the sacrifice. I hope he heals quickly, that guy is fun to watch when he isn't beating the Broncos. Horse bros 4 lyfe. |
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17. |
St. Louis Rams |
Record 4-5. What the heck happened? Why are the Rams so good against elite teams and so bad against bad ones? The Rams went in with one of the best run defenses in the league, and then let Jeremy Langford run all over them. On the other hand. Todd Gurley is a beast. |
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18. |
Washington Redskins |
Record 4-5. "You like that?!" Kirk Cousins tore apart Rob Ryan's defense, and now Rob Ryan is jobless.
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19. |
Chicago Bears |
Record 4-5. Adam Gase learned some tricks from Peyton Manning, and he's actually helping the Bears improve. Even with Smokin' Jay Cutler and his "who gives a crap" attitude. |
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20. |
Philadelphia Eagles |
Record 4-5. Sam Bradford is injured again, and the Sanchize is in full force. Chip Kelly is trying to prove he's a competent coach with all of his offensive weapons. Luckily they beat the struggling Dolphins this week. |
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21. |
Houston Texans |
Record 4-5. The Houston Texans found their mojo coming off of a bye week, and took down the undefeated Bengals, with Yates(?) as their quarterback. Now, if only they can do that to the Patriots next. |
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22. |
Miami Dolphins |
Record 4-5. Poor Dolphins, I miss Dan Marino too. |
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23. |
New Orleans Saints |
Record 4-6. Just when we think Drew Brees can save their season, the defense blows it to Kirk Cousins. Sorry Rob, you were fun to watch on the sideline, but your time has passed. Maybe if the Saints implode, Elway can cook up some magic and sign Brees next off season when he's a free agent. |
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24. |
Detroit Lions |
Record 2-7. Maybe Jim Bob Cooter can give this team some life, after all. The Lions pulled off a huge upset of the Packers this week, at Lambeau. Impressive. |
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25. |
Jacksonville Jaguars |
Record 3-6. Blake Bortles and the Jags finally won a game! They beat the... |
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26. |
Baltimore Ravens |
Record 3-6. The Ravens didn't envision this as their season. Sorry I'm not sorry the Broncos started their downward spiral. I'm still mad about 2012. So sue me. |
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27. |
Dallas Cowboys |
Record 2-7. I have nothing good to say about this team or the people who play for it. |
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28. |
San Diego Chargers |
Record 2-7. Sorry Phillip, your crazy yardage isn't helping the Chargers come out of this hole, and it's about that time of year for you to start throwing tantrums again. |
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29. |
San Francisco 49ers |
Record 3-6. Bye week. It's clear that the 49ers and ready to strip down to nothing and rebuild. I wonder if they still think benching Alex Smith was a good idea. Really, I wonder. |
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30. |
Tampa Bay Buccaneers |
Record 2-7. Rookie Winston is having a pretty typical rookie season. Glimmers of good and bad. Thank you for beating the Cowboys though. |
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31. |
Tennessee Titans |
Record 2-7. The Titans really just can't catch a break. I still think Mariota is the better pick than Winston, but it doesn't seem like either of them have been a game changer yet. |
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32. |
Cleveland Browns |
Record 2-8. Tough stuff this season, like every season in Cleveland. I honestly just feel bad for Browns fans. I give you all permission to jump on a bandwagon, everyone deserves to know what winning feels like at some point. On the bright side, there are so many bad teams this year, that the Browns could easily climb out of the bottom ten before the end of the season. |