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Power Rankings Week 14: Broncos beat Chargers in their ninth home game

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The Broncos continued to win, but so did the Panthers. Does this affect the top of the rankings? Lets find out.

Jake Roth-USA TODAY Sports

Breaking News: Tim is on the IR for power rankings, and Kelly is on the PUP list. But like the Broncos, it's "Next man up", so I'm filling in the only way I know how; with zero preparation, zero statistics, and zero f's to give for other people telling me I ranked the Patriots too low or the Broncos too high. Remember people, if you want me to go down the win loss column to give the teams with the best record the top spots and those with the worst record the bottom spots, then you miss the point of power rankings. Sure, that tends to happen, but rankings are more about who the best teams are TODAY, not what their record is. There's a strong correlation between the two, but it doesn't always shake out that way.

Here are your week 14 power rankings!

1.
Denver Broncos

Record 10-2. Sweet Baby Jesus Pete, how can you justify keeping the Broncos at #1? Aside from the fact that it's me doing these and not you so I can, let me explain. The Broncos are playing a lot like the 2000 Ravens; out of this universe defense, and just enough offense to secure the win. Defense is a recipe for championships, and the Broncos have the best one in the NFL. Once they stopped turning the ball over on offense, you saw how difficult it actually is for a team to stay in a game. How much longer can the Broncos stay on top? That depends on if the Broncos offense wants to wake up a little or not. Brock needs to continue to grow, and I believe he will. That's all it takes for them to remain the top billing in these rankings. Trent Dilfer anyone?

2.
Carolina Panthers

Record 12-0. I'm not gonna lie, I had the Panthers #1 initially. But who do I trust more, Cam Newton or Chris Harris Jr? That's an easy choice to make. I'll take the player who hasn't melted down both on and off the field for multiple years at a time. Sure, we're seeing "Good Cam", but when will "Bad Cam" or "Aloof Cam" or "I'm crying like a baby Cam" rear his ugly head? I'm betting in the playoffs, just like the Bengals. Sure, you can beat the Saints, but can you beat the Broncos? Sir! No sir!

3.
Arizona Cardinals

Record 10-2. Larry Fitzgerald became the youngest WR to 1,000 receptions on Sunday as the Cardinals steamrolled the Rams at home. Remember the Rams? They have been playing tough lately and seem to always upset good teams. But not this team. The Cardinals are a very scary team. Again, until the playoffs. But something will have to give because someone has to go to the Super Bowl. Will it be the Cardinals or the Panthers? Or someone else? Hmm...

4.
Pittsburgh Steelers

Record 7-5. The Steelers? Really? Yes, really! The Steelers are one of the scariest teams in the entire NFL. They are playing amazing football right now, and although they aren't a lock for the playoffs, I sure wouldn't want to play them. Oh wait, we have to go to Pittsburgh in two weeks? Well, there's a reason the Broncos are ranked #1, it's because we can beat anyone, anywhere, period. But the Steelers can beat most everyone else. Including the teams that occupied the upper portion of these rankings all season long.

5.
Seattle Seahawks

Record 7-5. Disagree? Would you want to play them right now? It pains me to have this team so high, but honestly, they are making mince meat out of everyone, home or away. Scary. They just might make a third straight Super Bowl.

6.
Kansas City Chiefs

Record 7-5. I know what you're thinking right now. You're thinking I've forgotten about the teams with better records than the Steelers, Seahawks, and Chiefs, but I haven't. Again, if you want to rank teams based on their record, just buy a 25cent newspaper, go down the W/L column, and rank teams accordingly. That isn't what power rankings are. Would the Chiefs beat the Bengals right now on a neutral field? I believe they would regardless of their record. Would they beat the Patriots on a neutral field that their spies don't know about? Again, I believe they would. Therefore, they are ranked higher. See? That wasn't so hard, was it. But don't get too cocky Chief fans, you didn't beat us with a real QB manning our team (get it, manning? Why do I even try).

7.
New England Patriots

Record 10-2. The Patsies are finally getting what they deserve. They bitch about penalties, yet the Broncos are far more worthy to complain. They use injuries as an excuse, but the Broncos have far more injuries at much more impactful positions (such as a HALL OF FAME QUARTERBACK!!!). So spare me the excuses chowder heads. Your team is in a funk just like most teams have throughout the year. So stop bitching, tuck that bottom lip back into your mouth, and be like the other 31 teams and wait to get healthy to see what you got. You aren't entitled to anything but crappy winter weather. That's it. Get use to it.

8.
Cincinnati Bengals

Record 10-2. They are playing good football right now, but they gotta prove it to me in a big game first. I'm not even talking playoffs where they turn into declawed kittens. I'm talking about beating a quality team right now. Prove it at home against the Steelers, and you might move up, only to move back down when the Broncos spank you like the bad little red headed step child that you are.

9.
Green Bay Packers

Record 8-4. The Pack finally got back on track Sunday as they beat the Lions in Detroit. The Packers are the perfect example of "don't mess with Denver, cause they'll put a hex on you." If the Packers can get it together, then I'd expect a rematch of last years NFC Championship game.

10.
Indianapolis Colts

Record 6-6. Why the Colts? Simple, they're division champs and I've run out of even semi-respectable teams to put in the Top 10. Don't get a big head Colt fans, your team is still bad.

11.
Buffalo Bills

Record 6-6. Because I think they can beat good teams. Yes, they can lose to bad teams, but I like their grit.

12.
Houston Texans

Record 6-6. Why? Because I think they are one of the 12 best even though they are only marginally decent. Talk about a mediocre parity laden year for the NFL.

13.
Minnesota Vikings

Record 8-4. Boy did they do the Packers a favor on Sunday with that trouncing. Why are they so low? Because you can't lose by 31 at home. You just can't. When you lose by 31 at home, you scream "pretender" to me, and I can't put a pretender in the postseason (you know, top 12 because 12 teams make the playoffs).

14.
New York Jets

Record 7-5. Thank you Brandon Marshall for scoring me mad fantasy points. That's about all I have for the Jets. Way to trim your beard to erase the curse Fitzy. Keep it up, and you might move ahead of the Vikings and be knocking on the Top 12.

15.
Chicago Bears

Record 5-7. How do you go from beating the Packers in Green Bay to losing against the Niners in Chicago? I suppose that's why you're on the outside looking in. It looks cozy up above, doesn't it Foxy Bear? Take that bloated Manning winning record home, you didn't earn it and it shows.

16.
Detroit Lions

Record 4-8. Honesty, when you're down here, does it really matter where you're ranked? Way to keep it close against Green Bay. While it was a proper facemask call that landed you here, it still took a perfect storm miracle to beat you. That has to count for something, right?

17.
Oakland Raiders

Record 5-7. You could have beat the Chiefs and had them join you wayyyyy down here in the dregs of the NFL. But you can't get out of your own way. Looks like as long as a Davis owns that team, you are cursed. Maybe you should sell it to Madden. Maybe he can make you stop beating yourself and making the Chiefs look like a Top 5 team. Top 5!!!! For shame!

18.
Washington Redskins

Record 5-7. Why? Why couldn't you just beat the Cowboys? That's why you're down here. You could have moved way up by hitting 6-6, but nooooooo you had to suck it up like the Falcons. Now we have to listen to Jerry talk about how amazing his team is for winning a game this year. That's unforgivable. Unforgivable.

19.
Atlanta Falcons

Record 6-6. You guys suck. Plain and simple. Why aren't you lower? Because others suck a tad bit worse. You should hand that contract back to the Falcons and apologize to that entire city Matty Ice.

20.
New York Giants

Record 5-7. I think it's finally time for a head coaching change. This team has gone deaf to Tom Coughlin's message, and that happens after darn near 20 years. It's time to move on Tom. This team has talent, but they are basket cases who need a new leader to make them fall in line.

21.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Record 6-6. Jameis Winston is playing .500 football. While this team still isn't great, they aren't a laughing stock anymore. They will at least put up a fight against the middle tier teams, so that's progress.

22.
Baltimore Ravens

Record 4-8. You just lost to a QB who threw for less than 100 yards and a RB who barely got 100 yards. How do you lose? How? It can't simply be because Flacco isn't there. We're winning without our QB, so can you if you were any good. I guess this just isn't your year Ike. I know, lets have a spelling contest.

23.
Jacksonville Jaguars

Record 4-8. Like the Jets, about the only thing I have to say to the Jags is "Thank you for the fantasy points".

24.
St. Louis Rams

Record 4-8. You got blown out at home by the Cardinals, but they are the Cardinals. They are suppose to blow you out. What do they look like, the Seachickens who will lose to you? You're a legitimate QB away from relevance. So go out and get that QB.

25.
Miami Dolphins

Record 5-7. Call me when you beat anyone. Then I'll pay attention to your team. When you don't even pass for 100 yards, those in Denver assume Peyton is playing for you. But he isn't, so you guys must have no future if that's coming from your franchise QB. Sad Miami, just sad.

26.
New Orleans Saints

Record 4-8. I just got back from your wonderful city that I might soon be moving to. I was pulling for you to win, but until that defense gets even to the level of "bad" (an upgrade from pathetic), you just don't stand a realistic chance against anyone in the NFL. Except those ranked below you like the Dolts.

27.
San Diego Chargers

Record 3-9. Hahahahahahaha. That is all. 3 points. That's Cleveland territory San Diego!

28.
Philadelphia Eagles

Record 5-7. I have half a mind to put the Eagles above the Patriots, but I just can't. But boy do I want to. Thank you Philly. Not only do you have a great sandwich and funny tv show (Always Sunny), but you beat the evil empire to boot. For just one day, you are a Top 5 team. Too bad it's Tuesday already, so that one day has long past.

29.
Dallas Cowboys

Record 4-8. Way to barely beat a marginal team. I think signing Romo to an extension was a mistake, and that's playing out in the training room and on the field as just that. He's too mistake prone and too injured to have that contract. But he's still all the Cowboys have. But hey, they finally won a game without him. So, umm, congrats.

30.
San Francisco 49ers

Record 4-8. You finally won, and won against a mediocre team. Nice job. But what does this offseason have in store? New coach? New QB? New coordinators? Something has to give. You don't go from contenders with Harbaugh to laughing stock in a year without it being solely on the coaches.

31.
Tennessee Titans

Record 3-9. Hey, look at that, you won! You beat the high powered Jaguars. Congrats, you are no longer the worst of the worst.

32.
Cleveland Browns

Record 3-9. But you guys didn't win, so you are the new worst team in the NFL. Go put your midget QB in there to run around, throw it around, and seal the deal for the #1 seed so you can get a real QB back there. Hoyer deserves a better team than the Browns.