With the release of the 2015 regular season schedule comes a plethora of predictions ranging from 8-8 to 16-0. Only the crazy people, aka Oakland Raiders fans, think these Denver Broncos will finish the season with more losses than victories.
It's been a long offseason for me, one which has seen me take the proverbial step back for a few months. The grind wears you down sometimes. I'm excited to getting back into the fold here with what I do best - half-cocked analysis of things that don't really have any bearing on anything. You know, power rankings, schedule predictions, etc.
And I could run through each game and tell you that I think the Denver Broncos will go 15-1 with their one loss coming on the road against Indianapolis, but I won't. Instead of telling you what will happen, I think I'll just give my reasoning how the Broncos could win or lose each game and leave the win-loss decisions to you fine folks (Hint: The correct answer is 15-1).
Week 1 - Sept. 13th vs Baltimore Ravens
Broncos Win: Peyton Manning will be anxious to prove the fork hasn't been stuck in him just yet and though he may not throw seven touchdowns in this game, I would bet he gets at least four. The crowd will be rowdy and having a blast, which will only help inspire great defense and a great first win of the 2015 regular season.
Broncos Lose: If the Broncos lose then its either due to the fork being well stuck in Manning's career or the Ravens come out ticked off that Gary Kubiak abandoned them. Joe Flacco throws for 400 yards and five touchdowns to remind Broncos Country of the lost 2012 season.
Week 2 - Sept. 17th at Kansas City Chiefs (TNF)
Broncos Win: The Broncos win because Peyton Manning never loses to the Chiefs, despite Bronco Mike's annual prediction of a road loss to Kansas City again this year. Which reminds me, I need to thank for him for the double jinx again this year. It's going to be fun to embarrass the Chiefs on national television ... in their own house.
Broncos Lose: The Broncos could lose because of the prime time factor. Home teams tend to play above their ability when the entire nation is watching them. I for one, will not want to be around Mile High Report if the Broncos someone find a way to lose this game. It's going to be no bueno when those mouth breathers from Arrowhead Pride come over here to gloat.
Week 3 - Sept. 27th at Detroit Lions (SNF)
Broncos Win: Matthew Stafford has 400 yards with two touchdowns and three interceptions and the Broncos beat the Lions by 17. That's pretty much how Stafford's career trajectory has panned out so far. The No Fly Zone will take care of him and Chris Johnson.
Broncos Lose: Again, the prime time factor is the big question mark. At least, though, if the Broncos lose this game there won't be a swarm of mouth breathing fans descending upon us to rub their 500 year playoff drought in our faces over a pointless regular season win.
Week 4 - Oct. 4th vs Minnesota Vikings
Broncos Win: If the first three games were somewhat tough, the Broncos then enter a three game stretch of cup cakes. The Broncos defense should have no trouble handling Teddy Bridgewater and the Vikings fledgling offense, nor should the Broncos offense have trouble putting up points.
Broncos Lose: The Vikings somehow make Adrian Peterson love them again and AP comes out with a vengeance upon the NFL. He rushes for 300 yards and four touchdowns in a road beating of Peyton Manning and the Broncos. LOL, I know, but hey ... It could happen.
Week 5 - Oct. 11th at Oakland Raiders
Broncos Win: The Broncos could win this game in so many ways that I am not smart enough to pick the most likely outcome. Let's say the Broncos rush for 250 yards and Manning adds another 250 through the air for at least a forty-burger. Sound good? I think so too.
Broncos Lose: The Broncos could lose to the Raiders if aliens come to planet Earth and abduct the Broncos five best players, but even then they might still pull off a late field goal for the win. The Raiders are a joke and the Oakland Colosseum is one of the worst stadium in the galaxy.
Week 6 - Oct. 18th at Cleveland Browns
Broncos Win: I actually like the Browns defensive unit, but how many sandbags can they throw in Manning's way to keep the storm from flooding through? My guess is about three full quarters, then the Broncos go into their Bye Week winning by two scores.
Broncos Lose: The Browns defense comes out and frustrates Manning all game long, coming away with five interceptions and two touchdowns to win by a point, 14-13. Because the Browns offense is going to be h-o-r-r-i-b-l-e.
Week 7 - BYE WEEK
Broncos win because the Bye Week is always a win.
Week 8 - Nov. 1st vs Green Bay Packers (SNF)
Broncos Win: The Broncos win because they get two weeks to prepare for Aaron Rodgers and the Packers, but also because the Orange Crush crowd is going to be so insane that Rodgers won't even be able to hear himself think, much less run an offense. Broncos win big.
Broncos Lose: If the Broncos lose its because the Packers are as good as many of think they are and that fluke of blowing a huge lead in the playoffs to an above average Seahawks team has given them reason for revenge on every team in the NFL for 2015.
Week 9 - Nov. 8th at Indianapolis Colts
Broncos Win: Peyton Manning strikes me as the kind of guy who wouldn't want to lose two in a row to his former team in the house that he built. Though I think the Broncos drop this game after an emotionally draining win the week before, I will never count The Sheriff out in these kinds of games.
Broncos Lose: Coming off a tough win against a Super Bowl contender against a quarterback like Andrew Luck would mean a loss to most NFL teams. The Broncos are pretty darn good, though, so this is one game I'm actually looking forward to watching. Plus, Manning could break Brett Favre's passing yardage record in this one.
Week 10 - Nov. 15th vs Kansas City Chiefs
Broncos Win: As I mentioned earlier, Peyton Manning destroys the Chiefs despite Bronco Mike's desire to see the Chiefs win a playoff game. It's true, I asked my cat about it and she said that Mike is secretly a complete Chiefs homer. Anyway, Manning will finish undefeated as a Bronco when facing teams from Missouri - but only when not counting teams from St. Louis.
Broncos Lose: I suppose Manning could get injured being a 39 year old senior citizen, so if that happens I would expect Brock Osweiler to be a complete disaster. Sorry folks, I'm with Ian Henson on this one. I do not believe in Brock at all. I love him as a backup who never plays a down, though!
Week 11 - Nov. 22nd at Chicago Bears
Broncos Win: The Broncos defense will feast on Jay Cutler's overrated arm and quickly route a Bears team that John Fox still hasn't found a way to win a game with. The good news will be that the Broncos will lock up the AFC West division title so early we all start talking about whether the Broncos should rest Manning for a few weeks. But not next week.
Broncos Lose: I'm getting tired of trying to think of ways the Broncos will lose these games. It's bringing me down. Is it bringing you guys and gals down too? I hope so, because losing sucks. The Broncos won't lose this game. Period.
Week 12 - Nov. 29th vs New England Patriots (SNF)
Broncos Win: The Broncos finally - and I mean FINALLY - have a home game during the regular season against Tom Brady and the Patriots. This is going to be one of the best games of the year, so clear your freaking calendars. At the end of the day, the Broncos win this game on a rushing touchdown. Because, why not.
Broncos Lose: Tom Brady is the greatest quarterback ever to play in the NFL. You'll whine about that statement in the comments, I am sure, but a year after he retires or two years or three years as the Patriots struggle to even get back to the playoffs my statement will begin to become more clear to the more logically-minded of you out there. If the Broncos lose its because Tom Brady goes into FU mode late and wins the game John Elway-style. He won't though, cause Von Miller is going to crush his soul.
Week 13 - Dec. 6th at San Diego Chargers
Broncos Win: The Broncos win this game, because Brian Dawkins said so. Peyton Manning will shred the Chargers defense for a ton of points and yards to move the Broncos to 11-1 and in complete command of homefield advantage. Doesn't that sound so good?
Broncos Lose: The only AFC West to beat Peyton Manning and the Broncos since 2012 was these same Chargers. They are the only AFC West worthy, but they are also in decline and Phillip Rivers is going all off-season Jay Cutler on their asses right now. It's a thing of beauty.
Harris Jr. likes being 'on an island' - and being
The Broncos' cornerback knows he's worth more money 'on the market' than his five-year deal might suggest, but that doesn't matter to him.
Week 14 - Dec. 13th vs Oakland Raiders
Broncos Win: Again, so many ways the Broncos could obliterate these Jokeland Raiders. Let's just predict touchdowns from all three phases and enough points to lap the Raiders final score by three times.
Broncos Lose: LOL. Nope, not even alien abductions can make this happen.
Week 15 - Dec. 20th at Pittsburgh Steelers
Broncos Win: If Tim Tebow can beat the Steelers, then I think Peyton Manning has a reasonable shot. Besides, the Steelers are looking like a shell of their former self and I just don't know how they intend to compete in the AFC. In this game, however, the Broncos running game will need to be strong to come out on top.
Broncos Lose: Ben Roethlisberger is known to play out of his mind at various stretches of his career, so if the Broncos roll into his house during one of those stretches they could have their hands full. That and Le'Veon Bell could factor in as a potential problem for the Broncos defense as well.
Week 16 - Dec. 28th vs Cincinnati Bengals (MNF)
Broncos Win: Oh sweet revenge. Andy Dalton will be feasted upon by Von Miller and DeMarcus Ware, while his passes will be feasted upon by Chris Harris Jr and Aqib Talib. The Broncos will annihilate the Bengals in sweet revenge from the 2014 regular season to secure home field advantage through the playoffs.
Broncos Lose: Somehow, Andy Dalton becomes John Elway and walks into Denver to shock the home team with another win over the Peyton Manning-led Broncos. Hey, it could happen.
Week 17 - Jan. 3rd vs San Diego Chargers
Broncos Win: The NFL gets it right putting the first and second place teams in the AFC West up against each other in the season finale. The problem is, the Broncos will destroy the Chargers to lap the second place 7-9 Chargers for their 15th and final win of the regular season. Manning finishes with 4500 yards and 40 touchdowns. Why? Because he's Peyton FREAKING Manning, that's why.
Broncos Lose: With homefield advantage secured, Peyton Manning watches Brock Osweiler try to play quarterback and the Broncos get spanked to fall to 14-2 on the season.
So there you have it. How many wins do you have the Broncos logging during the 2015 regular season?