If Peter King can put together garbage power rankings that make no sense, then so can I! Except, I won't pretend to be serious or pretend I know more than anyone else does. All I do know is that King's rankings are a bigger joke than the rankings you are about to read in today's Horse Tracks. Maybe...
Instead of ordering by numbers, I'll just break the league up in neat little categories. We love labels in this country anyway, so let's label them.
Crème de la Crème
These are the teams that I believe will be legitimate Super Bowl contenders. Any team not on this list will be the longest of long shots, because in the NFL there is only parity within the muck in the middle. Like the 1%, these teams just have it all and aren't interested in giving anything back to the unwashed poor.
Denver Broncos. Yep, old Peyton Manning may be losing what little steps he has and his arm may be a little weaker, but the brain is still as sharp as ever and you can guarantee he will adjust to whatever physical impairments he may have to win 13 games again in 2015. The key to the Lombardi Trophy will be Gary Kubiak and the running game, because come January these Broncos will need to be running over opposing defenses for wins.
Green Bay Packers. Aaron Rodgers had no business losing in such a fluky fashion against Seattle last season and these Packers should be just as good, if not better than they were in 2014.
New England Patriots. This will anger people here, but once Tom Brady comes back from suspension he will be in full F.U. mode to the entire NFL and its collective fanbase. The #2 seed will once again be the team we all have come to despise.
Seattle Seahawks. I could not really think of any other NFC team to put up here in this list and as much as I want to fade the Seahawks again in 2015, they are probably still the second best team in their conference. Their fluky ways of winning will eventually catch up to them. I personally hope it starts this season.
Indianapolis Colts. The Colts, in my opinion, do not draft very well or do well enough in free agency to win a Super Bowl. Unless, that is, an other worldly quarterback can will them to a championship like Manning did in 2006 and Andrew Luck will likely have to do at some point in his career. Bad ownership, people. It matters.
Pretenders to the Throne
Dallas Cowboys. Sorry folks, but the offseason Cowboys hype needs to be put to an end here. Just because the Cowboys appear to be above average in talent, doesn't mean they are going to be winning any Super Bowls.
Baltimore Ravens. Losing Gary Kubiak is going to be a blow to this offense and the defense is still young. The AFC North is going to be a battle and I wouldn't sleep on any of those teams in the playoffs.
Cincinnati Bengals. Same as above. Does anyone really think Andy Dalton will be a huge threat come playoff season? I don't.
New Orleans Saints. Drew Brees is a Hall of Fame quarterback, but he seems to have lost something. He has an ability to explode for five touchdown passes at any time, but I'm just not a believer in this team anymore.
Pittsburgh Steelers. I am borderline on the Steelers even belonging in this category. We'll see...
Arizona Cardinals. I was fading the Cardinals all year long in 2014. Why? Because they are the friggin' Cardinals! I've taken my medicine there and will be looking for them to challenge the Seahawks in the NFC West.
Detroit Lions. Having Matthew Stafford means two things. One, you are going to see a ton of yards and touchdowns. Two, you are going to see a ton of interceptions. If he ever gets it together for a season, the Lions could be a very dangerous contender in the NFC.
Muck in the Middle
Rather than go into detail as to why each team is in the muck, I'll just list them out. They really are not worth my time. I'll just bold the teams I think could break through for a playoff spot for a nice one-and-done season.
AFC: Buffalo Bills, Miami Dolphins, New York Jets, Houston Texans, San Diego Chargers, Kansas City Chiefs
NFC: Philadelphia Eagles, New York Giants, Chicago Bears, Carolina Panthers, Atlanta Falcons, St. Louis Rams
Now we get to the final label. The worst of the worst. The dung heap of the NFL. Legitimate dumpster fires. These teams are so bad that it would take an act of God to produce a playoff berth. Anyone willing to take that bet?
AFC: Cleveland Browns, Tennessee Titans, Jacksonville Jaguars,
NFC: Washington Redskins, Minnesota Vikings, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, San Francisco 49ers
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