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Week 1 NFL picks: Patriots will cheat, err, beat Steelers in NFL opener

Here's the plan. Each week, I predict every NFL game. Thursday's will be for Thursday Night Football, and Saturday will be for the rest. Then each Tuesday, I will explain why I was the smartest person in the room and completely ignore the picks I got wrong, per main stream media procedure. Sound good? Good. Lets get to it!

Mark L. Baer-USA TODAY Sports

Football is finally here! The eight month layoff has been brutal, has it not?

Well, wait no longer my fellow football fanatics, for football is back! What will the storylines be this season? Will it be more Patriots scandal? How about how well everyone's #1 QB fantasy pick fairs without his favorite target? How about Peyton Manning wearing the glove once again, even though he tried playing without it in the preseason? Again, it's part of him baiting the trap for the NFL.

Now onto the picks:

Last Week: 0-0
Overall: 0-0

Pittsburgh Steelers (0-0) at New England Patriots (0-0) TNF

I expect big things from Ben Roethlisberger this season. I really really do. I think he's a Tier 2 quarterback who is knocking on Tier 1 status. He can stand tough in the pocket, he's mobile, he can throw on the run, he can do it all. He has an elite WR in Antonio Brown, he has an elite RB in Le'Veon Bell, and although the defense is a bit of a question mark (ranked #29 in preseason), I just can't imagine a Steelers team without at least a respectable defense.

On the flip side is the most unmoral, unethical, and cheating franchise in all of major sports. The New England Cheatriots. Pete Rose has been banned from his sport for doing less than Robert Kraft, Bill Bilicheat, and Tom Brady.

Perhaps the pending demise of Mr. Perfect's split with his supermodel wife will loom heavy on his head? After all, the evolution of Tom Brady has been completed, so why wouldn't she find a more suitable partner?

As with everything New England related, they don't necessarily need the best talent in order to win. Hell, they can just steal gameplans from the locker rooms. That usually does the trick for them. Why try to win straight up when you can just have your good buddy the Commissioner cover up your crimes en route to hollow victories?

Even with all of that said, they still have a great system QB, the best TE in the game in Rob Gronkowski, and, well, amazingly efficient spies.

What does this all boil down to? I'm glad you asked.

Prediction: This game should be closer than it will be. The emotions from both teams will be high, but the home field advantage, including spy cams, hidden microphones, bought-off employees to steal game plans and all will simply be too much to overcome. New England 34, Pittsburgh 27