Panic Room, 9/13/15 Edition


Opening day is in the books and the Broncos are 1-0! We beat the Ravens today, and there is plenty to panic about. The themes from preseason continued, with the defense dominating and the offense disappointing. Let's get to it.

Oh. My. God. This offense is soooooo bad! We can't run the ball, we can't pass the ball, we might as well cut the whole offense and punt it every single play! Manning didn't throw a touchdown and we aren't going to win a single game for the rest of the season! He needs to retire, yesterday!

OH SH*T!!!!! The defense wasn't able to shut out the Ravens! How on earth can this team survive with our offense being so bad if the defense can't shut out EVERYBODY?!? Number 1 overall pick, here we come!

(I had this one on a previous edition of Panic Room, but I thought it was very apropo.) Aaaaugh! Our O-line is seriously the WORST thing I have ever seen! Manning will be sacked every single play!

OMG, you guys, did you see how we couldn't score a single touchdown on Special Teams? Have you ever seen Special Teams as bad as ours in your life? I really think they could challenge for the worst Special Teams in the history of the NFL!

OH NOES!! Von Miller didn't get a sack! He probably won't get one all season!

And now for the worst thing of all: Kubiak didn't make the right adjustments at halftime and we didn't score 50 points!!! Come on Elway, what were you thinking?!? Worst. Hire. Ever.

Edit: I feel like I should add this disclaimer. Please don't take the things said in this post too seriously. What is discussed here consists of either made-up issues that don't exist or real issues that are exaggerated and blown way out of proportion. Either way, this is meant for humor.

This is a Fan-Created Comment on The opinion here is not necessarily shared by the editorial staff of MHR.