The NFL this week has been another one full of WTH?! Just throw some names against a wall and whomever sticks, gets my top. The ones that slide down the wall and stay, are the middle, and the ones who don't even hit the wall, but land in a gooey mess on the floor, are in the bottom. Duh.
BRONCOS- I’m a homer, so I'm still ranking them first, even after a sad, sad loss. That's all I'm saying.
COWBOYS- Dak wasn't good in college at making decisions, something in the Dallas water has fixed that problem and now Romo is looking for that elixir.
FALCONS- Worst play call all year. Enough said.
VIKINGS- Still winning without AP is a thumbs up from me. Not in 1st because I like them less than the Cowboys.
BILLS- Run game was god, QB or RB. When you make 61% of your 3rd downs, you're going to win. And they beat the Pats*, so I'm keeping them in the top five out of gratefulness.
PATRIOTS*- A healthy Gronk is a dangerous Gronk. I disliked them a whole lot less when Jimmy, Jacoby and QB#4 played.
STEELERS- Pittsburgh or London, neither landscape is the same without a Big Ben.
EAGLES- Have been declawed. 19 rushing plays and 11 completions isn't going to beat anyone...except the Browns.
SEATTLE- Russell Wilson looked like a 1st time starter. One who's saved by his defense. A win from a botched call doesn't move you.
CARDINALS- Yay, they beat Fitz and Gino, so would the Browns after that QB showing. Ok, I exagerated. A little. A lot. But, Fitz made BO’s performance look dang good.
GIANTS- This team looks so bad and yet they've won. Even with a WAG who's a net.
BENGALS- One of those teams that looks good, until you see them without their Spanx*
RAVENS- If you throw 307 yards and not a single TD, you've laid an egg, a Giants sized one.
BUCCANEERS- Still without Doug Martin making them one dimensional, but they're 2-0 in their division. Football is weird. A bye let them savor a winning feeling.
CHARGERS- Sigh. Rivers is the most under-rated QB in the league, probably because he looks and acts like Jethro Bodine. Rednecks rule.
CHIEFS- Win without a passing TD, which doesn't say a whole lot about them or the raiders, who actually did.
PACKERS- I'm sorry Aaron, I drafted you in FF. I'm sure as soon as I drop you, you'll find the MVP guy living deep, deep inside you, like the passes you used to make.
TEXANS- Have a horrible QB who makes three good throws a game and has a good defense. Fans should be thrilled they're in this division and not one with good teams.
JAGS- This team is a QB coach whisperer away from not stinking. Bortles lacks touch and a brain, but who's counting?
SAINTS- Still need a prayer or forty, to get them out of the just barely hit the wall, group.
The hot mess...
COLTS- Uffta. They played against the 32bd worst QB in the league, who played all but three passes like it, and still lost. Time for Irsay to buy a defense or some more time in rehab.
JETS- Jets, jets, jets looked like jorts, jorts, jorts. Fitz and BO should form a, we ripped off our team, club. �
DOLPHINS- Gase loves his big yardage games, too bad his QB can't throw a TD.
TITANS- Mariotta, the 33 ranked QB, showing that the Browns make everyone look good.
49ers- Flip a coin on QB because neither are impressive. Maybe Kaep should try a man bun, next, big harrrr isn't working. Plus, when you make 23% of your 3rd downs, you're in trouble.
BROWNS- Each year we think they can't get worse and then they do. This franchise needs a do over...in Canada.