Week 5 NFL Picks: Let the battle of the 1-3 teams begin

Week 4 is in the books, and both Tim and I had our ups and down. Hey, can't win them all, right?
But here's the thing. This 2015 season is kind of a mystery in the fact that some of the teams that the "experts" in the MSM have been pumping (Carolina) up are crap, and the teams they disrespect on a daily (Denver) are amazing.

While this is somewhat baffling, it kinda makes sense when you take a break, stand back, and look at the situation.

You see, Carolina really did come out of nowhere last year to reach the super bowl. Cam Newton was thought to be a fragile mental midget, and then last year, all the pieces fell into place and he became the MVP. You see, the Main Stream Media wants you to believe that they are legit while a team like Denver is a fluke. But riddle me this: Who has had the longer lasting success? Denver or Carolina? So why would Denver suddenly be the fluke and Carolina be the future?

It really should come as no surprise that teams like Carolina might be a 1 hit wonder team and fall back to earth. It should also come as no surprise that a historical powerhouse like Denver would be atop the NFL. My point is that when looking at teams, the so called "experts" need to do a better job at not knee jerking and throwing a blind eye at greatness for the newest flash in the pan. 

It's why this year's upstart teams like Philly and Minnesota and LA will probably get all the love in next offseason's power rankings, only to crush the spirits of their fan bases. You see, just like 1st round rookie QBs, the bust rate is actually higher than the success rate. Flashes in the pan is what they are, and I bet that 2 of those 3 teams I mentioned above will be just that: Flashes in the pan. Meanwhile, teams like Denver will get disrespected because we're a dusty ol cow town who can't possibly know a thing or two about a thing or two. Ugh. Anyways, onto the picks!

Arizona Cardinals (1-3) vs San Francisco 49ers (1-3) NFLF Thursday 6:25pm

See? Case in point. This is what makes this season so baffling. The Cardinals SHOULD be really damn good right now. Hell, many predicted them to reach the Super Bowl (regardless of how I caution to not do that because Carson Palmer is a playoff mental midget choke artist), but this is the regular season. They should be 3-1 or better by now. But nope! Same 'ol early 2000's Cardinals. The good news for them is that they get an easy win against the 9ers, who couldn't play their way out of a wet paper bag. Prediction: Cardinals 31, 49ers 13

New England Patriots (3-1) vs Cleveland Browns (0-4) CBS 11am

Everyone's fantasy teams will officially become dominant come 11am Sunday! Yes, Tom Brady is back. Think what you want about him, but he's about to tear the NFL a new one! My prediction? My prediction is he ends the year as the #1 fantasy QB despite missing 4 games. Oh, my prediction for the game? Prediction: Patriots 56, Browns 3

Philadelphia Eagles (3-0) vs Detroit Lions (1-3) FOX 11am

What a story the Eagles are. If the 49ers aren't proof enough that Chip Kelly doesn't belong in the NFL, then surely Philly is, right? Much like Denver with John Fox, the firing of Kelly was addition by subtraction. Now to see if it can last and the bottom doesn't fall out from under young Carson Wentz's feet. If this game were played a few years ago with Detroits megastar defense in tact, I might take Detroit, but I just don't know if home field advantage will be enough for this struggling franchise to unseat an undefeated team. Prediction: Eagles 23, Lions 24

Chicago Bears (1-3) vs Indianapolis Colts (1-3) FOX 11am

Here's the deal with the Colts. They suck. They really really really do suck. I'm not even sure I think Andrew Luck is a top 10 QB in the NFL anymore. Seriously, one can't look like complete dog crap for 3 quarters before turning on the magic. That's what Tebow Luck is doing, and yet he's still considered possibly the best QB to have? Spare me the offensive line issues. He makes more than enough mistakes in a clean pocket or rolling out to have that excuse thrown out with the bath water. Fortunately for him, he's playing a John Fox team, and when it comes to Foxy Bear, well, there are no depths that he can't sink a team to! Prediction: Colts 27, Bears 17

Tennessee Titans (1-3) vs Miami Dolphins (1-3) CBS 11am

Hooray, more 1-3 teams squaring off. How ever shall I pick a winner from the flaming bag of dog poo and the steaming pile of cow manure? Coin flip says I'm taking Miami, but only if the hurricane doesn't wipe them out first. Prediction: Titans 13, Miami 16

Washington Redskins (2-2) vs Baltimore Ravens (3-1) FOX 11am

Pretenders vs Pretenders. I want to pick the Ravens, but they just lost to the Raiders. How can I pick them to win when they can't even beat Oakland? How? No, really, how? I'm asking all of you on here! To recap, the Redskins are starting to win, and the Ravens are starting to lose. Hmm... decisions decisions. Prediction: Skins 24, Ravens 27

Houston Texans (3-1) vs Minnesota Vikings (4-0) CBS 11am

This is gonna be a rough outing for Brock. If the Patriots shut him down cold, man, what the Vikings are about to do is just straight filthy! Then again, maybe the Vikings crash back to earth? Or maybe the Vikings are the 2016 version of the Panthers and will darn near run the table before crashing back to earth in 2017? For how easy this game should be for Minnesota, I think it's going to be closer than a lot of people think. Prediction: Texans 13, Vikings 14

New York Jets (1-3) vs Pittsburgh Steelers (3-1) CBS 11am

Seriously, how big of a bullet did Elway dodge by not pursuing Fitzpatrick? This dude is about to be benched for Geno Smith. If I'm the Jets front office, I'm demanding my money back! And if that weren't bad enough, the Steelers basically have their actual "starting offense" healthy, unsuspended, and together for the first time in forever! And it looked straight scary last week. Just imagine how many points they'll score with Fitzy gifting them 3-4 turnovers? Prediction:  Jets 13, Steelers 45

Atlanta Falcons (3-1) vs Denver Broncos (4-0) FOX 2:05pm

This game is the real "game of the week." The Falcons have a tremendously balanced and effective offense. The Broncos have an all time defense with a very serviceable offense. Here's the monkey wrench in this game: Who is the Broncos QB? If it's Siemian, I just don't know. He should be fine, but man, even though it's a non-throwing shoulder injury, that will 100% impact his throwing motion and we might see him duck while throwing if he's under duress to preserve his body. That in my book is called "playing scared" and I don't like it. But then you have Paxton Lynch. Who knows how he'll fair. He looked decent last week, but can he do that the entire game? The good news is that the Falcons don't exactly put up much resistance to opposing offenses, so we're probably fine either way, but we will likely need more than the normal allotment of points to win. So which QB can get that done? The rookie? Or the injured starter? Prediction: Falcons 27, Denver 31 (Lynch starts)

Cincinnati Bengals (2-2) vs Dallas Cowboys (3-1) CBS 2:25pm

I need a good "flip to it during commercial breaks" game, and I'm really hoping this game will be worthy of it. Not because I like the Bengals or the Cowboys, but c'mon, the other 2pm games look pretty awful. The Cowboys are at home, which should be a good thing, but somehow it never is. The Bengals are on the road, which should be a bad thing. So which side blinks first? Dez isn't playing, so they're gonna have to lean on Dak to make plays by himself again. But hey, he did it last week, right? So why not this week? Oh, because the Dunlop boys might have something to say about that. Prediction: Bengals 30, Cowboys 27

Buffalo Bills (2-2) vs Los Angeles Rams (3-1) CBS 2:25pm

This game should be pretty low scoring. Rex loves him some defense, and the Rams are really damn good on D as well. This game won't be sexy at all. It's going to be ugly and a defensive battle. Which lends me to believe that whenever we're suppose to have defensive battles, the offenses always explode. Prediction: Bills 24, Rams 23

San Diego Chargers (1-3) vs Oakland Raiders (3-1) CBS 2:25pm

This game probably has more "switch during commercial break" potential than the Bengals vs Cowboys game, but man, how brutal is it to watch both of these teams? Even when they score, it's painful to watch and just boring as hell. I really should watch this game because of the divisional impact, but really, how impactful is this game? We'd have to drop 2 games for the Raiders to even be a blip on our radar, and when you have a team that just hates to lose like Denver hates to lose, well, I can't seem them dropping 2 games to make the Raiders relevant. Prediction: Chargers 27, Raiders 28

New York Giants (2-2) vs Green Bay Packers (2-1) NBC Sunday Night 6:30pm

Are the Packers for real? That's my question. How good are the Packers? The Giants? They're a mess and I don't expect much  more from them than an 8-8 record unless they mature really freaking quick. But the Packers? Who are they? Last year they explained the struggles away because Nelson was out. So what's their excuse this year? If I recall correctly, shouldn't "best of the best QB in NFL" type QBs elevate their entire team? And if so, then why isn't Aaron Rodgers doing just that? Not only this year, but last year. If Tom Brady or Peyton Manning in their primes could do it with much less than the Packers had last year, then why couldn't Rodgers? Is his decline starting? Prediction: Giants 17, packers 24

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1-3) vs Carolina Panthers (1-3) ESPN Monday Night Football 6:30pm

I bet this game looked like a money Monday Night matchup 2 months ago! I don't know what will more nauseating, the commentators gushing over Cam and Jamies like this season doesn't exist, or the actual gameplay we'll be forced to sit through and watch? Prediction: Bucs 30, Panthers 31