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Ultimate Fan Guide: Previewing this matchup is so easy even a kid could do it

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And so two kids are - docllv’s boys.

Oakland Raiders v Denver Broncos Photo by Dustin Bradford/Getty Images

We’re closing in on game time tonight, and that means it’s time for another Ultimate Fan Guide! Unfortunately, CryMeARivers17 was MIA so I had to call in last-minute reinforcements - my boys, Calvin (10) and Tanner (7).

They are not quite as witty as Whorfin or as savvy on football strategy as all our previous UFGers - WesternAZBroncos, Luis Felipe Saccini, the_prodigal_fan, j-man and kingbronco58 (thanks again!) - but like their momma, they know their Broncos and they love to talk about them.

And what better group to analyze the game against the Giants - a team with zero wins, almost as many receivers, one suspended player and one “little bro” to one of the greatest QBs of all time - than a couple of kids?

Perfect, right?

Right.

And what they lack in substance - but totally make up for with hilarious banter - I’m sure you all can fill in what you’d like to say in the comments. So, we’ll call this one a “group effort,” which is exactly what we’re hoping the Broncos do today - a full team effort from start to finish.

Week 6: New York Giants at Denver Broncos

MHR – The 3-1 Broncos are 21-7 all-time and 15-4 at home after a bye week and are facing an 0-5 Giants team that by all accounts is a dumpster fire right now. Is there any way the Broncos lose this game?

Calvin: No. But Jason Pierre-Paul could give our offense some trouble. If he gets pressure on Trevor Siemian, we know our quarterback doesn’t always make the best decisions and that could lead to some stupid throws. But I still say we can’t lose.

Tanner: Yes. If our offensive line does really bad.

MHR – C.J. Anderson ranks fourth in the NFL with 82.5 rushing yards per game. And Jamaal Charles continues to impress with his speed and average ypc. What do you expect from these two against the Giants D?

Calvin: I think Mike McCoy will really take advantage of our running game and use Anderson and Charles more against the Giants defense.

Tanner: I think that C.J. Anderson is going to do really good and Jamaal Charles too because they’ve been doing really well. But Jason Peter Paul - what’s his name again? - he could stop the run a little bit. But not much probably.

MHR - Guard Ron Leary has not allowed a single pressure in pass protection, according to ProFootballFocus.com, and Garett Bolles has been mostly holding his own as a rookie LT. But Menelik Watson looks like my 10-year-old could run over him. How do you expect the OL to do this weekend against the Giants?

Calvin: Hahaha, mommy. Do you really think I could run over him?

Tanner: No.

Calvin: I think the offensive line will do OK and our quarterback will probably be on the run a lot again, but I think Siemian will be able to do enough to throw on the run and make some completions. Let’s hope Watson gets better.

MHR - The Broncos rank first in run defense (50.8 ypg allowed) this season with their 203 yards allowed, representing the fewest in team history and 8th fewest in NFL history through four games. What do you expect from this unit on Sunday night and do you think it will remain the best run defense in the NFL?

Calvin: I think the Giants will have to run the ball a lot more with so many wide receivers out and Eli Manning not doing so hot, which will wear down our defense, but I still think the D-line will be strong enough to hold them. Derek Wolfe and Adam Gotsis are monsters.

Tanner: Well, I think the outside guys - like Von Miller and the other guy, who is it? - (Calvin: Shaq Barrett) yeah, him - will keep the running backs from going out wide...so then our defensive guys in the middle - what’s that called? (Calvin: the defensive line) Yeah, those guys will be good at stopping the run in the middle - but not as good as the outside guys.

MHR - Von Miller ranks third in franchise history with 77.5 career sacks, a mark that leads all NFL players since he entered the league in 2011. How many sacks will he alone have on Sunday against a weak Giants offensive line?

Tanner: I think this weekend Von Miller will have two sacks and the whole defense will have four.

Calvin: Dang it, that’s what I was going to say.

Tanner: Well, I said it first.

Me: I think Eli is going to be running for his life from Von and will bring back his big bro’s “self sack” for preservation.

MHR - Broncos are playing in their All-Blues on Sunday night. What do you think of that uniform? What’s your favorite?

Calvin: All Blue? Cool. But I still like the orange best. It stands out more.

Tanner: I like the blue - it looks good with the orange stripe on the side. I still probably like the orange jerseys better.

MHR - Looking ahead on the schedule, it might get easy for the Broncos to become complacent about some of the opponents (Giants, Jets, Chargers, etc.) How does Denver stay sharp and ready for teams like the Chiefs and Patriots?

Calvin: That’s a tough one, but I think keeping Siemian sharp is vital for games against the Chiefs and the Patriots, so make him work extra hard in practice I guess.

Mark: Make him do burpees.

Calvin: No, Papi, that’s not going to help him throw better.

Tanner: The Broncos just need to make sure the offensive line can stop any defensive line from sacking Siemian because he needs to get better at throwing the ball quickly.

Me: So that didn’t tell me how you would help Siemian and the offense do that.

Calvin: I’m not the head coach, I don’t know. Ask him!

Me: Fair enough.

MHR - What will be the toughest thing about tomorrow night’s game?

Calvin: My guess is Jason Pierre-Paul. Siemian’s weakness is release time and along with a weak link on the offensive line, that will really play into the Giants’ strength on defense and make it tough for him.

Tanner: Well, I think probably Siemian not throwing interceptions.

MHR - Which offensive player for the Broncos needs to have a big week against the Giants?

Tanner: Oh, oh, oh...the bad guy. The guy who’s not very good on offensive line.

Calvin: Menelik Watson.

Tanner: Yeah, him.

Calvin: I’m going to go with Trevor Siemian. He needs to start finding his open targets earlier.

MHR - Which defensive player for the Broncos needs to have a big week against the Giants?

Calvin: Von Miller because I want him to have a really good game. Plus it will help the secondary get interceptions.

Tanner: I would think Aqib Talib because he needs more interceptions these days.

MHR - Which one of you would be Peyton and which one Eli if you were the Manning Brothers and not the Volkmann Brothers?

Calvin: That’s obvious, Peyton. Plus, it would hurt to be Eli.

Tanner: Oh, I would be Peyton.

Me: You can’t both be Peyton.

Tanner: Why not?

Me: Good point.

Predictions - Calvin

Stats for Trevor Siemian? 24/260, 2 TDs, 2 INTs

Number of carries/yards rushing for Broncos? Anderson, 15/95; Charles, 8/50

Number of yards receiving for Broncos? Demaryius Thomas, 90; Sanders, 100; Fowler, 65

Longest FG? 48

Number of sacks to Siemian? 3

Number of sacks to Eli Manning? 4

Broncos player with the most tackles? Von Miller

How many INTs/FF/FR for the Broncos D? 2/1/1

Final Score? 31-10, Broncos

Predictions - Tanner

Stats for Trevor Siemian? 37/300, 2 TDs, 3 INTs

Number of carries/yards rushing for Broncos? Anderson, 10/79; Charles, 10/60

Number of yards receiving for Broncos? DT, 91; Sanders, 85; Fowler, 72

Longest FG? 40

Number of sacks to Siemian? 2

Number of sacks to Eli Manning? 4

Broncos player with the most tackles? Chris Harris Jr.

How many INTs/FF/FR for the Broncos D? 3/1/0

Final Score? 28-7, Broncos

The Favorites - Calvin

Favorite Broncos game EVER? Super Bowl XXXII. Super Bowl 50 was great but not as close. For all Broncos games to be great, they must be won by 7 or less points.

Mommy: Fewer?

Calvin: Yep.

Team you hate to lose to the most? Patriots - Since I’ve been alive the Patriots have always been a rivalry.

Team you love to beat? Patriots

Game most looking forward to this season? The Super Bowl!!!

Game “definitely not most worried about” this season? The Giants. Well, the Broncos always worry me a little.

Favorite Broncos player on the current roster? Von Miller

Favorite new guy on the team? Jamaal Charles - I like watching him run.

Superstitions on game day? Can’t wear any colors from the other team

Favorite TD celebration? Mile High Salute

Favorite Von Miller sack dance?

Favorite snack food during the game? Can we say nothing? I’m always too nervous to eat.

The Favorites - Tanner

Favorite Broncos game EVER? Super Bowl XXXII

Team you hate to lose to the most? Chiefs

Team you love to beat? Patriots

Game most looking forward to this season? Patriots

Game “definitely not most worried about” this season? I’m definitely not worried about the Dolphins.

Favorite Broncos player on the current roster? Demaryius Thomas

Favorite rookie/young guy on the team? Jamaal Charles

Favorite Broncos player of all time? John Elway

Superstitions on game day? We have to wear Denver Broncos stuff.

Favorite TD celebration? The one Terrell Davis does, the salute. Why don’t they do that anymore?

Favorite Von Miller sack dance? Whatever Von calls the running, arm-waving thing from last game. I like that one.

Favorite snack food during the game? Nothing. It’s usually bedtime when the Broncos play. ;(

Favorite Broncos player of all time?

Calvin: That’s a tough one - Peyton Manning or John Elway.

Tanner: I think maybe John Elway.

Calvin: Yeah that’s a good one, but we didn’t see him play. And we met Peyton Manning.

Tanner: Yeah but remember when mommy showed us that Super Bowl video?

Calvin: Oh yeah, and the Helicopter play?

Tanner: Yeah, because Elway could throw AND run, ya know? Peyton was really smart but he couldn’t run.

Calvin: True. But remember that game against the Patriots where he ran 12 yards for a first down?

Tanner: No.

Calvin: Oh, well he did.

Tanner: Good. I still pick Elway.

Calvin: I still pick Manning.

Me: ENOUGH! Both are outstanding choices. Moving on...

How did you become a Broncos fan?

Calvin: YOU!

Tanner: Because you’re a Broncos fan, mommy (insert “duh” tone).

Mile High Salute from Calvin and Tanner Volkmann.

Poll

Your turn, Broncos Country - is there ANY way the Broncos lose this game tonight?

This poll is closed

  • 41%
    I’m with Tanner - there’s always a way, and if our O-line falls apart and the offense can’t do anything, that will be the way.
    (48 votes)
  • 18%
    I’m with Calvin - no, though the Giants defense could be a problem.
    (22 votes)
  • 33%
    I’m with Doc - this may be the one time I feel confident in saying it will be a double-digit win.
    (39 votes)
  • 6%
    "Whorfin" :)
    (7 votes)
116 votes total Vote Now