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NFL Picks: Week 7

Well last week was a bust!

NFL: New York Giants at Denver Broncos Isaiah J. Downing-USA TODAY Sports

It happened, it finally happened... I got less games correct then incorrect. However, at least one thing became clear: It’ll now be easy to pick Packers games from here on out. So there is a silver lining to this playbook. Its also time to wash the disgust of last week’s Broncos game out of our mouths. After a week of overreactions to what is wrong with this team (hint: it isn’t our defense, so stop blaming them. If they hold a team to 16 points, they did their job!), its time to finally get back to football.

Last Week: 6-8
Overall: 54-37

Kansas City Chiefs (5-1) at Oakland Raiders (2-4) NFLN 6:30pm TNF
The Raiders are in tailspin mode, which pleases pretty much everyone. I know the Chiefs struggled and lost last week, but I don’t expect that trend to carry over into this week. All the Chiefs really have to do is show up and they’ll win. Alex Smith could likely have a 300+ yard day against that weak ass Raiders D. PREDICTION: Chiefs 34, Raiders 13

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (2-3) at Buffalo Bills (3-2) FOX 11:00am
Apparently I made the grave error in judgement with DL... I said “one of your secondary teams”... oh boy, did she set me straight that she has 1 team and one team only. THE BRONCOS! So now that I got that off my chest, here is her thoughts and prediction for the game.
So the Bucs are coming off a loss and the Bills are coming off their Bye week which makes them well rested! Winston is questionable this week, and although he has been doing pretty well even if he gets to play he won’t be 100%. And then if Fitzpatrick fills in…sure he had good numbers last week, but we can’t trust him to do it two weeks in a row! The Bucs Passing game is great but their running game…not so much ☹

Their D struggled last week and I found that surprising compared to their defensive performance against the Patriots. This is TWO STRAIGHT losses for the Bucs.

And for the Bills…their QB is mediocre but their D is FIRE!! (#1 in the NFL). And then McCoy…he is a huge threat! He can run the ball and catch passes! I see him putting up a considerable amount of fantasy numbers this game!

Lets face it, the Bills have conquered some pretty strong teams, one being the Falcons and the other…our loving Broncos. PREDICTION: Bucs 13, Bills 24

Baltimore Ravens (3-3) at Minnesota Vikings (4-2) CBS 11:00am
My goodness what will happen in this game? Ravens are wildly inconsistent and the Vikings, for whatever reason, scare the hell out of me when I try predicting a win or loss. I know they’re 4-2, but I just don’t trust them. Thankfully I trust the Ravens even less, so that’s the straw to which I shall grasp. PREDICTION: Ravens 17, Vikings 24

New York Jets (3-3) at Miami Dolphins (3-2) FOX 11:00am
I think the Jets want the #1 overall pick, but they apparently don’t. Then I think the Dolphins would rather be chilling on South Beach than play a football game, yet the beat the Falcons. Back to my lucky coin to flip. Who wins? Heads Dolphins, Tails Jets. PREDICTION: Jets 24, Dolphins 13 (it was Tails... never fails)

Arizona Cardinals (3-3) at Los Angeles Rams (4-2) FOX 11:00am
This one’s easy... Rams. NEXT! PREDICTION: Cardinals 16, Rams 31

Jacksonville Jaguars (3-3) at Indianapolis Colts (2-4) CBS 11:00am
What was last week for the Jags? It was their week to lose, right? Which means this is their week to win? I think that’s right. So there you have it. That’s all you really need to know about this game. PREDICTION: Jaguars 27, Colts 13

New Orleans Saints (3-2) at Green Bay Packers (4-2) FOX 11:00am
Last week the Saints offense lit it up. Hell, their defense lit it up! And instead of predicting this game with Rodgers’ ability to pull rabbits out of his hat on last second hail mary’s, I get to sit back, take a sip of my coffee, and say... PREDICTION: Saints 30, Packers 15

Carolina Panthers (4-2) at Chicago Bears (2-4) CBS 11:00am
Wanna know what the most intriguing aspect of this game is? That they are 2 NFC teams and it’s on CBS. Yes, that is the entirety of drama that this game will give us. PREDICTION: Panthers 27, Bears 17

Tennessee Titans (3-3) at Cleveland Browns (0-6) CBS 11:00am
Another “secondary team” for DL, but I refuse to tell her that anymore for fear that I’ll turn a corner and she’ll knee cap me with a baseball bat for even remotely suggesting she likes anyone but the Broncos. Here she is chiming in on this game.
These two teams just suck…so which one will suck less…for the Titans to win, they just need to PLAY BETTER but I guess it really doesn’t matter because the Browns suck more!

Their D is horrible and their Offense has way too many Turnovers! They are flat out terrible! Sure they are playing at home, which would “normally” give that team the advantage but not in this case…it don’t matter where they play…they will still do terrible and still lose! Maybe next year the Browns won’t pass up some pretty decent QB’s…and maybe just maybe they will start this “rebuild” they’ve been talking about. PREDICTION: Titans 12, Browns 9

Dallas Cowboys (2-3) at San Francisco 49ers (0-6) FOX 2:05pm
C’mon, admit it everyone, you laugh like a little kid playing whack-a-mole. The Cowboys, “America’s Team”, “they’re going to win the Super Bowl this year” and they are at 2-3. HAHAHA Please football Gods, please have the 49ers get their first victory against them at home! Please!!! And do you know what? Even though the 9ers are 0-fer, they play tough and lose games by field goals. So they are there till the end. And to that end, comes their winless streak. PREDICTION: Cowboys 24, 49ers 31

Denver Broncos (3-2) at Los Angeles Chargers (2-4) CBS 2:25pm
Ok, lets put one thing into perspective. It isn’t our defense letting us down. Stop that nonsense. They gave up 16 points. And that includes Giants scores where they took control on a short field. Our struggles rest squarely on the offense. And don’t give me this crap about our Coaches needing to do better on offense. How about our players do better for the coaches? How about that?! Oh yeah, the Chargers... As Ron Burgundy would say, “Go $&^@ yourself San Diego!” Kidding. I totally mean Los Angeles! PREDICTION: Broncos 27 (likely 21 of them from Defense), Chargers 17 (likely 14 of them from the Defense)

Cincinnati Bengals (2-4) at Pittsburgh Steelers (4-2) CBS 2:25pm
I’m not entirely sure how to pick this game. Interdivisional games are tough, and is there that “we just beat the last remaining undefeated team” hangover? Where they let up just enough to get beat? Because make no mistake, the Steelers are the better team. Plus they’re at home. Plus the Bengals just suck. But will the Steelers have an emotional hangover? Those things are real ya know. PREDICTION: Bengals 16, Steelers 24

Seattle Seahawks (3-2) at New York Giants (1-5) CBS 2:25pm
The last time a team the Broncos should have beaten straight whipped us was Buffalo. And the very next week I made fun of Buffalo and said the Falcons would score infinity on them... and then the Bills beat them. So lets see if that happens again, because I HATE the Rainy City Bitch Pigeons! You suck Giants! I’ve seen stiffer competition in duck-duck-goose! The last time I saw a goofier looking person than Eli, it was Simple Jack from Tropic Thunder! You’re so allergic to the end zone that you actually called the DEA over to inspect the suspicious looking white powder you found, only to have them tell you that it’s the chalk outlining the End Zone! PREDICTION: Seahawks infinity, Giants 3

Atlanta Falcons (3-2) at New England Patriots (4-2) NBC 6:30 SNF
Rematch of... who the hell cares. Atlanta lost to the Jags, and the Patriots “lost” to the Jets. Yes, I’m saying they lost, but the NFL obviously mandates that the Patriots aren’t allowed to finish anything but first in their division, so the refs have to make sh!t up in order for them to win. PREDICTION: Falcons 27, Pats 31

Washington Redskins (3-2) at Philadelphia Eagles (5-1) ESPN 6:30pm
Easy game to predict. Maybe the easiest all week. The Eagles are really really good. The Redskins are really really average. Can anyone slow the Eagles down? I’m not sure anyone outside of maybe the Chiefs could at this point. So until that narrative changes, you gotta go with the hot hand. PREDICTION: Redskins 19, Eagles 31