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2017 NFL Picks: Week 8

Right when you thought it couldn’t get worse for Denver, they have to go to KC.

Denver Broncos v Los Angeles Chargers Photo by Harry How/Getty Images

I know what everyone is thinking. You’re all thinking I’m going to start out by ripping the Broncos. WRONG! I’m going to praise myself for correctly picking the exact score of the Titans vs Browns game! BOOM! Take that sportsbooks!

Fear not ladies and gentlemen, I’ll have plenty to say in my Broncos pick this week.

Last Week: 10-5
Overall: 64-42

Miami Dolphins (4-2) at Baltimore Ravens (3-4) NFLN/CBS 6:25pm TNF
Jay Cutler goes down and the Dolphins win. Joe Flacco starts and the Ravens lose yet again. Interesting. Thursday Night Football strikes again with a wonderful game. I gotta think that the Ravens will be ready. Their defense will step up and make Matt Moore look like, well, like Matt Moore. PREDICTION: Dolphins 16, Ravens 23

Minnesota Vikings (5-2) at Cleveland Browns (0-7) NFLN 7:30am LONDON
I’m not exactly sure how the Vikings keep winning. I fully know how the Browns keep losing, but honestly, the Vikings being 5-2 while being remarkably forgettable just has me scratching my head. Maybe they are like Trevor Siemian, they aren’t really winning the competition, they are simply being a C student while the other team messes up just enough to get a D grade. PREDICTION: Vikings 24, Browns 6

Atlanta Falcons (3-3) at New York Jets (3-4) FOX 11:00am
The Falcons seem to be unraveling at the seams. Super Bowl hangover perhaps? We see it all the time with the losers of the previous year’s Super Bowl, and each year we are surprised when that team slumps. Thankfully they play the Jets, who are what we all refer to as a “slump buster”... wait.. or are they? PREDICTION: Falcons 24, Jets 20

Carolina Panthers (4-3) at Tampa Bay Buccaneers (2-4) FOX 11:00am
The mental midget we know and love named Cam Newton (ok, none of us love him) strikes again. Normally I’d say that Cam has something bothering him in his personal life and he’s going to play like a whiny little (expletive)... But he’s playing the Bucs who at 2-4 seem to be just what the doctor ordered. PREDICTION: Panthers 31, Bucs 23

San Francisco 49ers (0-7) at Philadelphia Eagles (6-1) FOX 11:00am
Last week was really the first week that the 49ers got dominated all game. They’re remarkably competitive for a winless team. We also saw the Eagles actually struggle for a while before they turned it around. This screams trap game for the Eagles. But most of me thinks I’m only thinking that because I’m a Broncos fan, and the Broncos have a bad habit of playing down to their opponents level. Good teams don’t do that. So I shouldn’t hold that against the Eagles. PREDICTION: 49ers 10, Eagles 31

Chicago Bears (3-4) at New Orleans Saints (4-2) FOX 11:00am
I can’t even make fun of the Bears because they’re likely better than Denver. We all know the Saints are. At least the Bears are doing something smart: They are starting their young QB to get him experience. If you’re gonna lose, you might as well lose with a potentially good QB gaining valuable experience. And to think I wanted Fox out of town. I actually still do. He sucks. But he got that part right. PREDICTION: Bears 24, Saints 31

Los Angeles Chargers (3-4) at New England Patriots (5-2) CBS 11:00am
What did last week teach us all about the Chargers? Nothing. Meanwhile the Patriots don’t look as dominant as normal, but they keep winning. PREDICTION: Chargers 17, Patriots 24

Oakland Raiders (3-4) at Buffalo Bills (4-2) CBS 11:00am
So did the Raiders get lucky, or are they “back”? It was a divisional game so you never know, but man, that was pretty clutch play down the stretch. The Bills barely eeked out a victory, so they won’t be relaxing at all. If Carr is back, the Raiders can win. If he’s gimpy, they wont. PREDICTION: Raiders 24, Bills 20

Indianapolis Colts (2-5) at Cincinnati Bengals (2-4) CBS 11:00am
Andrew Luck is still “injured” and the Bengals still suck. The NFL should have given both teams a bye this week to save the fans from this disgrace of a game. PREDICTION: Colts 10, Bengals 13

Houston Texans (3-3) at Seattle Seahawks (4-2) CBS 2:05pm
Please Houston, beat the Seahawks! You have the firepower with Watson pulling the trigger. Now don’t let the Seahawks intimidate you. You can do it!!! And in Seattle to shut their fart sniffing fans up! PREDICTION: Houston 27, Seahawks 24

Dallas Cowboys (3-3) at Washington Redskins (3-3) FOX 2:25pm
Divisional game with two teams that flat out hate each other. This should be a good one. The Cowboys got back on track last week, and the Redskins for the most part, played the Eagles pretty tough. Its really hard for Dallas to walk into D.C. and win, and I don’t think this week will be much different. PREDICTION: Cowboys 24, Redskins 30

Pittsburgh Steelers (5-2) at Detroit Lions (3-3) NBC 6:30pm SNF
I swear the Steelers are a team about to implode. The only thing stopping it is that they keep finding ways to win. Meanwhile the Lions are reverting back to being the Lions and losing. I’d feel more comfy if this game were in Pittsburgh, but none the less, I’m rolling with the hotter team. PREDICTION: Steelers 27, Lions 24

Denver Broncos (3-3) at Kansas City Chiefs (5-2) ESPN 6:30 MNF
I reached my Zen during the game so I was at peace with a loss. Hell, in my Instant Reactions I was begging for the shutout so our coaches would do something, ANYTHING to change the direction this team is going in. Boy did we all get disappointed.

It appears Vance Joseph is perfectly fine with how this team is headed. Losing 3 of the last 4 in embarrassing fashion? No biggie. We’re good! Getting shutout for the first time in 25 years, something that almost half of the team wasn’t even born yet to witness? Nah, no changes needed.

Is it all Siemian’s fault? No. But he’s the biggest problem.

The offensive line has been mostly ok.

The WR’s are stellar.

The RB’s are really good.

It’s the QB who locks onto his target and allows the defense to read his eyes. Its the QB who will panic into sacks. It’s the QB who will hold onto the ball for way too long and get his WR’s killed, or gets sacked. Its the QB who will throw into double, triple, and quadruple coverage because he flat refuses to move beyond his first read (what all of you ripped Lynch for doing).

And do you know what? It’s the QB who can’t throw an accurate deep ball. It’s the QB who can’t hit a WR in stride to save his life. Its the QB who will consistently make a WR slow down to catch a “should be” touchdown but instead, get it broken up or tackled immediately. It’s the QB doing all of that. The offensive line isn’t short throwing WR’s. The offensive line isn’t throwing ground balls to the RB on quick outs. It isn’t the offensive line’s fault that he won’t progress beyond his 1st read. It isn’t the offensive line’s fault he throws HORRIBLE interceptions. And it sure as heck isn’t the offensive line’s fault that Siemian runs around and takes sacks.

So make the damn change already! This season is OVER! OVER! We know what we have in Siemian (a decent backup). We know what we have in Brock (a decent backup), so once Lynch gets healthy, lets find out what we have in him. He’s either gonna grow or sink. But guess what? You can’t score less than 0 points. So will Lynch EVER IN HIS CAREER DO WORSE THAN TREVOR SIEMIAN? Nope! Because he will never score negative points. Ever! Make the damn change! Siemian needs to be benched and I don’t care if it’s for Brock at this point while Lynch heals up. We need a change because zero points is unforgivable. Siemian is not the next Tom Brady. Siemian is not the next Aaron Rodgers. Siemian is likely the next Brian Griese, and that simply isn’t good enough!

On a lighter note, our Defense is amazing. I just wish we didn’t repeatedly slap them in the face with this piss poor joke of an offense.

And the most damaging thing that I’ve heard about the offense came from Vance Joseph himself yesterday. He said “Defenses are forcing our our passing game to be effective.” Oh, I’m so F’ing sorry defenses are daring your QB to actually play effectively. Our bad. Here we were thinking that maybe YOU would force them to be effective. Maybe they themselves and their pride would force them to be effective. I’m sorry for assuming that “effective” was the bare minimum expectation. My bad! MY BAD! Apparently the joke was all on us, because “effective” is a bar set so F’ing high for this offense that you appear “take a knee Fox” shocked that they’re being asked to perform up to that level. OUR BAD VANCE JOSEPH!!! OUR BAD! Forgive us for expecting competitive football. Forgive us for expecting more than Cleveland Browns production levels. Forgive us for not wanting to be bottom feeders!

Its time to face the facts: The Denver Broncos aren’t a good football team. Period! Thank goodness we have a layup of a game against the... oh shit, it’s against the best team in the NFL. PREDICTION: Broncos 3, Chiefs 17