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When the Denver Broncos selected tight end Jake Butt in the 5th round of the draft, I'll be the first to admit I reveled in all the childish football euphemisms that could be made instantly hilarious by adding his name. I may have spent an inordinate amount of time coming up with no fewer than 6-dozen chortle-worthy turns of phrase using his name. All of them, in fact, are so funny I can't share them here.
Mr. Butt has only been on the team for less than a month and the Butt jokes appear to be here to say.
What has started out as a novelty for Broncos fans has all the potential to be a source of eye-rolling annoyance as the season rolls on. The peeve will come as game pundits pretend to carefully tip-toe around some of the more colorful Butt phrases and then giggle to themselves about how close they came without actually saying anything.
Make no mistake, we're already in for at least one Butt joke per game, but should a broadcaster accidentally make a particularly juicy reference without realizing? The internet is already hungry for that. Just you wait.
So what do we do? There's nothing we can do. Butt jokes are undefeated.
[Butt joke omitted]
giggity.
HORSE TRACKS
I seen a peanut stand, heard a rubber band. I seen a needle that winked its eye. But I be done seen 'bout ev'rything. When I see a Butt pay dividends. Woody Paige: Broncos late-round pick may pay dividends with TE Jake Butt | Colorado Springs Gazette, News
...or show promise. In midst of recovery, Jake Butt showing promise | Denver Broncos
Subject to change, depending on how the season progresses, I'm sure. Broncos Want Charles To Carry The Ball, Not The Load " CBS Denver
Did you catch the full list of Broncos undrafted free agents? Which one(s) will make the roster? Broncos sign 17 undrafted free agents | ProFootballTalk
It's kind of sad seeing Malik in Jacksonville. Not Steve Atwater with the Jets or Shannon Sharpe with the Ravens-kind-of-sad, but sad none the less. Malik Jackson: Doug Marrone’s "not taking any BS" | ProFootballTalk
What a fall of Brock Osweiler. In just a little more than a year he's gone from the possible future of Houston to a contract dump for the Browns playing behind Cody Kessler. Hue Jackson: Browns' QB competition is open but Cody Kessler gets first shot - CBSSports.com
...of course it is. Because Raiders. There's now a 'distinct possibility' that Raiders' Vegas move is delayed until 2021 - CBSSports.com
The former Chief and Dolphin is MIA. Jaguars haven’t heard a word from Branden Albert | ProFootballTalk
Translation: Provided Leonard doesn't completely embarrass himself, he'll be the starter. Leonard Fournette has to "go and show" he can be Jaguars starter | ProFootballTalk
Vegas is not high on the Cowboys. Las Vegas expects Dallas Cowboys to take step back this season | ESPN
Helmet safety is important, but has a long way to yet go. The safest helmet in football is set to make its NFL debut next season - CBSSports.com