clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

2017 NFL Picks: Week 2

New, comments

Week 1 was interesting to say the least, but how does Week 2 compare?

NFL: Los Angeles Chargers at Denver Broncos Ron Chenoy-USA TODAY Sports

So Week 1 is in the books. Talk about a roller coaster ride that saw major upsets such as the Chiefs straight curb stomping the Patriots, and the Rams laying the wood down on the Colts. Some things never change such as the Browns and Jets losing, but maybe, just maybe some things are beginning to turn around for teams such as the Jaguars.

Overall, last week I went 10-5 which for Week 1 is pretty respectable. I’m not sure how all the major 4 letter networks did, but 10-5 while making millions of dollars less per year to do these things might make me the next in line for a hire by ESPN or NFLN, right? Right?

Biggest Week 1 winner:

The Chiefs straight dominating the Patriots. I’m not writing the Patriots off at all, because the last time this happened, they were “on to Cincinnati” and ripped off 12+ in a row en-route to a Super Bowl victory. But KC looked DOMINANT and man oh man are they going to be a tough out for anybody in the NFL. They should rightfully be a Super Bowl favorite. But so too should the Patriots unless we see consistent slipping by them.

Biggest Week 1 loser:

The Houston Texans. They had the entire offseason and all 4 preseason games to pick a quarterback. It took them 30 minutes to bail on him. Sure, Tom Savage sucks, but they knew this going in. If they picked him to start the game, they needed to pick him to finish it as well. That was as amateur hour as it gets. I love me some Deshaun Watson and if his psyche doesn’t get messed up by being on such a garbage team, I think the future is really bright for him. But the Texans are far too knee-jerk reactionary. If Savage was on that short of a leash, they should have just given all his reps to Watson and started Watson. They did neither QBs any favors, and now on his 22nd birthday, on a short week, after splitting reps all offseason, Watson is thrown into prime time against the Bengals. Thanks for starting his career off on a low note, Bill O’Brien. Enjoy your last year as a head coach in the NFL. You’re lucky your owner isn’t as incompetent as you ... or maybe he is, because that’s the only reason you are still employed!

Houston Texans (0-1) at Cincinnati Bengals (0-1) TNF 6:25pm NFLN
This game is a no brainer. It’s the Bengals all the way. They’re at home, and the Texans are rolling out a rookie QB who didn’t get the privilege of having an offseason with the starting offense to start jelling. Brian Cushing is now suspended once again for PED use, but the Texans still have a good defense. They might be able to hang with the Bengals if Andy Dalton stays Andy Dalton, but I think he’ll be extra motivated to erase the stink of last week and they’ll end up steamrolling the Texans. PREDICTION: Texans 10, Bengals 27

Cleveland Browns (0-1) at Baltimore Ravens (1-0) 11am CBS
This one is pretty easy. It’s a home game for the Ravens, and it’s against the Browns who’s only touchdown came on a blocked punt. But it isn’t like the Ravens looked all that great last week either ... Anything can happen, but it can’t happen this week. PREDICTION: Browns 9, Ravens 20

Chicago Bears (0-1) at Tampa Bay Buccaneers (0-0) 11am FOX
You know what? The Bears did better last week than I thought they would. They really did. Glennon wasn’t as crappy as he could have been, and the Bears’ running attack was pretty impressive. Which shouldn’t necessarily come as a surprise for a John Fox team. How do the Bucs look? No clue. None. They should have played at a neutral site last week instead of stripping them and the Dolphins of their bye week. For those of you all uppity about “they should be with their families and not play,” I say to you “they could have brought them with them. And if the Jags and Texans played, then the Bucs and Dolphins could have too! Nobody seemed to have an issue with the Jags and Texans!” PREDICTION: Bears 17, Bucs 24

Minnesota Vikings (1-0) at Pittsburgh Steelers (1-0) 11am FOX
I had my own opinion on this game, but that didn’t stop me from reaching out for expert advice. Here is what she said, “As for PIT vs MIN, I am going to have to go with Pittsburgh on this one … Yes, the Vikings did well last week but Minnesota’s defense isn’t quite ready for the Steelers … I’d be surprised if the Viking came out 2-0 … this is a tough AWAY game for them so early in the season ” And thus it has been said, the Steelers will win. PREDICTION: Vikings 23, Steelers 27

New England Patriots (0-1) at New Orleans Saints (0-1) 11am CBS
Has the decline of Tom Brady, age 40, begun? I say no, even though others have said “yes.” I’d still take Tom Terrific on my team! The Saints were blown out in an embarrassing way in Minnesota last week and likely have some revenge on their minds. Revenge? Yes, revenge on themselves! Will that be enough even in the Crescent City? I’m not sure. I’m really not sure. PREDICTION: Patriots 41, Saints 37

Philadelphia Eagles (1-0) at Kansas City Chiefs (1-0) 11am FOX
This game isn’t even close. If the Chiefs play anywhere close to what they did in Week 1, this game won’t even be a contest. The Eagles were respectable last week, they played really, really good. But the Chiefs were “next level” good. If they match that effort, intensity, and execution, they can beat every team in the NFL by 7+ points. ANY TEAM! Plus the home crowd in KC really is second only to Green Bay (yes, I’ve tailgated at KC many times), so they’ll be hopped up on BBQ and drunk on Coors Light. This all adds up to a whooping. PREDICTION: Eagles 20, Chiefs 37

Tennessee Titans (0-1) at Jacksonville Jaguars (1-0) 11am CBS
Leonard Fournette is the real deal, but Blake Bortles is not. I don’t think the Jags are 1-0 good. I suppose they are because that’s their record, but I just don’t trust them yet. You need more production to make me a believer. Meanwhile, the Titans I don’t think are 0-1 bad, they just ran against a better team. PREDICTION: Titans 24, Jags 13

Arizona Cardinals (0-1) at Indianapolis Colts (0-1) 11am FOX
The decline of the Cardinals is very real. VERY REAL. They haven’t been good in a few years, and Palmer is a very mediocre QB. Luckily they are running into a Colts team that just flat out stinks. The Colts are almost like the Broncos of the late 80’s. They are nothing without their QB willing them to victory. And, unfortunately, their owner has let that QB down to the point he’s been out since last year and it isn’t looking like he’ll see the field until darn near mid-season. PREDICTION: Cardinals 20, Colts 6

Buffalo Bills (1-0) at Carolina Panthers (1-0) 11am CBS
It’s been a few years since the phrase “Cam Newton really let the Panthers down” but he let them down. Yes, they won, but they should have done so much more. I suppose saying he let them down is a bit harsh, but I expect more out of him. The Bills meanwhile hung on against a team in full “get the #1 pick at all costs” which is alarming. PREDICTION: Bills 20, Panthers 29

New York Jets (0-16) at Oakland Raiders (1-0) 2:05pm CBS
If you have spare cash, bet it all on the Raiders. If you don’t, pull out a 2nd mortgage and put it all on the Raiders. If the spread is 20, that’s too low. If the spread is 90, that might be too low. Kidding of course, 90 is excessive. But just barely. If you’re in a survivor pool, this is the week to pick the Raiders. The Jets will be lucky to keep it closer than 25 points. PREDICTION: Raiders 38, Jets 3

Miami Dolphins (0-0) at San Diego Chargers (0-1) 2:05pm CBS
Read the travesty I wrote about the Bucs. The NFL really screwed the Dolphins too. They were evacuating anyways. So take your family with you to “who cares, USA” and take your mind off the hurricane and play the game. We’ve seen so many athletes have the best games of their lives in the face of personal tragedy (Favre the day his dad died comes instantly to mind). Again, if Houston and Jacksonville could play, so too could Miami and Tampa Bay! Oh yeah, the game ... Chargers win. There. I said it. Cutler flashes, but I’m telling you, half his brain is drunk, and the other half is coated with bong resin. PREDICTION: Dolphins 23, Chargers 24

San Francisco 49ers (0-1) at Seattle Seahawks (0-1) 2:25pm FOX
The 49ers came out with the excuse of “the sun was too bright” as to why they got steamrolled against the Panthers. Yeah, cause the sun wasn’t in their eyes either? The excuses run out this week in Seattle though. The Seahawks look to be pissed that they lost, and the 9ers are pathetic. Sorry, Uncle Joe, but your team loses badly this week to the Rainy City Bitch Pigeons. PREDICTION: 49ers 3, Seahawks 35

Washington Redskins (0-1) at Los Angeles Rams (1-0) 2:25pm FOX
Like I’ve said for years, I don’t trust Kirk Cousins. I just don’t. He’s always has good stats, but man, I think a lot of it is luck and just a good team around him. This was never on display more than it was in Week 1 when he just looked, well, like the backup QB he was drafted to be. The Rams laid the wood on the Colts, but who won’t abuse the Colts this year until Andrew Luck is healthy and plays? But man, oh man does that Wade Phillips defense look good for the 73rd year in a row! We miss you SonOfBum. PREDICTION: Redskins 17, Rams 20

Dallas Cowboys (1-0) at Denver Broncos (1-0) 2:25pm FOX
Last week the Cowboys scored 19, and after 3 quarters, the Broncos scored 24. Siemian looked like a, dare I say, good QB, and Dak looked ok. But have you ever seen a QB/WR combo with less chemistry as Dak and Dez? Seriously, I think they would mess up a game of catch in the back yard with a baseball and gloves! Meanwhile, the Broncos have room to grow, and that’s a good thing seeing they already scored a respectable 24 points. If 24 points with growth is the baseline, then good things have yet to come for our favorite team!

Quick stat: The Broncos have a winning percentage of .857, or 24-4 since 2015 when scoring 17+ but a dismal 1-7 when scoring less than 17.

What does that mean? Duh, it means we better score more than 17 and let our defense bring us home to glory! So let’s not mess this up, Siemian. Pull a Peyton Manning and just curl up in the fetal position if you’re gonna take a sack, don’t backpedal 15+ yards. Also, stop playing prevent offense when we’re up by 20. That is a John Fox move, and we’re better than that! Stomp on their throats and give the annoying Cowboy fans no excuses as to why they lost! PREDICTION: Cowboys 13, Broncos 27

Green Bay Packers (1-0) at Atlanta Falcons (1-0) SNF 6:30pm NBC
The Falcons didn’t impress all that much last week, but even with the “Super Bowl Hangover,” they managed to get the win. Meanwhile, the Packers didn’t look crisp, but hey, it was opening week against the Seahawks who tend to play everyone tough. I was way more impressed with Green Bay than I was with Atlanta, and although this is in the ATL, I think the Packers squeak out a much needed victory. PREDICTION: Packers 27, Falcons 24

Detroit Lions (1-0) at New York Giants (0-1) MNF 6:30pm ESPN
Seriously, have the Giants forgotten how to play football? Or are the Giants only a good team when they play the Patriots in Super Bowls (2-0)? If the Giants let the Cowboys score at will, what will they look like against the Lions who aren’t your daddy’s Lions? Stafford had 4 touchdowns last week, what’s the over/under for TD’s against the Giants, 10? Are they installing an extra column of lights on the scoreboard in anticipation of a triple digit beatdown? PREDICTION: Lions 35, Giants 17