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NFL Predictions Week 9

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Week 9 of the NFL features two amazing match-ups.

Arizona Cardinals v New Orleans Saints Photo by Chris Graythen/Getty Images

I’m not saying that Vegas should give me a job, but Vegas should give me a job! Swung on and missed the Cardinals pulling their heads out and beating the 49ers, and that the Saints would straight up whoop on Kirk Cousins’ Vikings (which I love when the Vikings lose cause Cousins is a natural loser, a real Munson).

The trade deadline has come and gone, and we all know that Demaryius Thomas is no longer with the Broncos. I’m saddened by this as I really liked him, and dropped passes aside, he was a great Bronco for 8+ years.

With that said, I don’t think his production will be missed as the Broncos have Courtland Sutton and Tim Patrick to more than replace him. I’m also kinda happy for DT to get him with a vastly superior QB situation in Houston. I anticipate him having a bit of an impact (maybe a TD or two) against his former team on Sunday.

Looks like its time to retire my DT jersey, along side my Talib jersey and Sharpe jersey. But then what in the world will I wear to our games?

Onto the picks!

Last Week: 12-2
Overall: 71-47-2

Oakland Raiders (1-6) at San Francisco 49ers (1-7) 6:20pm FOX/NFLN TNF
I’m pretty sure the only people who will tune into this game are people who are either a) paid to watch (announcers), b) have skin on the game, or c) friends and family. If you don’t fall into any of the three categories and you still watch this game, you really need to look long and hard in the mirror and ask yourself why your life is so horrible that you can’t find a single thing better to do with a Thursday night than watch this game. And then make some adjustments so your future doesn’t continue to suck the way the Raiders do. Prediction: Who Cares. But also Oakland 6, 49ers 10

Pittsburgh Steelers (4-2-1) at Baltimore Ravens (4-4) 11:00am CBS
On offense, the Steelers beat the Ravens like they owe them money. On defense, the Ravens are pretty stout but have been vulnerable. And that’s the key to this game: Vulnerability. Prediction: Steelers 27, Ravens 23

Chicago Bears (4-3) at Buffalo Bills (2-6) 11:00am FOX
I bet the Bills still wish they had Tyrod Taylor right about now. But they don’t. Just like I bet the Bills wish they’d win this week, yet they won’t. Prediction: Bears 24, Bills 6

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (3-4) at Carolina Panthers (5-2) 11:00am FOX
Ok, serious question time, who are the Bucs starting at QB for this game? They benched Winston, they’ve already benched Fitzmagic, so who’s left? Or do they go back to Fitzy? And more importantly, does it even matter? Prediction: Bucs 13, Panthers 23

Kansas City Chiefs (7-1) at Cleveland Browns (2-5-1) 11:00am CBS
Want to know what’s crazy? Even in the “close” game and “Broncos held them down” game, Mahomes still threw for 4 TD’s. Prediction: Chiefs 45, Browns 23

New York Jets (3-5) at Miami Dolphins (4-4) 11:00am CBS
This game is disgusting. I want to pick Miami, but I’m scared to do so. Why does Miami have to be so bland? Prediction: Jets 13, Dolphins 17

Detroit Lions (3-4) at Minnesota Vikings (4-3-1) 11:00am FOX
As much as I’d love to pick against the Vikings, Detroit just isn’t really all that good. They are one of the worst 3 win teams, and the Vikings are semi-decent even if they routinely find ways to shoot themselves in the foot. For all those pretty stats Cousins has, don’t look now, but just like in Washington, he isn’t producing wins. Unlike Keenum for them last year. Yes, I said it! Prediction: Lions 17, Vikings 31

Atlanta Falcons (3-4) at Washington Redskins (5-2) 11:00am FOX
Here’s the thing about the Falcons: They have talent and have the ability to hang with the big dogs. But they are snake bitten. Meanwhile, the Redskins, armed with Alex Smith, keep on churning out victory after victory all the way into the NFC East lead. What I’m trying to say is that the Redskins are stable. Well, relatively stable if you simply compare them to the Eagles, Cowboys, and Giants. But that’s all they have to be, so, job well done. Prediction: Falcons 24, Redskins 27

Houston Texans (5-3) at Denver Broncos (3-5) 2:05pm CBS
If recent home history is an indicator, the Broncos will have all the firepower to win this game. They’ve held the Chiefs and Rams to season lows even in defeat. But they also just traded away DT, so there might be some revenge factors going on there for Houston. Most of me thinks the Texans will win because Deshaun Watson is a freak of nature, but the rest of me thinks that if the Broncos can ground the Chiefs and Rams, then they can ground the Texans. Prediction: Texans 23, Broncos 27

Los Angeles Chargers (5-2) at Seattle Seahawks (4-3) 2:05pm CBS
Don’t get it twisted, the Chargers are a better team than Seattle. But that hopped up on caffeine crowd in Seattle gets LOUD!!! They have a good 12th man (crowd), but it isn’t as good as the Broncos 12th man, which the Chargers are use to playing against, so I think they’re neutralized. Is Joey Bosa back or not? That could be the factor here, and he’s looking to be a game time decision along with Melvin Gordon. Prediction: Chargers, 27, Seahawks 30

Los Angeles Rams (8-0) at New Orleans Saints (6-1) 2:25pm FOX
This is the co-game of the week. The Rams are clearly the cream of the crop, but the Saints with only one loss have something to say about that. It’s also in New Orleans. Is this the week that the Rams finally go down? I love going to Broncos home games, but I might, MIGHT have to fly out to New Orleans to see if the Rams finally lose. Who want’s to come with me? I can think of one I want, well, four so it’s more memorable, but... Predictions: Rams 35, Saints 38

Green Bay Packers (3-3-1) at New England Patriots (6-2) 6:20pm NBC SNF
This is the other game of the week. It’s more about the QB showdown than the teams, but that’s kinda the way the NFL is structured these days. How do you ever pick against Rogers (even though apparently you could have correctly picked against him 4 times already)? Then again, how insane do you have to be to pick against Brady at home? And that I think is why we all know who will win this game even if we hate to admit it. Prediction: Packers 31, Patriots 34

Tennessee Titans (3-4) at Dallas Cowboys (3-4) 6:15pm ESPN MNF
I mean, at least this isn’t Raiders vs 49ers. But I’m not sure I have much more to say. “Meh” team against “Meh” team. Woo Hoo. Color me uninspired. Prediction: Titans 20, Cowboys 22