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NFL Power Rankings: Week 12

Losers are winning, and a few winners lost. Wait, Cousins is a loser, and he lost. Nevermind, equilibrium has been restored.

NFL: Denver Broncos at Los Angeles Chargers Jake Roth-USA TODAY Sports

1. New Orleans Saints:

The Saints just dismantled the reining Super Bowl Champs! I’m talking hot knife slicing through butter! They made them look like the chumps who fall for the “I bet I know where you got dem shoes?” level of dumb. The Saints have got to be on a historic pace these last few weeks with scoring. And not only that, how ‘bout that defense?

2. Los Angeles Rams:
Holy 54 points Batman! Their Monday Night Football game against the Chiefs shows just how potent of an offense they have. But it left me questioning their defense? How can you give up 51 points? I get it, 2 strip sacks from Aaron Donald, but still, 51 points is embarrassing by this team considering the Chiefs scored 57 in two combined games against Denver. Remember Denver? The team their current Defensive Coordinator use to coach? The team who lost all their dogs? Yeah, that team.

3. Kansas City Chiefs:
Usually 51 points is enough, but not last night. Did anyone else, and I don’t care what team you root for, but did anyone else watch the Chiefs v Rams and say “Oh man, I wish we had Patrick Mahomes?” And I’m talking even Packer fans should be saying that! And yes, I realize he had 3 INTs and 2 strip sacks from Donald. Those things happen. But six touchdowns and so many clutch “how did he do that” plays? Yeah, can we hire Andy Reid to be our draft day guru when picking QBs please?

4. Pittsburgh Steelers:

Snatching victory from the jaws of defeat. If anyone thinks this team will fold tent and pack it in when they’re having an off day better think again.

5. New England Patriots:

What better way to exit your bye week than playing the Jets?

6. Chicago Bears:

These guys are looking down right scary at this point in the season. They got some offense and defense and just keep churning out victories. I’m not saying they’ll do much in January, but the safe money is that they are playing in January.

7. Los Angeles Chargers:

As predicted, this would be a close game. I had it as a 1 point Chargers victory, but Rivers River’d it up and threw the game away. And this is why he’ll retire without a ring, and why there are always more Broncos fans at their home games than Chargers fans.

8. Carolina Panthers:

I’ll admit, usually I love when teams go for the win, but when they lined up for the two point conversion, I was all “huh, I’d take the tie”... and that shows just how bad of a call it was.

9. Baltimore Ravens:

For those asking about Lamar Jackson and his 27 rushes. I think the Ravens know that isn’t sustainable and that’s fine with them as they will get Flacco back. I also think it shows that they know that he’ll have the ball on 100% of the snaps, and his route tree and anticipation and reading coverages just isn’t where it needs to be yet, so instead of throwing it a lot, they limited it and took his other pass attempts and just had him run with it. It at least kept the Bengals honest, unlike other backup QBs who simply hand the ball off 80% of the time.

10. Houston Texans:

My God J.J. Watt!!! Other things happened in this game, but Joe Theismaning Alex Smith will be the image that is forever burned in our brains. Oh yeah, the Texans are also on a 7 game win streak.

11. Indianapolis Colts:

Andrew Luck is looking like his old self and has his team riding a 4 game win streak. 200+ snaps without a sack. Is that right? Crazy!

12. Minnesota Vikings:

Hahahahaha wait... nope, hahahahahaha “You Like That?!?!?!” ... why yes, yes I do. Suck it Cousins!

13. Seattle Seahawks:

The Seahawks play everyone tough these days, and they may have gotten the Packers head coach fired after this game.

14. Green Bay Packers:

Aaron Rogers or Mike McCarthy, gee, I wonder which one the owner will choose to keep. Being at odds with your QB is one thing, but you gotta know your audience before you dig your heels in the sand against your megastar QB. You will lose this fight coach, how do you not see this?

15. Cincinnati Bengals:

Oh Cincy, what shall we do with you. You’re not all that horrible, but you clearly aren’t all that good either. You should be ashamed for letting Lamar Jackson run 27 times on you without a clear answer.

16. Denver Broncos:

Like I’ve been saying for weeks now, the Broncos have a lot of talent, they just lack the coaching. That talent was on display, as was the faulty coaching that could have cost us. Either way, this is a team that’s not nearly as bad as their record indicates and are honestly a QB away from being a serious contender (which you can say for most teams, but I digress). We have the ingredients, we just need a really masterful chef to get them humming.

17. Tennessee Titans:

Titans did their best to remind their fans that the Colts are a notch above their league, just like when Peyton Manning was their QB.

18. Miami Dolphins:

The bye week is over... It’s time to underwhelm us all again.

19. Washington Redskins:

Why the ridiculous drop in the rankings? This tweet says it all. Makes my skin crawl. Reminded me of Theisman when I saw it.

20. Philadelphia Eagles:

While losing to the best team in the NFL is certainly expected, playing dead and curling up in the fetal position so maybe the Saints would quit playing is something else.

21. Cleveland Browns:

We shall see how they come out of their bye week with their brand new interim head coach.

22. Jacksonville Jaguars:

Just when you thought the Jags would pull off the upset and beat the Steelers, they proved that they’re still the Jaguars and nothing has really changed.

23. Dallas Cowboys:

The Cowboys are flying high with two wins in a row! They’ve made some splashes in trades, but they seem to be working. Plus they remembered that Elliot is a pretty decent weapon.

24. Detroit Lions:

Credit where credit is due. They beat a good team at home. Sure, they almost lost, but they didn’t. This goes down as a victory over the Panthers, and the Lions need all the stepping stones they can get.

25. Atlanta Falcons:

I feel like I write the same thing about the Falcons every single week! They’re more up and down than a rollercoaster! When you think they’ll win, they’ll lose When you think they’ll lose they’ll win or lose. So screw it, they’ll just keep losing. Lets make this easy on ourselves.

26. Tampa Bay Buccaneers:

Wanna know what’s more impressive than scoring 35 points on the road? Not losing to the freaking Giants! That’s what!

27. Buffalo Bills:

Wanna know what will boost you up in rankings? Beating Jacksonville next week. So umm, don’t hold your breath.

28. New York Jets:

So many bye weeks. It’s almost as if the Jets have been on a bye most of the year.

29. New York Giants:

I stand corrected, you actually ARE trying to win games, which shows just how incompetent you really are.

30. San Francisco 49ers:

Keep building towards your future Kyle Shanahan and John Lynch. That’s about all you have at this moment.

31. Oakland Raiders:
The Raiders are so terrible they can’t even F up a tank job of a season properly.

32. Arizona Cardinals:

Looks like the Cardinals want that #1 overall pick a touch more than the Raiders.