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NFL Power Ranking: Week 13

Will Parks channels his inner Steve Atwater on the goalline for the game’s biggest stop!

Super Bowl XLIX - New England Patriots v Seattle Seahawks Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images

1. New Orleans Saints:

The Saints “only” scored 31 points, which is more points than most team can only dream about scoring. They made their division rival and city rival Falcons look like chumps on Thanksgiving night. Amidst all the turkey and libations was a football game, and the Saints once again proved to the Nation that they are the team to beat in the entire NFL

2. Los Angeles Rams:

The Rams have a much deserved week off to rest and heal.

3. Kansas City Chiefs:

The Chiefs are also enjoying their bye week. Time to get back to work next week though.

4. New England Patriots:

Is Tom Brady approaching the point in his career that Peyton Manning did before he reitred? Where each week he sets some all time record? Just that unlike Peyton, it’s because he’s a system QB and playing forever.

5. Pittsburgh Steelers:

I dropped them down one spot for their loss to the Broncos on the road. This is the first speedbump they’ve had, and they still put up a bunch of numbers. I wouldn’t read too much into this, but the week before they barely squeaked by the Jags, and now they lost to the Broncos. We shall see what happens next week against the Chargers.

6. Chicago Bears:

Chase Daniels? Eh, no biggie. Apparently he can win for this team too. I have them as the third best team in the NFC as of last week, and I don’t see any reason to move off of that this week.

7. Houston Texans:
I mean, these guys are on an eight game winning streak. The only longest streak belongs to my #1 team. Deshaun Watson is everything Tim Tebow wished he could have been and he’s the reason why we’ll keep seeing more and more of the QBs who were overlooked a decade ago get drafted in the first round. Also, nice TD catch DT. Wish you had those hands here in Denver.

8. Los Angeles Chargers:

The Chargers are sliding a little, but man did they lay the wood on the Cardinals (as does everyone). But it came at a cost with Melvin Gordon being out with an MCL sprain. Its time for Phillip Rivers to carry the load all by himself once gain.

9. Baltimore Ravens:

Well, Lamar Jackson was more “quarterbacky” in this game, running only eleven times and all. And what better team to try new things out (like not running 27 times) than the Raiders? I mean, it’s a victory either way, so why risk injury, right?

10. Carolina Panthers:

Is this three losses in a row? I want to drop them lower because they seem to be falling apart, but they’re competitive, so I can only drop them so far. But this home loss stings pretty badly, even if Christian McCaffrey put up great numbers. Or as I like to say, “put up numbers Phillip Lindsay would put up with those looks and touches.”

11. Indianapolis Colts:

As long as you have a healthy Andrew Luck, you have a chance. Plain and simple. This was a nail biter that didn’t have to be, but the Colts pulled it out in the end.

12. Minnesota Vikings:

As predicted, now that the Packers are officially a team with a losing record, the Vikings (aka Cousins) will beat them. Because that’s what Cousins does... he beats teams that are losers and loses to teams that are winners. And oh, hey, look, he beat a team that’s a loser. Go figure. Status Quo maintained. Who do they play next? Oh a team with a winning record? Yeah, they’ll lose. Ezpz

13. Denver Broncos:

Remember last week when I posed the question about whether keeping Vance Joseph was actually a good idea if you just got him some young innovative coaches (mainly offense)? Well, back to back wins against playoff teams says that I might have been onto something. And now that we can get semi-creative on offense, let me pose another question: Do we simply need more continuity with our coaches and Billy Musgrave should be retained as well? Or should we get a college OC in here? Oh, and every touch you take from Phillip Lindsay is one touch too many. Everyone keeps saying Freeman is our true RB1, but nope, sorry, it’s Lindsay. He’s built like a tank and doesn’t appear to be slowing down at all. Or maybe you don’t like 8 yards per carry and want to settle for 4 yards per carry? Know what I call that? I call that a losers mentality. Its unfortunate we can’t re-sign Lindsay until his third year of his rookie contract. Dude deserves to be paid and to get out of his mom’s basement.

14. Seattle Seahawks:

Going into North Carolina and coming out with a victory is no small feat, even though they showed some major defensive deficiencies. But guess what? The Broncos beat you, so you can’t be ahead of them this week! Suck it Rainy City B!tch Pigeons!

15. Green Bay Packers:

I want to say “oh how the mighty have fallen”, but they haven’t really been good for a few years, so this comes as no surprise. What is a shame though is wasting the prime years of Aaron Rogers’ career. Either ship him off or ship McCarthy out. And if Rogers is bitching and complaining that much about play-calling, have him give it a shot and be Peyton Manning and run his own offense and call his own plays. Last I checked, your megastar QB can audible out of a play, so why isn’t he?

16. Tennessee Titans:

They had their moments, both good and bad. But ultimately it was bad as they got their score doubled by the Texans. Maybe next time you’ll only loose by 14.

17. Miami Dolphins:

Welcom back Ryan Tannehill. You had a pretty decent showing your first game back, even if your coach doesn’t trust you to throw it on 3rs & Long late in the game... twice.

18. Dallas Cowboys:

The Cowboys still don’t seem like a very good team, even though they’re winning and, get this, with the Redskins now over cause of Alex Smith’s injury, they have a legit shot at the playoffs and the division. For that alone, I have to bump them up, right? And I guess I bumped them up 5 spots, but this still feels too low. Then again, after the Saints surely destroy them 45-17, this 18th spot will feel just right.

19. Philadelphia Eagles:

The Eagles are still lost, but then they have sparks that show that they’re still good. They’re the NFC East version of the Falcons.

20. Cleveland Browns:

Damn Baker, keep that stuff at home when the Broncos come to town.

21. Jacksonville Jaguars:

Blake Bortles has finally been benched, which is a good thing for the Jage, yet likely a bad thing for them as well seeing he’s likely the best of what they have. But hey, when you lose to the Bills, you gotta shake things up.

22. Washington Redskins:

Well, they put up a good fight, but when you lose the captain of your ship, you’re going to take on water.

23. Cincinnati Bengals:

Right in time for the Broncos to play the Bengals, they lose Andy Dalton for the year. Bring it Jeff Driskell, whoever you are.

24. Detroit Lions:

For a second there I thought Detroit might actually do something on Thanksgiving, but alas, Stafford and the boys are who we thought they were.

25. Atlanta Falcons:

You almost, kinda, sorta played the Saints close. Kinda. But not really. I love all the salty tears streaming from the Falcons fans’ eyes on Thanksgiving. They were delicious.

26. Tampa Bay Buccaneers:

When you have to congratulate a team for beating the Niner, something went terribly wrong this season.

27. Buffalo Bills:

Josh Allen paying dividends in Buffalo right about now. Or at least he is this week against the Jaguars.

28. New York Jets:

The Jets game was here to prove to us all that the rein of terror the Patriots have on that division isn’t over quite yet.

29. New York Giants:

For a second there, I thought you had the Eagles dead to rights, and then you reminded us of where you play and what the name on the side of your helmet said.

30. San Francisco 49ers:

Keep building towards your future Kyle Shanahan and John Lynch. That’s about all you have at this moment.

31. Oakland Raiders:

Tank-a-thon has resumed. Nicely done guys, nicely done.

32. Arizona Cardinals:
Well, I mean, at least you showed up for the game and took the field instead of forfeiting. So there is that.