FanPost

Calikula’s Imperial Weekly Thread - Baby It’s Cold Outside Edition

Kena Krutsinger/Getty Images

Welcome to Monday, CIWT peeps! If you’re like me, you may want to forget the events of yesterday, and it’s time for another edition of our favorite place to hang out and discuss a range of topics from the profound to the inane (some of which may even include the Broncos). Last week we discussed introverts, various forms of cooking (donuts, soup/broth/gazpacho, pancakes, pie crust, etc.), better (and more Bronco-color-accurate) ways to denote highly recommended comments here at MHR, Pearl Harbor, the Army-Navy game (and associated branch songs), lampshades/lightbulbs, and much, much more.

Last week, I spent several days in sunny (but decidedly cold and windy) Portland OR, before returning home to cold, drizzly/rainy Tucson AZ. Neither of those are normal conditions this time of year in those particular locales. Although it’s cleared up and warmed up here since (however, I started writing this CIWT in the cold), it reminded me of both how much I hate cold weather, but how cold weather allows some cozy, enjoyable benefits as well. I did suffer a minor hatchet injury (‘tis but a flesh wound) preparing kindling to enjoy a cozy fireplace fire to ward off the cold [and, yes, I realize that I’m talking Arizona cold, which is probably balmy compared with other places, but I’ve been here for 3 decades and my Colorado winter blood has thinned out to deal with our summer heat].

Let’s get ready to rumblediscuss here on this week’s CIWT. But first, the mandatory recitation of the Roowells (followed by a few other items to peruse to get us started):

1. Times have changed, and thus so has the thread. Cursing is now allowed, as long as it is (mostly) PG-13. If not, use our wonderful blackout feature. :)

2. Leave bad blood at the door. If you've got a beef with someone, don't continue it here.

3. Leave trolling at the door as well. Just do. Lets leave the trash talking of other teams for other threads. Gotta set the example, so we don't have to live with the consequences.

4. Certain topics that were once taboo - like politics or religion - are OK, but discuss without getting personal. Respect each other (see below), and if things get heated, then just drop it.

5. This thread is renewed on a weekly basis. Once the new thread is up, (usually Monday mornings) please unREC the previous one to retire it, and REC the new thread to promote it.

6. Respect each other.

7. (Retired for John Elway)

8. Finally, the thread was originally created to be a place to get away from the all of the pointless Broncos arguments, and remember that we're fans. There are plenty of other threads for that. If Broncos football does come up, let's keep it on the sunny side of life.

Don't follow these rules, and my Assassin Sadaraine will chastise you for weeks on end. And DocLLV will not allow you to be in the MHR Hall of Fame. Both of these are consequences you want to avoid.

e5fa3e787d4fa95aa659d6d9d15ee129.0.0.jpeg

Talking Points:

  • How cold does it have to be before it’s "scary cold"?
  • Which is worse by itself - cold, wind, or snow?
  • What is your favorite food and/or beverage to survive a cold winter’s night?
  • Gas fireplace, wood-burning fireplace, wood-burning stove, or no fireplace - which is the better option?
  • When, where, and under what circumstances was the coldest you have ever been?
CIWT Glossary:

Some of us have been here for a long time, while others of us have joined into the fun in the more recent past. Over the weeks/years of the CIWT, we have developed some short-hand terminology that may be considered our own language. Some have requested that we post an explanation of these terms so that those new (and maybe even not so new) can know what it is we are talking about. I figured that I’d start one up here - future CIWT authors, feel free to add to this:

  • BO - a verb describing the customary process (including complying with Rule #5 above) we go through at the start of a fresh, new CIWT: unRECcing the old CIWT, RECcing the new one, and RECcing the "porchlights" at the top of the new CIWT. Some of us add a step of preservation of the previous week’s CIWT for easy future reference. Named after a sometimes here sometimes not CIWT poster (BleedingOrange24). More recently this shorthand term has been "longhanded" out by utilizing two related (or even unrelated) words that start with the letters "B" and "O".
  • CIWT (Calikula’s Imperial Weekly Thread) - the actual acronym for this weekly thread.
  • CWIT (quit) - Tim Lynch’s malaprop version of our name.
  • ESOD (Epic Song of the Day) - A comment including a link to a song that the commenter deems sufficiently "Epic" to be shared with the group.
  • ESON (Epic Song of the Night) - An equally epic song link that happens to be posted in the late afternoon, evening, or night.
  • FP (Front Page) - the main MHR site from which the CIWT is linked. Some of us occasionally consider the CIWT a refuge from the discussions on the FP articles (see SAUWR)
  • To KRONK - when used as a verb, to preternaturally remember minute details from previous CIWT’s weeks, months, or years prior, be able to find them, and blockquote or link to them to illustrate a point one wishes to make in the current CIWT. Only one member here is truly able to KRONK items from CIWT’s past, so the term is also used as a noun as part of his handle.
  • Porchlight - One of several recurring graphic images posted at the start of each week’s CIWT. They generally include the rotating banner for CIWT developed by MetalMan and a photo of the CIWT mascot, but may occasionally include one of several rotating "guest" porchlights. They should be RECced as part of the BO process.
  • SAUWR (Seasonally-Adjusted Unsatisfying Win Ratio) - A term to describe the Stürm und Drang on the FP resulting from a Broncos victory that didn’t happen to be performed in a dominatingly-enough fashion, was due to perceived unforced mistakes by the opponent, is considered to be unsustainable, or otherwise creates discontent over what should be an enjoyable event.
  • SSotW (Scottish Song of the Week) - An ESOD that originates from the northern portion of the island of Great Britain and is sufficiently epic to merit a whole week’s status of prominence.
  • WOT (Wall of Text) - An unusually long comment, generally involving multiple paragraphs, big words, interrelated points, and reference to items from the broader culture (science, politics, economics, religion, etc.). Often modified to reference the particular author of such WOT as in "WOS" (Wall of Styg), "WOW" (Wall of Whorfin), "WOK" (Wall of KRONK), etc.
  • {insert text here} - information included in curly brackets/braces can only be seen by the intended target of the text. It is strangely invisible to all other readers of the CIWT.

Imperial Quote of the Week -


"A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water."

Carl Reiner

This is a Fan-Created Comment on MileHighReport.com. The opinion here is not necessarily shared by the editorial staff of MHR.