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NFL Power Rankings: Week 15

Cover your eyes, a hated rivals is the new #1 and our beloved Broncos are #32.

1. Kansas City Chiefs:

I’m disgusted by this, but who is more worthy? They are tied with the Saints and Rams for the best record in the NFL, and even with injuries mounting, they are still winning. Now, how long will they stay up here? That’s anybody’s guess as injuries will almost certainly take its toll on the team, but today, for now, they are the best.

2. New Orleans Saints:

I almost put the Saints in first just because it made me cringe to have the Chiefs there, but I couldn’t. The Saints have been too up and down these last few weeks. I mean, they were down big time against the Bucs (the team who beat them opening week). Sure, it was a divisional game, but still. That’s almost as bad as losing to the Raiders and/or 9ers. So thankfully they pulled it together and dominated, but still, they let the Bucs hang around far too long as they struggled for my liking.

3. Los Angeles Rams:

What in the world did we witness? Elway is looking like a genius getting rid of Talib all of a sudden. Even though that’s unfair as Talib may have never been hurt if he was in Denver. But Goff... what in the hell was that?

4. Houston Texans:

Yes, the Texans lost, but I still think they’re the best team in Texas which means I can’t rank the Cowboys ahead of them. They were riding the longest win streak in the NFL, and something tells me that even the Texan fans wanted them to lose a game right around this time so they weren’t riding a 13 game streak into the playoffs. Because you know what they say, streaks are meant to be snapped. Better snap it now and then win the next three to ride high in the playoffs than take a ridiculously long streak into the playoffs and then drop a game. Of course, that might just be superstition type talk, but still.

5. Dallas Cowboys:

Yes Cowboy fans, your team is the third best team in the NFC. Savor it, because the playoffs are coming and we have yet to see them win in the playoffs since half our readers weren’t even born! The same can be said about KC, but I think Mahomes wills them to win. Day doesn’t strike me as that type of QB.

6. New England Patriots:

I’m not sure what to think of the Patriots right now. Are they a mediocre team that must rely on Brady and Belichick to compete and maybe win? Or are they a good team that simply struggles at time? Honestly, I think they’re a mediocre team and it’s only a matter of time until the fear factor of playing them goes away. But in the playoffs, you never know. They’re still terrifying in the playoffs. Until that mystique is gone, they must be ranked up there at this time of the year.

7. Seattle Seahawks:

They may not be the dominant Seahawks of old, but they are slowly accumulating enough wins to make a playoff run yet again.

8. Chicago Bears:

Did anyone else see what they did against the Rams? I would rank them higher, but I mean, they lost to the damn Giants just a week ago.

9. Los Angeles Chargers:

Funny how the NFL works with their conferences and divisions. The Chargers have the second best record in the AFC, so they should be the #2 seed, right? WRONG! You’re a wildcard team. Unfair? Yep. But I’m also not the commissioner making $40+ million per year.

10. Pittsburgh Steelers:

I called it in my predictions!! BOOM!!! Lost to the Raiders. What an up and down team, but their record is still good enough for the playoffs and they’re still dangerous when they want to be. Big Ben going out be damned, he came back like he always does. But was he wearing a different color piece of his uniform like he does shoes so everyone notices that he got dinged up and can then gush over his toughness for the remainder of the broadcast?

11. Baltimore Ravens:

Why the drop when you lose on the road to the #1 team? Because I felt like it. I think the teams above you could beat you 51% of the time.

12. Indianapolis Colts:

You beat Houston on the road, but again, you goose egged last week to the pathetic Jags.

13. Miami Dolphins:

You’re climbing because of that hokey play at the end. Just the way Adam Gase drew it up. You beat your most hated rival, and there’s something to be said about that. You’re knocking on the playoff door, so you move back up to “knocking on the playoff door” territory.

14. Cleveland Browns:

Baker Mayfield with Hue = 58% completion, 8 TD and 6 INT
Baker Mayfield post Hue (i.e. who the Broncos play) = 73% completion, 11 TD and 4 INT
What does this mean? It means the Broncos are bending over and bracing for insertion.

15. Tennessee Titans:

I’m still not sure what to make of the Titans. They are kinda like the Dolphins to me. They are in that “meh” territory. You don’t quite trust them, but they are winning enough to be in the hunt.

16. Minnesota Vikings:

Again, Kirk Cousins is completely incapable of beating winning teams. I wonder if Vegas has picked up on this yet? Why are the #16? Because that’s smack dab in the middle of the NFL which means .500... so we know they will lose to everyone above them and have a 50/50 shot at everyone below them. How do you like that overhyped, over priced, loser of a QB now Viking fans? I honestly want to hear it in the comments. You were better with Keenum. Like people say “there’s a reason the Vikings let Keenum go”, well, “there’s a reason the Redskins let Cousins go!”

17. Philadelphia Eagles:

And the losing continues.

18. Carolina Panthers:

My goodness how this once good team has fallen. And by “once” I mean just a month ago when they were flying high and the showdown with New Orleans looked to be for the division.

19. Detroit Lions:

Congrats, you beat the freaking Cardinals.

21. Green Bay Packers:

Well, I think we got our answer to whether or not Aaron Rogers was intentionally trying to get McCarthy fired. Is he still a great QB? Absolutely. Does he deserve to have a crap ton of respect taken from him as a person? You’re damn right!

20. Atlanta Falcons:

I believe if you looked up the term “slump buster” you’d find a picture of the Falcons. Ok, maybe not, but if you looked up the term “NFL Team Slump Buster” you might.

22. Jacksonville Jaguars:

Witnessing the disaster of the Jags for all the offseason hype and blowhard talk makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.

23. Washington Redskins:

And Butt Fumble returns!

24. Cincinnati Bengals:

Hey, there’s no shame in losing to the Chargers in Los Angeles (ish area), but this team is in full free fall and unfortunately for their fans, they won too many games early for this to have a silver lining with a high draft pick.

25. New York Giants:

The Giants are making noise... Which really makes no sense because they had the #1 seed locked up! It’s like they’re allergic to making their fans happy. Oh, no, wait, that’s the Broncos who are allergic to that.

26. Tampa Bay Buccaneers:

They can score, but they can’t play defense or win many games...

27. New York Jets:

I’m not sure if Sam Darnold will be good or not. Actually, I’m leaning towards him being a glorified Mark Sanchez. How can I be so sure? Because Elway loved him and was set to take him if he fell to #5, and if there’s one thing we know, it’s that unless you’re already a hall of fame QB, Elway is about as bad of a QB evaluater as it gets.

28. Buffalo Bills:

Again, the headlines are Josh Allen’s ability to run with his third straight 90+ rushing day. Hey Josh, that’s not a good thing! You want the headlines to be about your arm and passing acumen!

29. Oakland Raiders:

Hey, you did your part and beat the Steelers, and as I promised last week in my predictions, that keeps you out of the basement even though the Broncos couldn’t capitalize against the pathetic 49ers.

30. San Francisco 49ers:

I hope the Broncos fans digested what a real young NFL coach looked like when they put the camera on Kyle Shanahan. Remember, we could have had him. He wanted to be here, and he even said as much during the radio interviews last week. And his record? Yeah, look at all the injuries including at the most important position before you crucify him.

31. Arizona Cardinals:

Be lucky the Broncos suck even worse than you Cardinals.

32. Denver Broncos:
Why dead last? Because when your team will play down to the competition, and the competition is the bottom feeder of the league and then lose to them, you deserve to be the last ranked team. I bet if they played Arizona today, the Broncos lose. Pathetic. Just pathetic! Do the Avs play Saturday so I don’t feel the desire to watch the shit show dumpster fire that is about to be laid out against the Browns? If freaking Nick Mullens destroys us, just imagine Baker Freaking Mayfield !!!