What an offseason!
Every day is something new and exciting as we eagerly await the Schefter/Klis/Rapoport etc,. bombs.
The Broncos interviewing Vic Fangio and Mike Munchak and getting both of them is one of the most baller things I’ve seen in a while and Elway deserves credit for making it happen. Munchak is a total beast as an O-line coach and we should all be pumped to see what he does with that unit in 2019 and beyond. Though that was our good news of the last few days, the bad/good/who the heck knows news comes with the departure of Gary Kubiak.
Kubes is headed to colder pastures in Minnesota where he will take on some unkown role for their offense and likely listen to Kelly Clarkson while gazing at the tear streaked image of his number-one bro John Elway.
Rumors abound about why this all came about and how on earth John Elway, Gary Kubiak, Vic Fangio, the team and all the reporters were seemingly 100% confident that the former Broncos HC, OC, QB and BFF would be with the team in some position and almost for sure as Offensive Coordinator before everything was blown up as if it were Alderaan and we were left like innocent little Ewoks wondering what our new lord and master, Darth Fangio would do with this offense.
As we wait and see what happens with the coaching staff and whether or not Elway can connive his way into hiring Rich Scangarello away from his position as the 49er’s QB coach, I would rather discuss what went wrong with the Elway-Kubiak relationship and why they are now bitterly divorced from each other as football friends.
The problem lies exactly in the last word of the previous sentence: “Friends”. It is a word that is almost always thought of in a positive light and something that generally helps the world go round and keeps us from destroying each other. There are rare occasions, however, where your friends should not be part of the equation in any way shape or form, including:
Sailing together 200 years ago in the Arctic Ocean.
Crossing the Sierra Nevada in the Winter.
Trying to find a giant ape on a skull shaped island.
Working as your employees.
My firm belief is that this whole situation and confusion with Elway and Kubiak was caused simply because they were friends.
Imagine the conversation that the two probably had on January 2nd, 2019. It likely went something like this:
J.E: Yo Kubes, bro what should we do about our crappy offense?
G.K: Dunno man, thought maybe like something new and dope.
J.E: Nahhh wayyy dude, that’s what I thought!
G.K: Totally man, like college style with a mix of Shanninness plus an extra portion of awesomsauce.
J.E: Bro you are so totally my number one bro.
G.K: Ditto bro.
Not an exact script, but from my limited sources, I did the best that I could. Now remember again that these two are close friends. With friends you have a simple trust, an implied faith in the other person. Sometimes things are left unsaid because you simply don’t feel like it needs to be said because you trust them and are sure that you know them completely.
If you are hiring a stranger, do you ask if they have ever committed a felony? Absolutely.
If you are hiring your buddy (unless you are joking), do you ask him the same question? No. Either because you “know” him or because it’s an awkward thing to ask a bro, you just leave it unsaid and move on to cooler topics.
In other words, Elway and Kubiak had the conversation about a new and exciting “college style” offense but it only reached a certain point because they both thought what needed to be said had been said.
Now imagine the conversation shortly after Vic Fangio walks into the offices at Dove Valley.
V.F: Hey do you youngsters have a plan for the offense? Gary is a good coach but I want something that is up-to-date with the current NFL.
J.F: Totes bro. We discussed the whole thing. Gary is going to bring us into the future.
V.F: Sounds great guys, who do you plan on bringing in as your assistants?
J.E: Well dude, I thought you and Gare could find some young...
G.K: Naw man, I know some awesome guys. Remember Dennison and Pariani?
J.E: Bro....I fired those guys.
G.K: Yeah but man they’re great and totally the future.
G.K: Trust me, this offense will be the bomb. Like, 1998 the bomb.
Yes, the whole misunderstanding, the lost relationship, the all-time Bronco has left the building all because he and his bro didn’t finish a conversation as has happened in billions of friendships over the years. Elway and any other subordinate would have had a lengthy, in-depth talk about every detail of the new plan but these two didn’t because of their darn friendship.
In the end, John Elway likely learned a valuable lesson: Friends are for the golf course, not to serve as your underlings.
I want to give a shoutout to The Skipper Dude for his ever awesome segments on Broncos & Bratwurst and to this week’s “Fan Ranter”, Luke Short. May the force be with you, always.
How do you feel about Kubiak moving on?
This poll is closed
Great! Dude was an anchor
Horrible! Dude was our one chance