Good morning, Broncos Country!
My former life of competitive athletics has been reduced to weekend warrior status these days - which means I spend a lot of time covering various and multiple muscle groups in Kinesio Tape™ before the event and strapping huge ice bags to them afterward.
Because of this, I am constantly watching YouTube videos on how to apply the KT tape to whichever latest injury I have acquired, and it has become a joke at my house that “mommy is watching another KT tape video.”
Mostly everyone loves go make fun of the trainer’s deep narrator-like voice as he constantly repeats to apply the tape strip with “absolutely zero stretch.”
So last week when the Broncos offense was on its fourth or fifth sack and I had had my seventh or eighth meltdown, my youngest asked how many sacks. I replied, “about 50, but we need zero.”
He immediately applied the deep, narrator voice - “Zero sacks.”
You might have guessed that that response has taken over the household, and has been my go-to for pretty much any question about the upcoming game.
I know. There’s A LOT more to winning a game than your QB not getting sacked. And, of course, when you have a left tackle like Garett Bolles, too often the alternative to “no sack” is “holding penalty” - and that’s no good either.
This is...not good. https://t.co/lFJwS4dWjb— Doctor of Words (and tights and kicking ass) (@docllv) October 26, 2019
But if I’m Mike Munchak this past week, I’m livid that my line allowed nine sacks (eight to Joe Flacco) and at least half of those were the line’s fault. And so in addition to possibly benching my starting left tackle, I’m throwing away the complicated technique sessions and just yelling constantly, “ZERO G-D SACKS!” all week.
Luckily for the Broncos offense - and Broncos Country - I am not Munchak, so you all can rest easy and the linemen can continue learning actual technique and fundamentals from a Hall-of-Famer rather than some dumb mantra from me.
But I AM going to keep saying “zero sacks” in the deep, narrator voice hoping that it somehow rubs off on our offense this weekend - the linemen will block, the QB will read a blitz, the OC will call the right play design - so this team has a shot at competing with the Colts.
Until then, go enjoy your Saturdays; I have some KT tape to apply.
/walks away, muttering in deep voice, “zero sacks.”
What is the over-under on whether the offensive line will allow more sacks than body parts that docllv has to tape (3).
This poll is closed
Oh, they’re totally giving up more than 3 - easily 5
It’ll be dead-even.
Nah, Ja’Wuan James is coming back, they’ll be under 3.
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