FanPost

Calikula’s Imperial Weekly Thread - Day of the Federal Chief Executive (or something like that) Edition

Welcome back to another edition of the best place in the internet to discuss topics planned and unplanned that may or may not be related to the team in orange that brings us all together here. This week starts out with a day that you may or may not get to take off work for, President’s Day (or if you work for Trogdoor’s employer, "Washington’s Birthday", even though that actually occurs on Saturday). It’s a day that’s intended to not only honor Washington and Lincoln (the presidents that we traditionally honor on or about their February birthdays), but ostensibly all presidents. More likely, though, most of us will just take it as a day off of work, or like me will have to work but will enjoy the lighter commuting traffic that the holiday brings. Here in southern Arizona, the school kids won’t get President’s Day off, because they’ll get a couple of days off at the end of the week for Rodeo Days due to the upcoming Fiesta de los Vaqueros in Tucson. I guess whatever works - but I’ll be in the office all week.

Last week we discussed some other "holiday" that occurred toward the end of last week, hypocritical self-important movie "stars", rom-coms, acceptable coatings for award stars, music/poetry forms, truffles of various types, breakfast, soup (but not breakfast soup), taxes, 2/14 birthdays, knee injuries, and the sentience of plants. Whatever will we find to ramble on about this week?

But before we take off, we are bound by tradition and the terms of our MHR charter to remind everyone of the way we do things around these here parts (a.k.a., the mandatory recitation of the CIWT ROOWELLS):

1. Times have changed, and thus so has the thread. Cursing is now allowed, as long as it is (mostly) PG-13. If not, use our wonderful blackout feature. :)

2. Leave bad blood at the door. If you've got a beef with someone, don't continue it here.

3. Leave trolling at the door as well. Just do. Lets leave the trash talking of other teams for other threads. Gotta set the example, so we don't have to live with the consequences.

4. Certain topics that were once taboo - like politics or religion - are OK, but discuss without getting personal. Respect each other (see below), and if things get heated, then just drop it.

5. This thread is renewed on a weekly basis. Once the new thread is up, (usually Monday mornings) please unREC the previous one to retire it, and REC the new thread to promote it.

6. Respect each other.

7. (Retired for John Elway)

8. Finally, the thread was originally created to be a place to get away from the all of the pointless Broncos arguments, and remember that we're fans. There are plenty of other threads for that. If Broncos football does come up, let's keep it on the sunny side of life.

Don't follow these rules, and my Assassin Sadaraine will tell you that your father smells of elderberries. And DocLLV will not allow you to be in the MHR Hall of Fame. Both of these are consequences you want to avoid.

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CIWT Glossary

BO – a verb describing the customary process (including complying with Rule #5 above) we go through at the start of a fresh, new CIWT: unRECcing the old CIWT, RECcing the new one, and RECcing the "porchlights" at the top of the new CIWT. Some of us add a step of preservation of the previous week’s CIWT for easy future reference. Named after a sometimes here sometimes not CIWTposter (BleedingOrange24). More recently this shorthand term has been "longhanded" out by utilizing two related (or even unrelated) words that start with the letters "B" and "O".

Cancel Hole ©️™️®️ – The location to which we send comments that we type up in response to a previous comment, recognize that it’s NSFB/derogatory/otherwise inappropriate, and hit the "cancel" button prior to hitting the "post" button. Certain topics are sure to require extensive use of the Cancel Hole, which then requires said Cancel Hole to be pumped out.

CIWT (Calikula’s Imperial Weekly Thread) – the actual acronym for this weekly thread.

#CIWT Solutions – After someone asks a question/make a comment, and Whorfin (or others) point out what your "famous worker" would point out – the obvious answer.

CWIT (quit) – Tim Lynch’s malaprop version of our name.

ESOD (Epic Song of the Day) – A comment including a link to a song that the commenter deems sufficiently "Epic" to be shared with the group.

ESON (Epic Song of the Night) – An equally epic song link that happens to be posted in the late afternoon, evening, or night.

FP (Front Page) – the main MHR site from which the CIWT is linked. Some of us occasionally consider the CIWT a refuge from the discussions on the FP articles (see SAUWR).

To KRONK – when used as a verb, to preternaturally remember minute details from previous CIWT’s weeks, months, or years prior, be able to find them, and blockquote or link to them to illustrate a point one wishes to make in the current CIWT. Only one member here is truly able to KRONK items from CIWT’s past, so the term is also used as a noun as part of his handle.

NSFB – Not safe for [a former participant who had…different…standards for what was and what was not appropriate visual material for the site]. Generally equivalent to the more common NSFW acronym, though.

New Slovakia - The country to the north of such American cities as Seattle WA, Minneapolis MN, Burlington VT, and most importantly, Buffalo NY (but that is curiously south of Detroit MI). Some of you may think that it’s called "Canada".

Porchlight – One of several recurring graphic images posted at the start of each week’s CIWT. They generally include the rotating banner for CIWT developed by MetalMan and a photo of the CIWT mascot, but may occasionally include one of several rotating "guest" porchlights. They should be RECced as part of the BO process.

:registered::tm::copyright: – A mechanism to ensure that a particular term cannot be utilized outside of the CIWT without compensating the originator with unspecified royalties. There is often quite the scrum amongst the group to be the first to make the claim as "originator".

To Saguaro – to respond to a question or a previous comment with a statement that one does not have the time required to make a full response, but leave a little "teaser" response along with a promise of an upcoming WOT (see below) to give the response the loquaciousness it deserves.

SAUWR (Seasonally-Adjusted Unsatisfying Win Ratio) – A term to describe the Stürm und Drang on the FP resulting from a Broncos victory that didn’t happen to be performed in a dominatingly-enough fashion, was due to perceived unforced mistakes by the opponent, is considered to be unsustainable, or otherwise creates discontent over what should be an enjoyable event.

SSotW (Scottish Song of the Week) – An ESOD that originates from the northern portion of the island of Great Britain and is sufficiently epic to merit a whole week’s status of prominence.

To Whorfinate – Preserve the content of previous CIWTs by some mysterious process that is hinted at but never fully explained. If one Whorfinates a particular CIWT, they don’t have to KRONK to recover the information.

WOT (Wall of Text) – An unusually long comment, generally involving multiple paragraphs, big words, interrelated points, and reference to items from the broader culture (science, politics, economics, religion, etc.). Often modified to reference the particular author of such WOT as in "WOS" (Wall of Styg), "WOW" (Wall of Whorfin), "WOK" (Wall of KRONK), etc.

{insert text here} – information included in curly brackets/braces can only be seen by the intended target of the text. It is strangely invisible to all other readers of the CIWT

Talking Points

  • Who is your favorite/most admired President of the United States?
  • Two weekends in, what is your opinion of the XFL? Do you have a favorite team yet?
  • What’s the best way to spend a day off in mid-February?
  • Has the prophecy of the large subterranean rodent been accurate in your locale?
  • What National Day doesn’t exist but should?
Imperial Quote of the Week:

"Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job."

- Douglas Adams - The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Universe


This is a Fan-Created Comment on MileHighReport.com. The opinion here is not necessarily shared by the editorial staff of MHR.