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Calikula’s Imperial Weekly Thread - Welcome to Coral Edition

Welcome CIWT fans! With the Coral commenting system launch, we’ll be moving your FanPost to the main thread until FanPost comments are back online.

Candlestick Park Sits Empty Awaiting Demolition Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images

Happy Monday, Broncos Country!

With the new roll-out of the Coral commenting system, we have to move this weekly FanPost to the front page for the time being. Comments will not be working on the FanPost or FanShot sections for a while and until they get those back online we’ll need a new home for Calikula’s Imperial Weekly Thread.

We’ll keep this pinned near the top of the front page all week. You can also join our fan Discord channels. The first was created by the fans who have kept this CIWT thread going for years and the second is our site’s official discord channel. These might be the places to be until some of the kinks in the Coral system are worked out in the coming weeks.

CIWT Discord:

MHR Discord:

Most of the same rules apply in those Discord channels as will exist here on the site.

CIWT Rules

I know that you were waiting for this - as in every week’s CIWT, we must have the mandatory recitation of the CIWT ROOWELLS:

  1. Times have changed, and thus so has the thread. Cursing is now allowed, as long as it is (mostly) PG-13. If not, use our wonderful blackout feature. :)
  2. Leave bad blood at the door. If you’ve got a beef with someone, don’t continue it here.
  3. Leave trolling at the door as well. Just do. Lets leave the trash talking of other teams for other threads. Gotta set the example, so we don’t have to live with the consequences.
  4. Certain topics that were once taboo - like politics or religion - are OK, but discuss without getting personal. Respect each other (see below), and if things get heated, then just drop it.
  5. This thread is renewed on a weekly basis. Once the new thread is up, (usually Monday mornings) please unREC the previous one to retire it, and REC the new thread to promote it.
  6. Respect each other.
  7. (Retired for John Elway)
  8. Finally, the thread was originally created to be a place to get away from the all of the pointless Broncos arguments, and remember that we’re fans. There are plenty of other threads for that. If Broncos football does come up, let’s keep it on the sunny side of life.

Don’t follow these rules, and my Assassin Sadaraine will tell you that your father smells of elderberries. And DocLLV will not allow you to be in the MHR Hall of Fame. Both of these are consequences you want to avoid.

CIWT Glossary

BO – a verb describing the customary process (including complying with Rule #5 above) we go through at the start of a fresh, new CIWT: unRECcing the old CIWT, RECcing the new one, and RECcing the “porchlights” at the top of the new CIWT. Some of us add a step of preservation of the previous week’s CIWT for easy future reference. Named after a sometimes here sometimes not CIWTposter (BleedingOrange24). More recently this shorthand term has been “longhanded” out by utilizing two related (or even unrelated) words that start with the letters “B” and “O”.

Cancel Hole ©️™️®️ – The location to which we send comments that we type up in response to a previous comment, recognize that it’s NSFB/derogatory/otherwise inappropriate, and hit the “cancel” button prior to hitting the “post” button. Certain topics are sure to require extensive use of the Cancel Hole, which then requires said Cancel Hole to be pumped out.

CIWT (Calikula’s Imperial Weekly Thread) – the actual acronym for this weekly thread.

#CIWT Solutions – After someone asks a question/make a comment, and Whorfin (or others) point out what your “famous worker” would point out – the obvious answer.

CWIT (quit) – Tim Lynch’s malaprop version of our name.

ESOD (Epic Song of the Day) – A comment including a link to a song that the commenter deems sufficiently “Epic” to be shared with the group.

ESON (Epic Song of the Night) – An equally epic song link that happens to be posted in the late afternoon, evening, or night.

ESMOW (Epic Song Mascot of the Week) - An equally epic song link with sufficient ties to the subject of the week’s CIWT version to be listed among the porchlights.

FP (Front Page) – the main MHR site from which the CIWT is linked. Some of us occasionally consider the CIWT a refuge from the discussions on the FP articles (see SAUWR).

Kilo Klub ®️™️©️ - the group of CIWT authors with posts that collected at least 1,000 comments over the week in which the CIWT that they authored ran.

[To] KRONK – when used as a verb, to preternaturally remember minute details from previous CIWT’s weeks, months, or years prior, be able to find them, and blockquote or link to them to illustrate a point one wishes to make in the current CIWT. Only one member here is truly able to KRONK items from CIWT’s past, so the term is also used as a noun as part of his handle.

NSFB – Not safe for [a former participant who had…different…standards for what was and what was not appropriate visual material for the site]. Generally equivalent to the more common NSFW acronym, though.

New Slovakia - The country to the north of such American cities as Seattle WA, Minneapolis MN, Burlington VT, and most importantly, Buffalo NY (but that is curiously south of Detroit MI). Some of you may think that it’s called “Canada”.

NTTAWWI - “Not That There’s Anything Wrong With It”

Porchlight – One of several recurring graphic images posted at the start of each week’s CIWT. They generally include the rotating banner for CIWT developed by MetalMan and a photo of the CIWT mascot, but may occasionally include one of several rotating “guest” porchlights. They should be RECced as part of the BO process.

– A mechanism to ensure that a particular term cannot be utilized outside of the CIWT without compensating the originator with unspecified royalties. There is often quite the scrum amongst the group to be the first to make the claim as “originator”.

[To] Saguaro – to respond to a question or a previous comment with a statement that one does not have the time required to make a full response, but leave a little “teaser” response along with a promise of an upcoming WOT (see below) to give the response the loquaciousness it deserves.

SAUWR (Seasonally-Adjusted Unsatisfying Win Ratio) – A term to describe the Stürm und Drang on the FP resulting from a Broncos victory that didn’t happen to be performed in a dominatingly-enough fashion, was due to perceived unforced mistakes by the opponent, is considered to be unsustainable, or otherwise creates discontent over what should be an enjoyable event.

SSotW (Scottish Song of the Week) – An ESOD that originates from the northern portion of the island of Great Britain and is sufficiently epic to merit a whole week’s status of prominence.

TEOTWAWKI - “The End Of The World As We Know It” (which always makes me have REM music running through my head for the next few hours)

#WaterWorks - A comment posted in the wee (-wee) hours of the night while the author of said comment was already up for another purpose that may or may not have something to do with the number of revolutions around the sun he may have experienced.

[To] Whorfinate – Preserve the content of previous CIWTs by some mysterious process that is hinted at but never fully explained. If one Whorfinates a particular CIWT, they don’t have to KRONK to recover the information.

WOT (Wall of Text) – An unusually long comment, generally involving multiple paragraphs, big words, interrelated points, and reference to items from the broader culture (science, politics, economics, religion, etc.). Often modified to reference the particular author of such WOT as in “WOS” (Wall of Styg), “WOW” (Wall of Whorfin), “WOK” (Wall of KRONK), etc.

Talking Points
  • So, let everyone know what you think of Coral.
  • Coral anyone?
  • How about Coral?
  • Coral FAQs.
Imperial Quote of the Week

“Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.” - Aristotle